It's elimination time on Dancing with the Stars! It's going to be a fantastic show - James Blunt is performing! You can't see but I just threw my panties at the TV.
Kristi and Jason kicked ass last night. Bruno called Jason a "love God" - so clearly the judges weren't holding any feelings back. It's cute to watch Bruno and Edyta fight for his attention. And Chubbers was dropping it like she was hot! Like a hot tamale! And I'm not just saying that cause she's filled with meat and cheese.
Mario promises if he gets three 10's at some point he'll weep. I will too - for death of the judges' credibility.
Carrie and Bruno argued over whether or not Cristian and Cheryl's rumba was "hot" enough. Cristian and Cheryl complain they can't get "too hot" for network TV. And Cheryl adds that they can't because he's married.
OH CHERYL! Let's not pretend THAT'S not a hill you wouldn't climb!
Marlee had a difficult time with some moves. She totally looked like she was going to cry during the post-interview and my cold little heart almost broke. She even makes fucking up look dignified. Love you Marlee!
Len nailed Shannon (he wishes) for not using enough hip action. She's all worked up about it. Come on Shannon - did you see the playback?! I've never seen a girl misuse a hot body so badly before on the dance floor! It's like it physically hurt you to have rhythm.
Pri-Pri missed a turn and calls it "the worst thing that could ever happen". I would've said my offspring having sex with a creepy child-toucher - but oh well.
Tonight Len decides he'd like to see Kristi and Mark's rumba again. And of course it's friggin' fantastic. I love the part where Mark rips the hair clip off her head and she shakes her hair loose. What a vixen!
Where was she when they filmed "Memoirs of a Geisha"?!? She give 5 dollah bang bang so hard ok?!
Back in the green room, Useless Samantha is interviewing Shannon. She admits she made some mistakes but blames that she's still working on her cardio. UMMM SHANNON - do me a favor. Look over there at Chubbers. You know - MJW. The one that's probably gnawing on a ham bone. Yes her. She kicked your ass last night. Why? She had energy, personality, passion and shook her money-maker. You, on the other hand, danced like a sorority girl at a debutante ball. WATCH CHUBBERS AND LEARN.
Useless Samantha asks Marlee if she'll be frustrated if she goes home tonight. OY. I've said this before but Useless Samantha is TOTALLY that reporter that asks the lady how she feels about her house burning down in front of her. Anyways, Marlee says she'll "strangle Samantha if she leaves!" AMEN SISTER! Unfortunately she's just kidding and says she's proud of herself and knows she tried her best.
Next up, the guest performer - Oza Motley. Either that or some street mariachi band just got let loose on the stage. I actually like them them. It makes me wish I had a basket of chips and a margarita though. Or dos cervezas. And they're singing in Spanish too. Which is fine since I'm sure I won't be able to understand a friggin' word James Blunt sings when he's up. Although I did hear them use the word "belt" in Spanish. I can only hope they're referring to how they'll beat Useless Samantha after their number.
The professional dancers come out and do a hot little number during the song. It's good to see the dancers that got kicked off.
Although Jonathan looks like he gained some weight. He's probably been in a binging depression with Monica Roboto.
Time to announce a "safe" couple - Kristi and Mark (no surprise) and one couple in the bottom 2 - Cristian and Cheryl!!! OUCH! Or "OYE!"
Up next, two new kid couples dance for the "Dancing with the Stars Jr Championship". Otherwise known as "Future Stylists of America". First, we have Demitri and Michelle. They say their secret to success as a dance couple is they never blame each other. Good luck with that after you hit puberty. That little prince is going to turn into a queen and it's gonna be all over from there.
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Comments (2)
Bbitz your recaps crack me up everytime. I'd have to quote the whole thing if I wanted to show you where I laughed. Your captions are the best though. Thanks for writing!
1 of 2 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 29, 2008 8:09 PM
Your recaps are hilarous :) But could we tone down some of the racial stuff a wee bit? Yikes.
Oh and for the record, his hand is EXACTLY where you think it is. let's just hope everyone showers both before and after that move.
2 of 2 | Posted by lawyerjenn | Posted on April 30, 2008 6:39 AM