The dance troupe is... different. Honestly I'm not a fan of this type of dance. It's that crap that Mia Michaels does on "So You Think You Can Dance". So - it's "good" but I don't know - it's not what I was hoping for. First Kylie, now this. I love the gospel music though. I just don't get the dancing around with fans. And sometimes they're not in sync which infuriates me. They're passionate though. Gotta give them that. Just passionate about being boring.
Back from commercial and OH FUCK - COME ON! More Kylie! Don't do it sweetie! Run while you still have a career! Oh - but wait! She's singing "Can't Get You Out of My Head" - exciting AND appropriate! She begins and - what's this?! I guess I was wrong before - because NOW she looks like...
The love child of Captain and Tennille!
And I CANNOT get THAT image out of my head! Luckily I have the MANY pitchy and off notes that she hits to help me get everything including my will to live, out of my head. UGH.
BUT THEN SOMETHING AMAAAAZING HAPPENS! Mark and Julianne come out to dance during it and they are FUCKING SUPER! Seriously - best dance I've seen yet this season. They mixed like 6 different styles of dance and they are nailing all the moves. HOWEVER - the god awful producers keep cutting away from them to put Kylie's round face and "DSL" on the screen. GET IT OFF! It's bad enough I have to listen to her butcher her own material!!! UGH! Anyways - their dance kicked Aussie bum:
This sums up the performance - hot dancers with a big hat-wearing jar of Vegemite in the background.
Back to the green room, Useless Samantha is interviewing Cristian and the Gut. Cristian refers to himself as an animal that Cheryl must teach. Oh stop it Christian. We all know you can't be taught. Now shut up and take your shirt off.
And the Gut says that "Anything is possible if you believe." Not if you don't have a) a steady income or b) popular votes!! Your future isn't lookin' too bright friend! He then goes on to compliment the costume designers. Ugh. Give it up. It's like an Oscar acceptance speech stretched out over 3 weeks with this guy.
Tom and Useless Samantha tell us that ABC is now hosting a dance contest online and we should submit videos. Yeah. Sure. Just what I need - some jackass like me commenting on how gay/fat/tragic I look when I dance. Why don't we just have people prank Samantha by asking her if she's pregnant and taping it and send that footage in. Seriously - EVERYONE would watch it. I'd bet she'd snap like a ginger after the 3rd person asked.
Next up - we have a professional matchmaker to piss away more time before they announce who's getting cut. She puts all of the couples through testing and then analyzes the "data". Oh these people and their bullshit tests. She goes over what could cause problems - and of course every couple falls into every category. These couples are the most tragic coupling since white sneakers and KoolAid where combined.
But wait! One of the couples is the perfect match - and it's...
Kristi and Mark! BIG SHOCKER!! No shit lady. Thanks for your help. Here's your $5 - now piss off.
Now it's time to find out the next couple to be saved... Jason and Edyta! Ahhh! The affair continues! And now... Marlee and Fabian are also saved! Good stuff! I concur!
Four couples are left. Tom and Useless Samantha review each couple before announcing 2 more couples that are safe. Christian and Cheryl are safe! Yeah!!! I could make fun of Crisitian all season long! And then of course... Shannon and Derek are also safe! Hoorah!
So now it's between Steve and Mario. Len gives them a both "Cheerio" and such. He's being kind. Scrrrrrew that! And finally... the couple to be kicked off is... STEVE AND ANNA!!!!!! WOW! POOR GUT!!! So kind, so positive - so totally out of a fucking job again!!! Let's hope Lifetime keeps replaying "Three Men and a Baby" Gut-ster! Otherwise - enjoy your garbage sandwiches.
Chaos erupts! Steve just wants to hug his fellow cast mates but Useless Samantha is totally shitting a brick that he needs to come down and cry in front of the camera for good ratings. And she has so many stupid questions to ask!! Poor U.S.!
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Comments (6)
Bbitz you're so funny! Your rant about the April Fool's day nonsense had me literally guffawing.
Thanks for another great recap!
Oh, and now I know where the pics in that last recap were from -- somehow mixed up with the ones here. But I digress; I just wanted to give you recap love!
1 of 6 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 4, 2008 5:18 PM
Love the Kylie comment!
2 of 6 | Posted by jglau78 | Posted on April 4, 2008 5:22 PM
I wanted to keep Gut around because he's so darn entertaining. Shure he doesn't dance all that great but he was getting better. I can't stand Carolla and want him gone.
3 of 6 | Posted by yowala | Posted on April 5, 2008 7:47 AM
Wow. Maybe you should some more research on Alvin Ailey before you knock his dancers. Your comments kind of make you look ignorant. Ahh...but then so do the "chubbers" and "wetback" comments you seem to relish, so I guess your just being consistent. These recaps are really not fun to read.
4 of 6 | Posted by putigger | Posted on April 6, 2008 8:35 PM
Wow. Maybe you should some more research on Alvin Ailey before you knock his dancers. Your comments kind of make you look ignorant. Ahh...but then so do the "chubbers" and "wetback" comments you seem to relish, so I guess you're just being consistent. These recaps are really not fun to read.
5 of 6 | Posted by putigger | Posted on April 6, 2008 8:37 PM
LOOK OUT! Some politically correct person just walked into the room.
They are always so pious and self-important. (I always feel sorry for their families.)
LUV the recap! Don't change a thing!
6 of 6 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on April 7, 2008 12:51 PM