Mitchell and Maria win! And now, for the biggest number ever produced in HISTORY. EVER. First let's meet the choreographers, who I suspect have a hard time being taken seriously by the world at large and don't quite know why.
Tone? Your table's ready. Tone?
They've worked with all the great pop stars of our time and now get to sink their teeth into...Dancing With the Stars. Well done, you two. Well done. Rich can't talk too good, but I love his fedora. They explain that the dance will be a trip through the decades, and the lighting director tells us that it took over six months and two hundred people to make this number happen. Oh for chrissakes just do it. Everyone involved with the show ever gets a segment.
The Gaysian
The valets.
The lunch lady.
Finally, it's time! They start with tap dancing and it's pretty badass. James Brown's jerky soul jive is next, followed by breaking.
Where my keys at?
Now Rich, Tone, why would you make that poor man end with his head up the other one's butt? WRONG.
Now for a tribute to terrorism.
Dropped the soap.
Wait. That's it? That was like two and a half minutes. The explanation about the number was twice as long as that! Well, alright then. I say bring Mitchell and Maria back. THE BIGGEST NUMBER EVER (sad horns) is followed by a promo that's us watching the stars film a promo where the stars all start threatening each other.
I'm gonna kick your ass old lady.
That was uncalled for, Twinkie.
He meant me. Little bastard.
The bottom two couples are Toni and Alex and Susan and Tony. Ouch. Toni tries to smile, but can't stop blinking. Susan doesn't bother trying to fake a smile, and that's why I love her.
If I lose, you're all fired.
Toni's out!! Useless tries to make her cry, but Toni refuses and says that she's gonna go out and have a malt, fries, and a triple cheeseburger. Good for her. I think I will too. xo
« Real Housewives of Atlanta: The Big Boned Kid | Main | Ultimate Fighter: I've Seen Better Fights in Macy's »
Comments (5)
Still not watching... but love reading your recaps.
Sounds like Cloris is to this show what Sanjaya was to American Idol (is there a webb site called vote4theoldest.com?)
1 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:32 AM
The best part of the re-cap show that aired before the results show was that they were able to repeat the performances, judges comments, and scores all in under an hour. What was missing? The backstage interviews, which just reiterated how useless Useless is.
2 of 5 | Posted by leenie | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:37 AM
Oh and also, I hate how they judge Cloris against herself instead of against the other dancers, it's annoying me to no end. I take this show wayyyy to seriously.
3 of 5 | Posted by leenie | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:56 PM
this show blows w/o Maks.
and Cheryl Burke saying she only gained 5 lbs is like Kim (real housewife atlanta) saying she is only 29.
4 of 5 | Posted by gitgo | Posted on October 25, 2008 7:33 PM
hahahaha omg this recap made me laugh so hard i peed.
awesome guys, way too awesome.
5 of 5 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 28, 2008 9:16 AM