Len loved the natural flow but said it looked "a bit rushed". And he said he took a point off because they did a forbidden "lift"!! OOOH!! When was that?! Forbidden!? I did NOT see anything that interesting! What makes it forbidden?! Did she grab onto his junk while she flew through the air?! I need playback!
Back in the green room, Samantha (she looks great tonight - maybe I'll drop the "Useless"!) tries to start a catfight by asking Priscilla if she's given up trying to beat Kristi. Pri-Pri fires back a "There'll be other nights!" Oh snap! Kristi better start wearing knee-pads - I see where this is going - "Why me?! WHY ME!?"
The scores are shakey - Carrie and Len give 7's while Bruno tries to bring it up with an 8. No more mention of the illustrious "lifts". Can someone explain this crap to me?!?
In the meantime, as Adam and Julianne are introduced they do a little magic trick:
Look! Adam made Julianne AND her pride disappear!
Carrie called Adam sexy last week. Let's see if this week she calls him a "great lay" so we can get that awkward fuck over with. During rehearsal Julianne is trying to teach Adam "passion" and this time - more difficult moves! Oh pleeeease let it be the death spiral! And speaking of awkward - Julianne keeps flirting with Adam. There's just something about this hairy, awkward beast that girls go crazy for. ICK. It's like the smell of Drakkar Noir and desperation drives them wild.
Adam and Julianne begin their Pasa Doble aaaannd WTF?!? Is this a fucking circus or a dance competition??!
See any similarities?!
It's like Penn is back onstage pulling his usual shannigans! That's right - I said it - SHANNANIGANS! Too much spectacle and not enough dancing! Although - this sort of thing might be to Adam's benefit - the "dancing" is atrocious. He's pretty much just walking quickly around the stage while Julianne does all sorts of twirls and shit around him. For the finale she rips off his mask to reveal it's Adam - not a fat Antonio Banderas as expected. HOWEVER - is he wearing a shit ton of make-up or did SOMEONE go tanning?!?
"My name is Adam Carolla - you killed my career - prepare to die!"
Judge time - Carrie sarcastically calls it "creative" and leaves it at that. Uh oh - I smell a "5" coming on! Or maybe the seasons first 4! Len calls him "loveable" but a shitty dancer. True dat. Adam thanks the wardrobe department for dressing him up like a silent porn star. Oh lord. I hope those gays dress him in a bloody clown suit next week.
Time for the scores - 6's from Carrie and Bruno and a 7 from Len! WHAT?!! Come on Len! There was no way that was a 7! You have a thing for Zorro or just men in capes?! Adam responds by saying that he originally wanted to ride an "old person's scooter" around on the dance floor but he rode the unicycle in honor of all the Spaniards who tried to do it on the way to America and drowned. I give Adam a "10" for successfully alienating every voter group possible in the last few weeks. What a dick.
Next up - Marlee! Yeah! She says that she finally wants to beat Kristi for once! And then she winks at the camera! Oh shit! There's gonna be a beat down! I got money on Marlee. I beat it's easier to beat someone when you can't hear them crying "WHY?! PLEASE STOP!! AHH!!"
Fabian starts rehearsal by telling Marlee they have to pretend to love each other. Marlee is SHOCKED that he said "pretend".
Imagine how shocked she'll be when she realizes she's not the only person that interpreter is doing "hand work" for.
Although Marlee calls rehearsal "torture" and she's having dizzy spells - she's all "Read my lips - I want to win!" She's out for blood! She's going from "Children of a Lesser God" to "Children of the Corn"!
Marlee and Fabian start their waltz and it's simple but quite beautiful. My big problem is Fabian is less convincingly in "love" than Marlee is. Although Marlee IS the one that's an actress. They're pretty graceful around the floor and then they end with... (ICK ICK ICK) an AWKWARD almost-kiss on the mouth! I haven't seen a kiss that awkward and forced since Tom Cruise slipped Katie the tongue on Oprah.
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Comments (8)
"Toe pick!" (100 cool points if you can name that movie!)
Is it Cutting Edge??
1 of 8 | Posted by gasmilicous | Posted on April 10, 2008 10:14 AM
100 cool points to "gasmilicous"!!! Gotta love you some DB and Moira!
2 of 8 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on April 10, 2008 10:32 AM
Cristian is still the most sexy. (but he really doesn't have a lot of competition.)
Jason still looks like he should get aboard the mother ship and fly back to mars. I was thinking he should grow his hair out to alleviate the ALIEN look but his hairline starts at the back of his head. Ugh.
I want to like chubbers but sometimes she just appears so needy and desperate.
3 of 8 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on April 10, 2008 1:10 PM
Chubbers reminds me so much of Mary Lou Retton.
Thanks again for the great recap. I was just saying to my SO that it reminded me of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 or something like that. I laughed 'til I cried.
4 of 8 | Posted by squibby | Posted on April 10, 2008 5:42 PM
Um, fun speculation about Edyta and Jason's off-camera relationship (or most likely not) aside... you *are* aware she's married to hottie pro dancer Alec Mazo (winner of the first season of DWTS), right?
Fun recaps, keep up the great work.
5 of 8 | Posted by spacecadet | Posted on April 10, 2008 6:33 PM
Yes it is The Cutting Edge!
6 of 8 | Posted by User Name | Posted on April 11, 2008 8:34 AM
bBitz - great recap! Getting excited for tonight. A couple of things for you...lifts are not allowed on DWTS unless it is a "freestyle" round. In seasons past they have come down hard on anyone that does a lift. In Pri Pri's dance she did one of those lifts where the woman is supposed to drag her foot, but her foot didn't drag so they called it a lift and thus docked her points.
As for the capes...the Paso Doble is supposed to be the dance between the bullfighter and the cape, or something like that, so thus the capes...and the long skirts the women whip around like capes...
7 of 8 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:50 AM
Thanks LLNC92! You need to take Samantha's place! Much more useful!
8 of 8 | Posted by bBitz | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:11 PM