I love that on this show, the previouslies are made to look like Olde Timey footage. Did you know last week was actually 1932? Anways, last week in 1932, Rocco was eliminated while Cloris somehow managed to hang on for another week.
And then Brooke went all Sylar on our asses and exploded like a nuclear bomb.
***As usual, Krank is covering the recap while Flipit does the screengrabs, captions and the results! Enjoy!
This week, back in 2008, the couples will be dancing four new dances. It's taken them seven seasons to add new dances to the mix? Said dances are: the Hustle, the Jitterbug, Salsa, and West Coast Swing (one of which will be performed by Lacey, OF COURSE, because she is utterly predictable.) Does the Schwimmer family get royalties from performances of West Coast Swing? Why do they push it so hard everywhere they go?
We were on a break!
It looks like these new styles cause some tension in rehearsal, so let's get to it, shall we? Useless Samantha needs to start wearing dresses with sleeves because her shoulder bone could poke out my eye THROUGH THE TV. Seriously, girl, SANDWICH. WITH MAYO.
Her day job is as a model for anatomy class.
The two couples doing the jitterbug (that's my guess based on their 1950's costumes and unoriginality on the part of the costume designers on this show) look utterly ridiculous. I mean, Brooke Burke is in pigtails! Put her in pigtails all you want, but I don't think anyone is going to buy that she is an innocent teenager at this point in her career. And by career I mean fake boobs. I do enjoy Kym Johnson's Ode to Disco Style combo of Farah Fawcett hair AND Xanadu headband, though fringed legwarmers should be an actual crime punishable with jail time. My eyes!
Teehee! I'm just a girl! With a really killer doctor.
We are half way through the season so Tom promises more crankiness from the judges. Yessssssss. Useless Samantha reminds us that there will be four new dances tonight, because she is that useless. Since there are eight pairs left, and four dances, we will see each dance twice, back to back, head to head.
The best part of this episode is when Len describes all the different styles and they pan over to the dancers and Derek has this look on his face like he understands Len even less than I do. I thought he would be clearer in person. Go figure.
I can't believe they forced this hair on me.
Up first are Lance and Lacey. Last week his tango earned him his highest scores yet, so he feels redeemed from all those years he was known as "The Worst Dancer in *NSync." Yeah great improvement. Now he's known as "The Second Guy from *NSync to Be on Dancing With the Stars" ('Cause you know he ain't winning this shit.) Ok, yeah, the Schwimmer family totally has money in the West Coast Swing. OF COURSE, this week they're taking a field trip to visit Lacey's dad, who brought West Coast Swing into the ballroom world.
Right before he ate it.
In performance, Lance and Lacey look the most normal they have looked all season. The performance is kind of slow, considering this is supposed to be about down and dirty and swinging. Lance is the squarest swing dancer I've ever seen. In the little parts where they groove on their own, he looks like a total nerd. Let go, Lance! Oops, they do a slide move across the floor and he falls. Ok, pull it back, Lance! They do a few cool moves, but it's actually just Lacey doing cool things while Lance stands around in the background.
At least he's got his brows.
Len's criticism is right on point when he tells Lacey she needs to pull back a little on her (admittedly awesome) talent and show Lance off more. Bruno agrees and reminds Lacey that it's "Dancing With the Stars," not "Dancing Around the Stars." They all think Lance showed his talent last week, so he needs to trust that and Lacey does too. Scores: 7, 7, 7, for a total of 21.
Up next, also doing the West Coast Swing is Toni Braxton. Last week she did a respectable job, but not great. Toni wants to get a higher score for once, so they're working their butts off this week. Especially on her posture.
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Comments (5)
Still not watching... but love reading your recaps.
Sounds like Cloris is to this show what Sanjaya was to American Idol (is there a webb site called vote4theoldest.com?)
1 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:32 AM
The best part of the re-cap show that aired before the results show was that they were able to repeat the performances, judges comments, and scores all in under an hour. What was missing? The backstage interviews, which just reiterated how useless Useless is.
2 of 5 | Posted by leenie | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:37 AM
Oh and also, I hate how they judge Cloris against herself instead of against the other dancers, it's annoying me to no end. I take this show wayyyy to seriously.
3 of 5 | Posted by leenie | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:56 PM
this show blows w/o Maks.
and Cheryl Burke saying she only gained 5 lbs is like Kim (real housewife atlanta) saying she is only 29.
4 of 5 | Posted by gitgo | Posted on October 25, 2008 7:33 PM
hahahaha omg this recap made me laugh so hard i peed.
awesome guys, way too awesome.
5 of 5 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 28, 2008 9:16 AM