Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results, Joss Stone is an equal opportunity employer!
And...the Flying Midget makes a deal with the Midget Devil.
***Real life got in the way of my partner Cherie's show recap this week, so we'll be skipping ahead to the results pic recap! Don't worry, she'll be back next week!
The scores were so close last night that we are left only with hairstyles separating the simply tacky from the too hideous to live.
There are five hairstyles on this head, and they all left the scene over fifteen years ago.
Tom and Useless welcome us back. I hope this is the day Useless finally gets pushed in a pool, cuz that necklace will sink her and open her job up to someone way more qualified and fascinating, like....darn Vanna White already has a job.
Guys, how come Cheryl always looks so vacantly sad? I hope she doesn't google herself, cuz that might be the reason and I would feel horrible. Then again, it might just be cuz she's got Mr. Ferley breathing down her neck.
Speaking of way too self aware...
I see you watching me. And I like it.
There were five ties last night, so everyone's a bit nervous. Maks stares at the camera, for support, Donny's partner looks to him for support, and Donny looks to the camera wondering why it's always on Maks and never on him.
Sad horns.
Let's review last night, shall we? Johanna started us off with hair. Lots and lots of hair.
It's like The Ring. With glitter.
I am on a very loud plane as I write this so I can't be sure, but I think he just told Johanna "I can see you've been fried and driven hard."
If Len had said that, it would have been sexual harrassment, but Bruno's gay so it was just fun and silly. How does that work, exactly? Point is, I don't have a point. Johanna does look fried, though. At least in the hair department.
No, I can't let it go. Sorry.
Bruno called Indoor Carpeting Head's tango "savage", and he wasn't kidding. Indoor looks like he was physically abusing Grace.
This is for The Starter Wife, biatch!
Sabrina dressed in Minnie Mouse polka dots and made as many Sabrina faces as possible. I thought those faces had something to do with bad acting, but turns out it's just her face. Poor thing.
The Flying Midget did some tricks, but no one was impressed. He is a Flying Midget with leprechaun powers, after all.
Yawn. Pass a Lucky Charms box without hiding a crap ass toy in it. That would be impressive.
Iron Chef almost boned it and fell on his face, but saved it at the last second. In related news, there is no fear of Iron Chef boning Lacey.
Fuck You Turtle Mazar did a lot better than last week, but she pushed Maks down.
And this cannot ever be forgiven. Down with Fuck You Turtle!
Mr. Furley almost dropped Cheryl on her head.
I'm sure he made this up to her later by patting her ass, calling her Chrissy, and offering to fix her sink.
Please don't breathe on me.
Kathy Ireland was a snoozer, but the whole bullfighter reaching for a wad of Kleenex theme at least made it watchable.
Will he breathe clearly one more time before he gets gored? Stay tuned!
Have you ever wondered what Anderson Cooper would like like without those gorgeous blue eyes?
Just plain ole pasty. Boooo! Get some contacts, Anderson!
Dancing With Satan
Chunky Gwen Stefani had a fabulous week last week, but she kinda boned it this week. She's pissed, and she's an Osbourne so she doesn't really hide it. Her reaction reminds me of the time Christina Aguilera started calling Jack three times a day. Someone's gonna get cut.
Of course this time she looks like a goth Cinnabon, but otherwise the anger is just the same.
Donny impressed the judges. He impressed me too cuz I didn't know they sold such tiny velvet suits. Cute. Why is everyone so shocked about the vagina on So You Think You Can Dance? Pussies are showcased on this show three hours a week.
Two in one shot.
Anderson Cooper told Donny that dance has no age. That's like the fifth time someone's said that to him and it's only the second week. WTF? He's not Cloris, for crying out loud.
Speaking of Cloris.
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Comments (2)
"Of course this time she looks like a goth Cinnabon, but otherwise the anger is just the same."
Best. Joke. Ever. Or at least on this page, still laughing at it flipit.
Is is it just me or did someone stick Donny Osmond in a box compactor? I never remembered him being this short.
I love that this show is on for no other reason then the fact it's the bedrock of the clown makeup and bronzer markets in America today.
Great recap and I can't wait to see what you guys come up with next.
1 of 2 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on October 3, 2009 9:33 PM
Waffleboy, the scary thing is that these people look downright normal compared to the competitors in the real ballroom dancing competitions. Have you ever watched one? They used to show them on PBS and man, they were freaky. They would snap their heads back and forth so fast in the tango, it was scary. And they all had these hairstyles (the women) and tranny makeup. I'd honestly rather watch people who aren't as good at dancing but look more normal.
2 of 2 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on October 4, 2009 1:26 AM