It's week three, which I can hardly believe. It feels like I've been recapping this show FOREVER. Anyways, everyone with internet access and a remote interest in pop culture has heard by now that Misty May-Traenor suffered an injury to her ankle over the weekend. But if you haven't heard, don't worry, Tom Bergeron is going to drive that fact into your skull over and over again tonight, complete with slooo-moooo action. I, for one, was terrified that they were going to bring Kim Kardashian back to make the timing work out, but no there's no bedonkedonk in site, so I think we're safe.
A giant glowing ass doesn't get you too far these days.
****Welcome to another recap written by Krank with pics and a pic recap of the results by Flipit! Enjoy.
OMG did you guys hear about Misty?
Susan Lucci is up first and she's dancing the jive. Looks like the stars are getting snippier this episode. These poor pros have to deal with all these D-list egos. I feel bad for them. Susan Lucci is having trouble with her extension, so naturally they tak a field trip to Radio City Music Hall to see the Rockettes. Oooo! The Rockettes are in their Christmas Spectacularrrr outfits. Standing next to Rockettes really highlights Susan's frailty. And shortness.
Those outfits need the right lighting to work.
She's dancing to the old school version of "Why do fools fall in love?" She looks unsure and tentative as usual. No evidence of extension. Her dress is actually not an eyesore and one would think she should get points off for that. She acts the dainty part well, probably because of her osteoporosis. Someone call Sally Field, stat.
Len says she's been consistent. Consistently snooze-worthy. Bruno liked the look, but thought she looked unsteady. Carrie Ann didn't notice her injury, but still thought she looked timid. Len and Susan flirt and I'm grossed out.
Keep your tingly nuts to yourself, please.
Useless' hair is incredibly distracting. Is she at her prom in New Jersey in 1988? Lucci gets straight 7's for a total of 21, which I AGAIN think is generous for Susan Lucci.
Lance and Lacey are doing the Viennese Waltz. There's a video montage of Len's harsh old-man criticism. In an effort to appease Len, Lance and Lacey are trying to go to an old folks home to gauge how traditional their Waltz is. One old lady thinks she could have done it better. I love that lady's moxie. Another old lady wonders where Cloris Leachman is. Seriously, the elderly are keeping Cloris in this thing. You know how old people love voting.
Other things I'm better at: eating food through straws, pooping my pants, drooling on my shoulder, and oral.
Watching their actual performance I definitely think they benefited from the modern style because this is SO boring. My favorite move was the one where it looked like they were choking each other across the floor.
Lance: I hate you for not dressing like a whore!
Lacy: I hate you for giving up on the donut shop!
They get a standing ovation and Lance gets all emotional. Bruno thinks the "cast of cocoon will be happy here." HAHAHA. He thought they lacked the freedom they have when they "are themselves" (aka, emo and shit,) but thought this dance was heavy. Carrie Ann thought it fabulous. Len calls them flatfooted and poor postured, but concedes it was their best dance yet. Why does he hate them so?
Tom entices us to tune in tomorrow because Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson will be there. Wait, I thought she had to give that back after her horrible performance in Sex and the City. Seriously, the audience at the movie theater I saw it with laughed out loud at the "St. Louise/Louis Vuitton" earnest exchange.
Lance and Lacey get 8-7-7 for a total of 22. Lance is soooo happy to have finally gotten a 7 from Len. Yeah, yeah, he hates you. Stop playing the victim, Sarah Palin.
But...I learned all the states! Why didn't Katie ask me about that?
We are treated to more footage from Misty's injury and Tom says we'll talk to her for the first time since her accident. You haven't even called to wish her well, Tom? What an asshole. I'm glad you lost that Emmy.
Commercial commentary - what 3 year old needs a portable DVD player? Or digital camera. People, I don't even have a digital camera. Also, is it weird I want to go to Walking with Dinosaurs?" Oh wait, that's what we call the segments with Susan Lucci and Cloris Leachman. Rimshot!
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Comments (7)
Why couldn't they get an old person who could at least dance a few steps? It's kind of embarrassing to see poor Cloris out there just walking around, although I admire her spirit.
They had an article in the local paper today about an 85 year old man who still swing dances! Not only that, but they have a picture of him LIFTING a woman--and sometimes he dances with TWO women. Now, that's a real man in my book.
He started in the Army and used to dance at the old Savoy ballroom. I'm sure that there aren't many like him, but there must be an 80 year old celeb who can fox trot or something.
1 of 7 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 9, 2008 8:04 PM
Did anyone else catch the part on the performance show where Cloris was babbling to the judges about how she just wanted 1's? I don't know if she meant she wanted a 10 - delusional much? - or whether she wanted to be scored with 1's so she could just go home or WTF that was about.
2 of 7 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on October 10, 2008 5:06 AM
Haven't watched in years - but from the recaps (and comments) sounds like Cloris is the main attraction this season.
Love the recaps!
3 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 10, 2008 10:25 AM
Cloris has to be getting all the old people votes because she is getting dissed big time on all these message boards. Cloris may be funny yet annoying, but I feel bad for these people who are actually trying to improve and getting kicked off while she who isn't dancing at all is still staying on.
Warren is my favorite too, I hope he wins although I know Brooke is going to win, I hope he gets second place thought.
4 of 7 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on October 10, 2008 4:13 PM
I couldn't believe how many times they reminded us about Misty's injury.
We get it all ready! We got it the first time.
Also, am I the only one that gets irritated by Cloris??? I don't think she's funny.
5 of 7 | Posted by blane | Posted on October 10, 2008 5:03 PM
I think Cloris is making old people look bad, personally.
I read on AOL that Tara Reid wants to be on DWTS, but they don't think she is "family-oriented" enough. What about Corky and Cloris doing all that dry-humping every week? Doesn't really seem appropriate. Of course, that is Corky's idea, I'm assuming, to distract from the lack of actual dancing.
6 of 7 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:12 AM
cloris is fucking hilarious.
7 of 7 | Posted by gitgo | Posted on October 11, 2008 9:39 PM