They're dancing to the song from all those DeBeers diamond commercials. I didn't know this song had a life outside diamond commercials. PS, I love that the YouTube description for this commercial includes when and where this was taped, as well as what the commercial interrupted (Fried Green Tomatoes for those of you who didn't bother to click my awesome link.)
Hey! She's using the move from The Karate Kid!
The dance is as good as we've come to expect from Brooke Burke, if a little silly in its intensity. Seriously, how did she get to be so good without a dance background? The dance ends with Derek handling the hell out of his satin cape. My favorite part of the Paso Doblé - the capes! (And silly faces.)
No dance background my ass. When your partner is a pole, it still counts.
Carrie Ann thought they were good, but off-balance occasionally. I say Carrie Ann's comments are boring and I'm not going to recap them anymore until she starts spouting outlandish gibberish like Len and Bruno. Len thought Brooke controlled her aggression very well, though he thought the beginning and end were silly. Shut up, Len! Some of us like a little showmanship and creativity! That cape waving was the best part! Bruno thinks Brooke was born to dance and talks about her "breath-taking artistry" while still keeping time with the fast-pace of the music.
Tom promises us great performances from a pussycat doll and a Step Up star tomorrow. Are either of those really a draw for anyone? Is anyone going to go, "Oh a pussycat doll will be on tomorrow, I better tune in!? " Also, Jessica Simpson will be there. Blech, go away Jessica Simpson. If I didn't like your pop music, I'm sure as hell not going to respond to your country music!
ProPhotoshop
Brooke and Derek get 8's across the board for a total of 24. Here I have to pause to note Cloris Leachman, whose presence is, again, the best part of the backstage interviews. Cloris. Oh Cloris, what have they done to you? She looks like a cross between Princess Leia and my imagination's idea of William Tell.
The return of Frau Blücher
Up next are Rocco DiSpirito and Karina doing the Rumba. Things are not going too well in rehearsal because apparently Rocco's version of romance is making you risotto and then squeezing you to death. In other news, the inside of Rocco's house looks AMAAAAZING. I would bear a little squeezing-to-death for a chance to live in that house. Call me, Rocco!
First boybander to land on Rocco's moon.
Since Rocco feels most comfortable in the kitchen he's wearing an apron at the start of this routine. If that was a ploy to make him look less ridiculous, it failed horribly. He's still stiff as a board while dancing. For someone who's all "Italian" and "passionate," he's really uptight.
That was ready in five minutes! Yay microwaves!
Bruno says Rocco's stallion has run out of juice. Sorry, this is my first season watching this show so I have to ask. How self-aware is Bruno? Does he know how ridiculous he sounds? Bruno was looking for "the throbbing, pulsating Latin lover" and I am officially grossed out by his commentary. The rest of the judges say more of the same - Karina choreographed a nice dance, but Rocco didn't fulfill her vision. Rocco blows.
At least Lance hopes he does.
After the commercials we get their scores - Carrie Ann - 5, Len - 6, Bruno - 5, for a total of 16. Rocco says 16 was his favorite age, so he's happy. That is sad.
Up next are Lance and Lacey. While they danced well last week, Len did not like their newfangled choreography. Will they take Len's advice? Obvi no, since Lacey just loves her emo, and they "don't want to lose [themselves] as performers." They think the only way to win Len over will be to do the dance perfectly.
OMG, they're doing a Paso Doblé to "I Kissed a Girl." LOL on so many levels. Lacey is continuing to prove my fears about her style true, with her hideous pink and red dress. Nice color story. Not. And don't get me started on the pink hair. Ew, they make out at the end. Seriously, Lacey, he's gay. Get over him and stop making him kiss you.
Do I smell like frozen pasta? Tell me the truth.
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Comments (4)
I love that cloris leachman was the whore grandma on Beerfest. they should give her a sausage to prep for the boys.
1 of 4 | Posted by smaile | Posted on October 3, 2008 12:10 AM
I flew to Iowa this summer to see my parents. I flew out of Burbank. Tom Bergeron was flying someplace that day too and stood right next to me while he waited for his flight. Only one person, a guy in a wheelchair, said anything to Tom but everyone in that airport had their cell phones out discreetly taking pictures of Tom.
I like Jessica Simpsons' "Come on Over."
Someone needs to have Cloris Leachman's perscriptions filled. I want to laugh at Cloris but the part of me still from Iowa knows it would be wrong. I find her amusing but I suspect she's suffering from some sort of dementia. To want to stay on a reality show SO BADLY seems really sad to me.
2 of 4 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on October 3, 2008 7:56 AM
KrankMills, thanks for helping those of us unable to watch this show keep up, I still haven't quite figured out how it all works, but you are like a Hooked-On-Phonics CD, helping me through it (call 1-800-ABCDEFG!). I think there are just so many people it's kinda confusing me, between the dancers, the "celebrities", the judges, the hosts, the choreographers, Cloris' boobs, Kim Kardashian's ass' and Lance Bass' great-gawsh-a-mighty-wide-ass-eyes... there are just so many characters, it's like a friggin' Kentucky Family Reunion.
As far as Halloween costumes, I'd say put blue spray-paint in a diarrhea pattern down the center of your hair, refer to yourself in the third-person and talk to your dead relatives in the sky a lot and you can go as Suede/Pleather...
...and Flipit, I say you just put on a pair of tighty-whiteys, go as Baby New Year and hustle your hot ass on over to my place... *grin* :)
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. BTW, Hedda Lettuce is way more talented than all 5,943 Pussycat Dolls... you should hear her hit country song "Jesus Take The Wheel Cuz I'm Too Drunk To Drive"...
3 of 4 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 3, 2008 8:37 AM
Nice use of the word "Slatterns!" Now then, here's my totally clueless prediction. Cloris shakes off her comic "ruse" and reveals that she is the grand daughter of a master Ballroom dancer. Her innate talent powers her through to a showdown with Brooke, which Cloris loses in a squeaker after a contested recount that pits the AARP against a small but highly motivated group of adolescent boy voters.
4 of 4 | Posted by TVFanNYC | Posted on October 3, 2008 10:06 AM