Next, Dr. Drew comes to give advice to the couples. I thought this was gonna be a joke, but it was totally serious. This show kills me.
So, Lacey, when did you start shooting up before the shows?
My brother isn't even on TV anymore, and he's more famous than me. Plus, everywhere I turn there are gay gays who don't get my wacky sense of style.
I get it. I just hate it. That's why I started snorting crushed up Advil.
Alright you two. Lacey, you dress like a slut to get attention and Lance, you washed up like ten years ago so why don't you both calm down and be grateful that there are producers ill informed enough to put you on TV, k?
Thank you doctor! You saved us!
I'm sick of everyone calling me fat.
Well, I'm sick of everyone calling me a doctor, but I am one.
Oh no he didn't. We're leaving!
Cheryl keeps eating my lunchables and it's starting to piss me off.
That's a lie!
Cheryl, you keep wearing the same thing every day and that is hurting your self esteem. And Maurice, you need to stop being a man baby and buy a lock for your lunch. NEXT!
And now the Macy's star of the world something or other. People went online and chose their favorite dancers to perform, and they also chose their favorite designer to make the costumes.
Here's a crazyface if I ever saw one. This shit's gonna be unreal.
Bowling shirt for piano lovers.
What's in this giant piano?
Dead orphans! OH THE HUMANITY!
Just kidding! It's Julianne!
Ow, Jules. I'm glad you're not dead but please don't slap my hand so hard. I'm delicate.
And then, right there in her bizarre Macy's gift outfit, Julianne laid an egg.
Congrats on your strike, baby!
Ow my neck. Congrats on your success honey. Can we go now?
Those dead orphans will never escape.
And now back to Dr. Drew's Kinda Celebrity Blah Blah.
So, Brooke you're hot. How could you have any problems in life?
I don't. I'm awesome. Oh who am I kidding?!? I'm abused! ABUSED!
Woah! Dumbshit! Dropped the ball!
I would have better luck with a bitch from Greatest American dog as my partner.
That's right. Go get me some Popeye's, ho!
What'd I say?
Well, Brooke, it's important for a woman to know her place.
There's a bruise in the shape of a stiletto under all this hair. Please do something.
Thanks for comin' in. NEXT!
I just wanna wash his hair, doc. He stinks. He smells like boy feet at all times.
OMG she almost DIED. I couldn't shower. I was too busy thinking about her. Dead.
That's so sweet but you're making my eyes burn. It's like sitting next to chopped onions.
Please don't die! Edyta does...things to me. Bad things.
Oh, butch up. She's trying to make you a man.
Seriously. Wipe yourself off and get out of my office.
"Barbara Walters is so jealous right now!"
So, Lance, Len said, and I quote, "I don't understand how that pet rock even became famous in the first place." And then he followed it up with "sucky suck suck suck". How do you feel?
Uh...well, I uhhhh....Funny face!
Three Amigos
This must mean that the White Stripes are coming out.
Nope! It's Brad Captain Obvious Paisley.
I wasn't behind this number until now.
So, Maks, how do you feel about the gifts you've received from TVgasm? The candy, the Roseanne Season 7 DVD, the XXL holey tightey whiteys?
Ouch. You can't commit. I get it.
Tell us about this show you're gonna choreograph.
It's a like a great ah dancezesing peoples day moof good for da danz you see da peoples danceszszz.
And...sold.
Now for a look at the "anatomy of the dancers."
Hardest muffin top ever.
Hi, I'm Dr. Big Bertha. I study the physics of dancing because it is a fascinating sport. And I'm kinda repressed and awkwardly horny.
Dr. BBertha: Take this pose, it's very scientific. Let's just pause here for a sec and think about the difficulty level. Do you know how many muscles it takes to get an ass to stand out like that? And do you know how many muscles it's taking to hold myself back from pummeling it?
Sorry. I meant funneling. Funneling is scientific. Let's move on.
Hot DAMN I made a shiv out of a toothbrush. Be my bitch and I won't have to stab you with it.
Let's cut to commercial before I lose my job please.
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Comments (2)
I know I'm probably totally alone in my thinking this but I just don't think Brooke is that good. I kinda think she dances okay but she always looks a little like a deer in the headlights to me. I always feel like there is one competitor who the judges love no matter what and then some of the others they come down on even though they seem like they do a better job.
1 of 2 | Posted by Reiray | Posted on November 14, 2008 10:25 AM
Reiray, I completely agree, I'm not on the Brooke bandwagon as the judges seem to be. She is a good dancer, but she's really not that entertaining and I think she's had a lot more dance training than she's putting on.
My favorite is Warren not only because he's entertaining, but I just enjoy watching him more than everyone else.
I think the final two will come down between Warren and Brooke. We have Warren, the entertainer vs. Brooke, the consistent yet boring one. My money's on Warren.
2 of 2 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on November 15, 2008 7:37 PM