Aside from Misty's tendency to hunchback, this dance is really well done. I mean, she's still not the most graceful dancer, but she gets her job done. Carrie Ann admires Misty's commitment, especially considering the difficulty of Maks' choreography. Bruno bursts in with "Is mighty Xena the warrior princess!" Normally I think he's talking nonsense, but the description is apt here. He goes on to critique her lack of "light and shade" - while she's good at the aggressive parts, she lacks the finesse that makes it dance. Len thought it was well done, but wants to see more eye contact between the two of them. Misty does tend to stare intensely at the audience. At this point, it's a game to see how many times I can use the word "intense" in one recap, as that seems to be the word of the day here on DWTS. The judges give them 7's across the board for a total of 21.
The men on this show need to stop with those brows. Days of Our Lives trademarked that shit.
Up next are Maurice Green and Cheryl doing the Rumba. While Maurice embraced the sexy character right away in rehearsal, she thinks his hips need work. So she wastes rehearsal time by bringing him to a belly-dancing show. He loves it and by the end of their field trip, he's got the hip movements down.
All it took was a hand job.
NICE WIG Cheryl. She looks pretty and all, but why is the long hair necessary? I mean, we all saw her last week. We all know that's not her real hair - what's the point? Their performance is clean, but I'm not seeing a ton of hip action from either of them. All that build-up for nothing!
Skip the half split and bring back the belly dancers. The man can only work with a boner.
Len was disappointed by the lack of hip movement. Me too, after all that talk! He said it wasn't bad, but lacked finesse. Bruno thought Maurice was rough and clunky, when "a guy like [him]" should know what to do with a woman like Cheryl. Is that what men are supposed to do with women? Swivel their hips at them? Ah, ballroom. Scores: Carrie Ann - 7, Len - 6, Bruno - 6, for a total of 19.
Call me daddy, bitch!
Next up is everyone's favorite dance train wreck, Cloris Leachman. As yet, Cloris hasn't been doing much dancing, instead opting to ham it up with the judges. Unfortch for Cloris, this isn't a comedy competition, and their scores have remained at the bottom of the pack. Corky is laying down the law, saying she has to focus this week and actually try to dance, instead of covering up her horrible performances with outlandish behavior. As much as I LOVE Cloris' antics, I have to agree, I'd like to see her actually try to dance.
I'm doing this with my Meemaw at the next family wedding.
Cloris and Corky are doing the Paso Doblé, like I said, dressed as William Tell, but curiously, dancing to Ravel's Bolero. I think this is their best performance yet, but that's mostly due to Corky's awesome cape work. Cloris looks slightly more in control of herself this week. I also think that as the music was more serious, there wasn't room for Cloris to play.
All he did was throw her on the ground like ten times! Get this woman a medic!
Cloris begs the judges to be nice to her. Bruno compares her to Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard - oh, you mean she's a film star largely forgotten by audiences of the day? Nice "compliment," Bruno.
You're about to be like the guy who was dead in the pool.
Cloris' scores: Carrie Ann - 5, Len - 5, Bruno - 5, for a total of 15. Cloris continues to humiliate Useless backstage, pointing out that the judges scores are totaled for Useless. I have to give Useless credit for holding her own with Cloris' hamming. Cloris vows to come back next week, even if she gets voted off. Yeah, I'd like to see them try to stop her. Honestly, that would make a great show.
Did that whore just call me witless? Get me my purse. And a bat. And a lighter.
Susan Lucci is going bicoastal for this show, since her real job is based out of New York. Question - why does the Looch put glitter dust on her chest for the interviews? Is she actually secretly me at 13 in 1996 when body glitter was cool?
Now for a game of eating Miley's lunch.
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Comments (4)
I love that cloris leachman was the whore grandma on Beerfest. they should give her a sausage to prep for the boys.
1 of 4 | Posted by smaile | Posted on October 3, 2008 12:10 AM
I flew to Iowa this summer to see my parents. I flew out of Burbank. Tom Bergeron was flying someplace that day too and stood right next to me while he waited for his flight. Only one person, a guy in a wheelchair, said anything to Tom but everyone in that airport had their cell phones out discreetly taking pictures of Tom.
I like Jessica Simpsons' "Come on Over."
Someone needs to have Cloris Leachman's perscriptions filled. I want to laugh at Cloris but the part of me still from Iowa knows it would be wrong. I find her amusing but I suspect she's suffering from some sort of dementia. To want to stay on a reality show SO BADLY seems really sad to me.
2 of 4 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on October 3, 2008 7:56 AM
KrankMills, thanks for helping those of us unable to watch this show keep up, I still haven't quite figured out how it all works, but you are like a Hooked-On-Phonics CD, helping me through it (call 1-800-ABCDEFG!). I think there are just so many people it's kinda confusing me, between the dancers, the "celebrities", the judges, the hosts, the choreographers, Cloris' boobs, Kim Kardashian's ass' and Lance Bass' great-gawsh-a-mighty-wide-ass-eyes... there are just so many characters, it's like a friggin' Kentucky Family Reunion.
As far as Halloween costumes, I'd say put blue spray-paint in a diarrhea pattern down the center of your hair, refer to yourself in the third-person and talk to your dead relatives in the sky a lot and you can go as Suede/Pleather...
...and Flipit, I say you just put on a pair of tighty-whiteys, go as Baby New Year and hustle your hot ass on over to my place... *grin* :)
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. BTW, Hedda Lettuce is way more talented than all 5,943 Pussycat Dolls... you should hear her hit country song "Jesus Take The Wheel Cuz I'm Too Drunk To Drive"...
3 of 4 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 3, 2008 8:37 AM
Nice use of the word "Slatterns!" Now then, here's my totally clueless prediction. Cloris shakes off her comic "ruse" and reveals that she is the grand daughter of a master Ballroom dancer. Her innate talent powers her through to a showdown with Brooke, which Cloris loses in a squeaker after a contested recount that pits the AARP against a small but highly motivated group of adolescent boy voters.
4 of 4 | Posted by TVFanNYC | Posted on October 3, 2008 10:06 AM