Len doesn't wait to be asked for his thoughts on their performance. He does NOT like Lacey's choreography and warns "his little sausage" [WTF?] that he knows her game and she can't just stick in a few traditional moves and disregard his comments for the rest of the routine. Uh oh, Grandpa's mad. Bruno thought it thrilling, but wanted the style to be more consistent with the Paso Doble.
Alright you two that's enough.
Backstage we learn that Lance and Lacey didn't choose the song, but were given "I Kissed a Girl." Okay, it was funny, producers, but how the hell was Lacey of all people supposed to choreograph a traditional Paso Doble to that? It's like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. Judges scores: Carrie Ann - 7, Len - 6, Bruno - 7, for a total of 20.
Next up: Kim Kardashian and Mark doing the Rumba. Tom Bergeron introduces them by saying that though the judges haven't liked her dancing, all the males on set appreciated her performance because I don't know if you've heard, but Kim Kardashian has a nice ass and lots of men like to look at it.
Kim is awkward and keeps laughing in rehearsals when she's supposed to be sexy. Mark asks her about her the time she danced with the pussycat dolls, and oh yeah, shouldn't she know how to be sexy? Oh, excuse me Kim hosted, whatever that means. Right, because she has no discernable talent other than looking pretty and speaking coherently. They go back to the pussycat dolls to give Kim advice on how to be sexy. God, she is famous for having a big ass and a sex tape, how does she not know how to be sexy?
Yikes. If this is sexy, keep what you've got, Kim. This girl looks like the end of a burnt match.
So did this week's field trip help Kim? Um, no. She's just as stiff as ever. Poor Mark, he's doing his best to draw attention away from her, but he has to know this will be one of his last dances this season. I will say, her outfit is surprisingly demure and classy considering she's, you know, Kim Kardashian.
Wow, the sit on the lap move. Way to stretch it.
Bruno says Kim was dead and "more cold and distant than Siberia." Carrie Ann did not like that effort and recommends Kim go back and watch herself on tape. Just for that, she's back in the recap. LOL. Seriously Kim, you have a sex tape. We know you are at least a little uninhibited! The scores for Kim and Mark - Carrie Ann - 6, Len - 6, Bruno - 5, for a total of 17. Kim's lowest scores yet. Sad trombone.
Although to be fair, she looks like a security guard on Rosie's gay cruise compared to this guy. That couldn't have helped.
Ugh, how are we only halfway through this episode? Misty May-Treanor and Maks doing the Paso Doble are next. Apparently it will be INTENSE as evidenced by the fact that they are dressed from head-to-toe in black pleather. Stella from this seasons Project Runway would be so proud.
And the creepiest pic of the evening goes to...
While the judges have warned Misty after past performances that she's attacking too much, she explains that as a [fricken' Olympic-level] athlete, she doesn't know another way but to attack all the time. In rehearsals, Misty attacks the dance with her usual zeal, but perhaps too much, as she keeps tripping. Maks is unamused and scolds her until she says she wants to cry. But note she doesn't actually cry. Talk about control! Goddamn Olympians.
And I ... felt ... nothing....
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Comments (4)
I love that cloris leachman was the whore grandma on Beerfest. they should give her a sausage to prep for the boys.
1 of 4 | Posted by smaile | Posted on October 3, 2008 12:10 AM
I flew to Iowa this summer to see my parents. I flew out of Burbank. Tom Bergeron was flying someplace that day too and stood right next to me while he waited for his flight. Only one person, a guy in a wheelchair, said anything to Tom but everyone in that airport had their cell phones out discreetly taking pictures of Tom.
I like Jessica Simpsons' "Come on Over."
Someone needs to have Cloris Leachman's perscriptions filled. I want to laugh at Cloris but the part of me still from Iowa knows it would be wrong. I find her amusing but I suspect she's suffering from some sort of dementia. To want to stay on a reality show SO BADLY seems really sad to me.
2 of 4 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on October 3, 2008 7:56 AM
KrankMills, thanks for helping those of us unable to watch this show keep up, I still haven't quite figured out how it all works, but you are like a Hooked-On-Phonics CD, helping me through it (call 1-800-ABCDEFG!). I think there are just so many people it's kinda confusing me, between the dancers, the "celebrities", the judges, the hosts, the choreographers, Cloris' boobs, Kim Kardashian's ass' and Lance Bass' great-gawsh-a-mighty-wide-ass-eyes... there are just so many characters, it's like a friggin' Kentucky Family Reunion.
As far as Halloween costumes, I'd say put blue spray-paint in a diarrhea pattern down the center of your hair, refer to yourself in the third-person and talk to your dead relatives in the sky a lot and you can go as Suede/Pleather...
...and Flipit, I say you just put on a pair of tighty-whiteys, go as Baby New Year and hustle your hot ass on over to my place... *grin* :)
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. BTW, Hedda Lettuce is way more talented than all 5,943 Pussycat Dolls... you should hear her hit country song "Jesus Take The Wheel Cuz I'm Too Drunk To Drive"...
3 of 4 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 3, 2008 8:37 AM
Nice use of the word "Slatterns!" Now then, here's my totally clueless prediction. Cloris shakes off her comic "ruse" and reveals that she is the grand daughter of a master Ballroom dancer. Her innate talent powers her through to a showdown with Brooke, which Cloris loses in a squeaker after a contested recount that pits the AARP against a small but highly motivated group of adolescent boy voters.
4 of 4 | Posted by TVFanNYC | Posted on October 3, 2008 10:06 AM