Last week Toni Braxton was eliminated. Tom Bergeron claims that it's a reminder that one bad dance can mean the end, but I think it serves as a reminder that America is stupid and despite what I read on HowIsObamaDoing.com, I will remain anxious until next Wednesday. I mean, I understand Cloris Leachman's entertainment appeal, but Susan Lucci is just plain bad at dancing and she's not even funny! Come on, America!
For the record, Flipit did not write the above paragraph. Love you Cloris! And keep your grubby hands off my quarter of a million a year, Obie!
***As usual, Krank is on recap duty and Flipit is doing pics, captions, and the pic recap of the results! Enjoy!
This week, we are finally going to get to see this hip-hop group routine. Uggh, no. God, the pros could barely handle the Lindy Hop. This hip-hop routine is going to be a disaster.
Hey, who's that placeholder old man? Will I be able to understand the words coming out of his mouth? Let's get this show started so I can find out. OMG I didn't recognize him, but it's the Lord of the Dance himself, Michael Flatley, heretofore known as TLOTD. And he's holding hands with Bruno! This is going to be ridiculous! I tried to find an especially preposterous clip from the Lord of the Dance, but really, they're all comedic gold. Especially this one, to cool jazz.
Did you know his shows have grossed over $1 billion, world wide? That fact kind of makes me want to kill myself. That billion dollars has earned him the title of The Most Successful Dancer Ever. Artful? That's another question.
First up tonight is Maurice Greene, who did well last week despite some contentious rehearsal time. This week, they've got another boring ballroom dance - the Viennese Waltz. Last time they had a boring style (week 1 - Fox Trot), they got a score of 18, so they're nervous about pulling this one off. Cheryl wears the same thing in rehearsal week after week. I wonder if it's starting to smell.
Yikes. Put your arm down.
In performance, Maurice Greene looks completely hairless. It's freaking me out, man. Makeup people, I know he wants to look smooth, but I don't think that's what he meant. Maurice doesn't look like he's having as much fun as last week, but they flow and the dance is lovely. My favorite part was when he dragged her across the floor by her hair. That's what the Viennese Waltz is all about, right?
Your tea's ready.
As we turn to the judges, Tom Bergeron is bummed that he can't do old-guy jokes tonight. Me too, Tom. Me too. TLOTD was amazed to see the fastest man in the world do a slow and elegant dance. Are we amazed to see you with a shirt on? No! Stop pigeonholing people, TLOTD! Carrie Ann thought the dance sweet and especially noticed his improved posture, but thinks the pair lack chemistry. Bruno tells Maurice that the dance calls for "the sweep and the grace" like a surfer on the crest of the wave, but thought Maurice looked like a surfer on dry land. This is actually kind of an apt analogy as he continues that the moves were there, but they weren't linked correctly. Scores for Maurice: 7, 7, 7, for a total of 21. Well that's better than 18!
Next up, are Lance and Lacey. In previous weeks they had been much improved and even made it to the top of the scoreboard once, but last week, they literally fell to the bottom. This week L&L are rehearsing in Florida, where *NSync used to rehearse and the pair sit on a porch swing and have a therapy session about how Lance still can't get over the fact that he was the worst dancer in *NSync. Inspirational music plays in the background as Lacey pretends to listen, but we all know she's just thinking about what color her hair extensions will be this week. In rehearsal, the pair are paid a very special visit by Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick. Joey gives him some dancing advice, and Lance is reassured by the "man to man" session. I bet! Cause he's gay! Get it? And seriously? Lance was worse than Chris? I'm pretty sure Chris was the worst at everything in *NSync, but most of all at hair.
Don't be surprised if Lacy asks you to borrow this do tonight. She's running out of ideas.
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Comments (8)
Good recap, Krank, and I thank you for recapping this crappola. But hey, none of your links worked for me. Not one. Not even the one to a TVGasm area about Smiley Face. Are you just messin' with me?
1 of 8 | Posted by zbird | Posted on November 2, 2008 7:30 AM
Did anyone notice that beside Anna Faris in that photo are Jeff Lewis and Jenny from "Flipping Out"?
2 of 8 | Posted by Deborah Jaqua | Posted on November 2, 2008 7:54 AM
I am a co-Looch hater!!! She is just awful. She wandered around that stage in the hip-hop routine, totally clueless, but they all did didn't they. Definitely not a good choice for the group dance. Those "PussyCat Dolls" looked like they were taking a dump on stage. Is that a new move?
I enjoyed Cloris' outrageous behavior as much as everyone else, but I'm glad she's finally gone. I was afraid we'd see her die on LIVE TV.
Loved the recap & the pics!
3 of 8 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on November 2, 2008 9:08 AM
The reason Susan Lucci is still around is the same reason Kelly Monaco won in season 1. She is a huge star for ABC daytime. I would guess this week or next will be her final week. There was probably some deal made with "The Powers That Be" she had to stick around at least until the 2-dance-a-week portion. I am sure she is a nice lady and great soap star but she doesn't bring much to the dance floor. At least Cloris was entertaining.
I am enjoying the recaps this seaason-thanks.
4 of 8 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on November 2, 2008 1:43 PM
The problem with Lucci is that she has NO RHYTHM!!!
5 of 8 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on November 3, 2008 4:40 AM
Couple of things.
When Useless asked Cody how he felt about dancing with Edyta, it was really sweet because you could tell he was really worried about Julianne. Then Useless totally cut him off! USELESS!
The Looch completely wandered around the stage aimlessly during the "hip hop" routine. It was ridiculous!
I think Brooke just didn't want to injur herself. That is my two cents! Holla!
6 of 8 | Posted by jenday23 | Posted on November 3, 2008 9:58 AM
DYING. esp. the results recaps and screengrabs. hahahahahaha "i am sam" and "LOL" pretty much had me laughing so hard i got dirty looks for having fun on company time. that and for leaving a puddle in my chair. that tends to be frowned upon.
you guys are hee-larious. xoxox
7 of 8 | Posted by aujew | Posted on November 3, 2008 1:01 PM
Cody worrying about Julianne was super cute and then Useless ruined it.
I really, really don't like Susan Lucci. But that's only because I think she is unreasonably creepy...maybe that's just me.
And I will proudly admit that I was/still am an Nsync/Chris Kirkpatrick fan. Not that I have any idea why, I just am.
8 of 8 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on November 3, 2008 8:09 PM