We then have to go through MJW's horrific critiques again! They were so mean to our little Chubbers! And all Tony could do through the whole post-interview was hang his head. MJW kept smiling on but Tony looked like:

"FUCK THIS. I GIVE UP."

Mario had a rough night last night - went from the top to the bottom. And the Gut didn't get reamed out like he thought he would (or hoped for). Adam commented that although Carrie said he was sexy, she'd never date him and nor would the rest of America. Oh Adam stop it - there's always Jimmy. He'd give you a handy for a tic-tac.

Shannon was exhausted after her dance last night. (She's no Jane Fonda.) Cristian and Priscilla were clearly the break out stars of the night.

Len gets to choose his favorite dance of the night before - and what does he choose?!? The Gut dancing the Tango... WITH JONATHON?!? WHAT?! I didn't think this show could get any gayer after Bruno "outed" himself - but there you have it. Tom introduces the dance as the "Mango". At that same moment Chris Kattan is filing for copyright infringement.

I give Jonathon major props. He totally embraces the "female" role - previously held by his wife, Anna - and has a good time playing it up. Lord knows there'd be a lot of "I SWEAR I'M STRAIGHT" actors out there that would have ben inclined to throw the Gut around like a dirty rag doll to prove their manhood.

The dance is mildy funny thanks to Jonathon's commitment, however Steve's atrocious dancing has somehow gotten worse since last night. Maybe he's got man-jitters. Remember he said Jonathon excites him because he's hairy! BUH!

They try to have a big finish and Steve ends up taking Jonathon out into a little romp-fest on the floor:

"Hey. Why don't I take you back to my place? I can dress up in the ol' "Police Academy" outfit and put you over the hood of my Kia."

Tom and Useless Samantha go over everyone's standings. Adam has moved on up. Meanwhile Shannon, Cristian, and Priscilla round out the top - and the YAMAGUNCHINATOR still reigns supreme!

Ok - so thanks to one of you lovely readers I now know the whole scoring situation - and Tom explains it tonight as well. The judges scores count for half the votes - and the voters at home count for the other half. Which I think is great. Much better than American Idol where the judge's votes mean dick. That's how "talent" like Sanjaya gets through. UGH. Anyways, I digress.

Time for the first two couples who are safe!! It's... Kristi and Mark (NO shock there) and Adam and Julianne (SHOCK THERE!). I'm not too surprised - Adam did a good job but I thought the Mormon vote would kill him (see last recap). Kristi is very excited while Adam has that lazy look of "Ahhh fuck, another dance to learn?!!"

Now it's the moment we've been waiting for - KYLIE MINOGUE! And WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER FACE?!?

Ladies and gentlemen, the love child of Belinda Carlisle, Kathy Bates and possibly some asian dude.

Ok - so her body is still smokin' but this is kind of a train wreck. She seems like she's forgetting words - I'm pretty sure she mumbled through a couple lyrics and I think she just dyed Julianne's wig blonde from the night before. At least you can tell she's not lip syncing. Although this may have been a time that it called for it. She's singing in slow motion compared to the beat of the song. The song itself is pretty snooze-worthy too. HOWEVER, her back-up dancers were fantastic. So... yeah for that!

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Posted in Dancing with the Stars by bBitz at 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: weasel dearest on Apr 7, 2008 12:51 PM.