The Gay Twink Bachelor contestants come out and do a dance that involves acting butch while they do their best to show off their waxed chests as many times as possible. Flamenco. Sweet! This is actually a great number.

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Especially this part. You're welcome.

Then they get cut off mid dance for more recap clips! Booooo! Right when the pants were about to come off. Seriously, producers. FAIL.

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This is just unfair.


Backstage, someone tells Lance that Britney had a comeback this week.

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I never stopped believing, Brit!


Susan and Tony are the first safe couple, and they are followed by Lance and Lacy. The first couple in the bottom two is Rocco and Karina. Oh Rocco, you need the woman vote. That shirt was just wrong. It did you in.

Next, the editors make fun of Brooke.

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Next up is the kids ballroom competition. Something tells me this kid won't be in it.

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Back from break, another political attack ad against Maurice, who laughs too much. I hope Useless gets one of these that shows her getting coke cans thrown at her head with the slogan "We Need to Stop Useless Spending...Er...Spending on Useless."

Time for the kids comp!! OK the kids are adorable. The first pair have known each other all their lives and are kinda in love. They do the chacha and kick ass.

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I want one!


Len was offended by the little girl's boobies, Bruno says she's hotter than Jessica Alba, and Carrie Anne calls the girl, who designed her own outfit, Fierce. I agree. This kid could have won Project Runway this season. Sorry. I can't let it go.

The next couple is just as adorable. The girl starts with a Cloris impression, and the boy pretends he's Bruno and plugs his nose.

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The boy is obsessed with dancing...and hockey. Did I mention they're from Staten Island?

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He's so getting his ass kicked in high school.


They do a great job, but only get a half a standing ovation. Adults are ass bags sometimes.

200810182005
So that's what they're calling it these days.

The Staten Islanders win and beg not to be sent back to Staten Island. Sorry, suckas!

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And then a slapping fight ensues. No one wins when four kids are all bloody, k?


Next, Neo sings for us. ChickBomb insists her friend is dating him. JMo insists he's a mo. I can't tell and don't care.

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I like him either way because he is an advocate for junk in the trunk. Long live Neo!

Next, Toni talks about politics, and I think she's got this election down.

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The next dirty political ad is about what a nasty whore Susan Lucci is.

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And that's why we love you. Got my vote.

Brooke and Derick are the next safe couple. They are followed by Cody and Julianne, Toni and Alec, and Warren and Kim. Maurice and Cheryl are safe too, leaving Cloris and Corky are in the bottom two. Then Cloris faints.

The next political ad is against Warren, who is accused of wearing a fat suit.

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Randy Jackson!

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Never mind. I don't want one after all.

Corky dry humps Cloris as they wait for results, and I feel like spewing up whatever the above baby is eating.

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And.......vomit.


Rocco's out! AWWWW! He asks Bruno to show him how to move his hips before he goes. Just when I thought nothing could top Corky dry humping Cloris. I am officially not hungry. Thanks, DWTS!

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We'll see you next week!

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Comments (3)

jenday23:

I think the whole dead eyes, jerky movement deal was because Lance and Lacey were supposed to be dolls or something like that...

chooch850:

You are soooo right! Susan Lucci can't dance! I just don't understand why these judges fawn all over her, especially Len. It must be because she's the oldest living soap opera star on ABC,

cattyfan:

"In the middle of the number they will find out he's her son."

LOL A soap script reference! Love it!

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