OK folks. So here's what's gonna happen. It's premier night of Dancing With The Stars. I know nothing of dance and have barely ever watched the show. Why am I recapping it then? Because it's easier than self-mutilation. Let's see who's dancing tonight shall we?
The night the Republican comeback stalled.
****Cherie and I are going to team up on this one. She is going to do the recaps and I will the do the pics and captions, and then a pic recap of the results show. Enjoy! -Flipit
I'm visiting TX right now, and this is how the weather woman dresses here. LOL. Nice see through shirt and black bra with soccer mom hair and a waddle. Dammit I love you TX!
As I mentioned I am not very familiar with the show so I'm just winging this shit. Like most of the people I've heard are gonna be on this train wreck symphony of artist ability showcase.
Oh goody! We start off with a group number of a bunch of dudes dancing to The Boys Are Back In Town. This would be more entertaining if they were nekkid but ya can't have everything.
Maks got married, so I'm kinda hoping this elevator thing will break so we can get a new cast of hot, ELIGIBLE bachelors. Way to take the fun out of nap time, Maks!
Stop torturing me with your perfect brows!
Try this again all together, k?
This is like that dbag skit from SNL, but greasier.
I want lighting like this in my living room so I can look forever youthful.
Afterwards up in the balcony Tom Burgermeistermeisterburger and Samantha Harris inform us that this is night one of a special three night event. Wait I just had a memory. Bbitz and Flipit call her Useless. Ha! I shall continue the tradition. And now for introductions!
Useless has aged about ten years in six months. Dang girl, lay off the gym, the tanning bed and the neck stress. Chubby Hubby might bring back some of your epidermal elasticity.
See?
Aaron Carter and Katrina Schmirnoff. Seriously I don't get the appeal of this kid. He's gross looking.
Chuck Liddell and Anna. I have no clue who he is.
Iron Chef dude Mark Decascos and Lacey. I know him. He's a nut. He should be fun.
Ashley Hamilton and Edyta. Damn I had forgotton ole George cloned himself.
Donny Osmond and Kym. What the frick frack is up with these mormons? They never age.
Louie Vito and Chelsie. Again no clue who he is but something ain't right about that kid.
Michael Irvin and Anna D. Again no clue who he is.
Tom Delay and Cheryl. Seriously? A politician? What there were no hobo's laying around? Ugh.
Debbie Mazaar and Maks. Don't know who she is don't care. Just want Maks naked. For artistic reasons of course.
How do you not know who Debi Mazar is? FUCK YOU, TURTLE!
Melissa Joan Hart and Mark. I got nothing.
Mya and Dmitry. Basically the same thing I said about Maks.
Kathy Ireland and Tony D. Ok I'm going to want to hate her because she's a former model but I'll probably end up liking her. I'm complicated like that.
Natalie Coughlin and Alec. This show is looking better and better.
Macy Grey and Jonathan. People are going to hate me but I can't stand her voice so I hope to hell she can dance.
In her concerts she comes out stoned off her ass and lays down on the stage for entire numbers with her eyes closed while she slurs out songs. Let's hope she brings a little of that polish to TV.
Joanna Krupa and Derek. Got enough models on here? Were there no homely fat people available?
I mean come on. How busy can Delta really be?
Kelly Osborne and Louis. OZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYY!!! Ok I'm a little prejudiced on this one. I love all things Ozzy. So I am stating right now that Lil' Satan is my favorite!
Oh thank the heavens the intros are done and now we see the camera trolling down the line of couples all making weird fuck faces.
Back to Tom and Useless. They tell us a bunch of crap we already know, make lame jokes and then tell us how action packed this season is gonna be. The men will perform tonight and the women tomorrow, and they will have to perform both a ballroom dance and a Latin dance.
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Comments (5)
"Ashley describes himself as an actor and comedian. Yeah and I'm a Super Model and a jet fighter."
Awesome joke Cherie, I'm still laughing. Really looking forward to see what you and flipit can do with this.
1 of 5 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on September 23, 2009 9:51 PM
Wow...GREAT recap!! :) BTW, Cherie, don't know if you heard, but Maks and Karina broke up....so, as far as I know, he's very single!!! ;) Anyway, can't wait for the next recap! This show is kinda my guilty pleasure....I know I shouldn't enjoy it, but I always do! Also, I , too, have a soft spot for Kelly! And anyone who used to be on SYTYCD! I'll stop rambling....THANKS AGAIN!! :)
2 of 5 | Posted by lrhflute | Posted on September 23, 2009 10:41 PM
Not only did they break up but according to many media sites (ok, TMZ) he is devastated about it. Apparently she broke it off with him very unexpectedly! I would be happy to console him!!
3 of 5 | Posted by Barbie071979* | Posted on September 24, 2009 2:25 PM
You two are awesome together! I scared my cat I was laughing so hard. The whole thing was great, but this little gem really made me chuckle: "Or you could ask, Passive Agresso." LOL.
Keep up the good times you two!
4 of 5 | Posted by zbunny | Posted on September 24, 2009 4:41 PM
happy dance that ya'll are recapping DWTS! Truly funny, luvs it, can't wait for more.
5 of 5 | Posted by whoochile | Posted on September 26, 2009 5:45 AM