Last for the individual couples portion of the show are Helio Castroneves and Julianne, who will cha-cha. In the rehearsal footage, we discover Helio can't stick his butt out. It's like the lumbar portion of his spine is fused. When it comes to doing it in front of a live audience, however, Helio comes to life, and the dance isn't bad. It lacks the spark they had early on, but the basics are there, and it's still better than at least half the couples we've seen. I get the feeling this pair is holding back for the group dance, when they'll get to throw in some tricks and the previously forbidden lifts. The judges are much kinder to Helio and Julianne than they have been in the most recent weeks, with Len telling them it was fantastic, Bruno announcing they are back in the race, and Carrie Ann stating the "Latin booty was working overtime." Well, it's no warp-drive crotch action, but it will do. Their score...28 points.
Tom Jones called. He wants his pants back...but not the vest.
To kill time and allow Helio and Julianne to get changed, we're shown the video of the couples prepping for the first group presentation. Christian Perry is the choreographer, and he's chosen the over-used theme of a 1950s Rock & Roll rumble. Think Danny and Sandi crossed with Sodapop, Cherry, and Johnny. (Stay golden, Pony Boy.) And they're rehearsing on the old Happy Days set. I kept waiting for Arnold to come out with a basket of fries for them. Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Rock & Roll High School or Pep Rally for The Middle Aged. You make the call.
Let me be blunt: I didn't like the final product. Some couples got more time in the spotlight than others, and the camera work was such that I couldn't do a decent comparison of technique. Each pair was allowed five to fifteen seconds of solo work, and they all wasted it with a fancy lift which didn't demonstrate anything but the guy's ability to heft their partner into the air, regardless of size. The only thing I saw for sure was a mistake by Jane Seymore...and I'm not talking about that awful platinum wig they made her wear. Okay, I am...but not just the wig.
And so Monday ended. Then came The Results Show.
Now, before we talk about who is out, I would like to point out Tom Bergeron's statement during Monday's show - before votes were even cast - when he said the results this week would be surprising. And at the beginning of the Results Show, he again said we should all expect the unexpected. It was as though he already knew somehow we would all be stunned. So when the time finally came...I wasn't. By so thoroughly preparing us for a startling dismissal, TPTB took all the fun out of it for the audience. It's like blind-folding someone for a taste test, then telling them exactly what you're putting in their mouth.
But we didn't get to the axing right away. There was so much more to cover. For example, Jane Seymore was M.I.A. due to a bout of food poisoning. Did Cameron Mathison slip a vial of something vile into Jane's smoothie? Or did Mel B. taint her tuna? We may never know, but on the upside, the whole thing could result in a nice Pepto Bismal endorsement for Ms. Seymore.
We begin with Tom introducing some special guests: firemen who have been battling the California blazes.
The producers overestimate the show's level of hotness.
As the dance of the week, the judges take the easy way out and choose the group dance. And I'll be darned if the director doesn't call for the exact same sucky camera shots they used on Monday. Choose some alternative angles! Show us something different. Lazy, lazy, lazy. No Emmy for you.
Grease is the word. No. Really.
Barry Manilow arrived to perform his newest hit, Looks Like I Bottoxed. He's apparently become very good friends with Wayne Newton's plastic surgeon. I used to really like Barry...until he decided to pick on sweet little expectant mother, Elizabeth Hasselbeck. I wonder if he checked everyone's politics before he agreed to set foot on the DWTS stage. Probably not. I'm betting that the need to hype his new CD probably outweighed his "values" this time. What a shmuck.
Barry prays for all conservatives to disappear.
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Comments (7)
Once again, you are so right! Marie IS one of those fainting goats....LOL... so funny!
They certainly are getting alot of mileage out of her drop to the floor.
I wasn't upset to see Cheater Girl go.... but I was shocked she went before Cameron.
Let's see what happens if the writers strike....
Great Recap... you should do more shows.
1 of 7 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on November 4, 2007 12:42 AM
Rough week for you, cattyfan, but thanks for the recap!
I wasn't completely surprised that Cheetah Girl went. First off, I didn't hear all the talk about "surprising results" and whatnot. I have a habit of tuning out the part I don't want to see or listen to (See: Mel B.).
But, I wasn't surprised because of all the talk about her having an instructional dance video out. To be honest, I stopped voting for her because of that...it pissed me off that badly! I don't think I was alone.
I'll also mention though, that I've read several reports of people voting by phone (for her) and getting cut off after a couple of votes. They were told they'd reached their maximum though they'd clearly not. Hm. It's Americal Idol all over again.
Anyway, while the video ticked me off, there were others I thought should've gone before her.
For example...WHO is voting for Jane???? UGH! She really ought to be the next to go.
If Helio goes before her (and a few others), I'm done.
One last mention - I, also, did NOT like the group dance.
2 of 7 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on November 4, 2007 8:00 AM
I was not shocked that Sabrina went home. If you really think about it, how many of her fans really watch the show? Probably not too many after watching this episode. I just don't think she should have been sent home this early. I thought it would either be marie because she sucks or jane because she plays it safe ALL the TIME! I also think that it wasn't fare to have her on the show because she has experiance in dancing. Even though it's not ballroom danceing, she still has an sdvantage of counting steps and memorizing moves. I like to be able to see people who have no experience progress enstead of knowing that some one with lots of knowledege is going to show you they still can dance. Can I say BORING!!! I think Jennie is doing great. She is really showing she can do it.
I am so curious who is going to win. I think the top three will be... Mel B, Jennie and Helio. But who knows, It will probably end up with Marie because all her 8 kids must have lots of friends and family or Jane because lots of older people watch the show.
3 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 6, 2007 10:46 AM
I was not shocked that Sabrina went home. If you really think about it, how many of her fans really watch the show? Probably not too many after watching this episode. I just don't think she should have been sent home this early. I thought it would either be marie because she sucks or jane because she plays it safe ALL the TIME! I also think that it wasn't fare to have her on the show because she has experiance in dancing. Even though it's not ballroom danceing, she still has an sdvantage of counting steps and memorizing moves. I like to be able to see people who have no experience progress enstead of knowing that some one with lots of knowledege is going to show you they still can dance. Can I say BORING!!! I think Jennie is doing great. She is really showing she can do it.
I am so curious who is going to win. I think the top three will be... Mel B, Jennie and Helio. But who knows, It will probably end up with Marie because all her 8 kids must have lots of friends and family or Jane because lots of older people watch the show.
4 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 6, 2007 10:49 AM
I was not shocked that Sabrina went home. If you really think about it, how many of her fans really watch the show? Probably not too many after watching this episode. I just don't think she should have been sent home this early. I thought it would either be marie because she sucks or jane because she plays it safe ALL the TIME! I also think that it wasn't fare to have her on the show because she has experiance in dancing. Even though it's not ballroom danceing, she still has an sdvantage of counting steps and memorizing moves. I like to be able to see people who have no experience progress enstead of knowing that some one with lots of knowledege is going to show you they still can dance. Can I say BORING!!! I think Jennie is doing great. She is really showing she can do it.
I am so curious who is going to win. I think the top three will be... Mel B, Jennie and Helio. But who knows, It will probably end up with Marie because all her 8 kids must have lots of friends and family or Jane because lots of older people watch the show.
5 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 6, 2007 10:51 AM
Okay, I'm rooting for HELIO, CAMERON and Jennie. Everybody, else can take a hike --- though I hope Marie faints again before she gets the boot.
(I miss that Mark Cuban.)
6 of 7 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on November 6, 2007 1:04 PM
What happened to Catty Fan? No recaps on DWTS for several weeks now!!
7 of 7 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on November 25, 2007 8:57 AM