This week on Dancing With The Stars: Our couples will be assigned one of four never before seen dance styles! Lambada! Cheesier than porn! Bolero! What the eff is that? Country 2-Step! Get the soon to be released instructional video at Walmart! Charleston! Just for Donny Osmond!
This is my excited face. You just can't tell because it's had more work done on it than an '85 Ford Truck!
I must have really pissed someone off to get assigned this ridiculous shit, but I had an extra martini or five at happy hour tonight so why the eff not? My husband thinks reality shows are the scourge of intelligent society, but after watching five minutes of this with me, he vowed to never talk shit about my obsession with So You Think You Can Dance ever again. So at least the entire night wasn't a waste.
I'm a DWTS virgin, more than I can say for this chick:
Before we can get started tonight, let's review what happened last week: Debi Mazar, who I love, was kicked off for having the lowest score.
Tom DeLay left due to stress fractures in his feet, with the encouragement of his partner, Cheryl Burke. I think she knew they weren't going to make it far anyway and was ready to cut her losses and start her off season diet of Mike's Hard Lemonade and donuts.
Excuse my lack of DWTS experience, but I gather that all episodes start with the cattle lining up for the slaughterhouse introduction of all our "star" and professional dancer couples. Unless the vibe the producers are going for is pure camp, they might want to rethink how they have staged the presentation of these dancing duos. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought I was watching a SNL spoof of a reality dance competition. Are all ballroom type activities this schmaltzy, or is this all ABC's doing? Email me at nevermindidontgiveafck@gmail.com and let me know, kay?
Host Tom Bergeron informs us that with two couples gone, the stakes are higher than ever. No shit? Couldn't that accurately be said about every consecutive week? Good to see why they pay you the big bucks, Tom.
But anyhoo...Live from Hollywood, it's Dancing With The Stars!
Tom's co-host, we'll call her Boobs because I'm pretty sure that's the only reason she's here, heightens the drama by informing us that while they are performed in competition, tonight's new dances are not ones that the dancers are used to choreographing or implementing.
The first couple up for ridicule tonight is UFC fighter Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebicantspellhername.
Last week, they danced a samba in which Chuck was charming, but the dance itself was "zombielike." This week they've been assigned the Country 2-Step. In rehearsals, Anna asks Chuck if he knows anything about the 2-Step, and he says his Mom likes to 2-Step, so this should be nothing if not fun.
This week, all dancers are allowed to do lifts, and Chuck hopes this is to his advantage, as it is a chance for him to use his size and strength for something other than getting in the way. We see some rehearsal footage of Chuck basically just tossing Anna around, and as much as I want to talk some shit about the guy, he seems like a genuinely nice dude for someone who makes a living out of pulverizing other human beings.
Chuck and Anna 2-Step to "Boot-Scootin' Boogie," which is actually kind of a fun song when it's not being slaughtered by some shitty house band. The dance itself is awkward, sloppy, and repetitive, but both Chuck and the chick look like they're having fun and put a ton of personality into it.
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Comments (4)
Welcome to the bizarre world of DWTS! Excellent recap. You had me snorting and shaking and even peeing a little. Yay you!
1 of 4 | Posted by dcgasmic | Posted on October 15, 2009 1:10 PM
The person who used to recap this show nicknamed Samantha as Useless. Her interviewing skills are just SO bad.
Loved the Derek/Ken doll comparison! So spot on!
Sorry, gotta disagree with you on the Lacey love. Her dancing on sytycd was great, but I find her obnoxious. Although much less so this season than her first two. You should tune in to Iron Chef America to see Mark D.
I do love Chelsie H though!
Oh, and since you're a new viewer to this show, are you aware that Alec is married to Edyta? You're right - he's hawt.
Thanks for making me laugh!
2 of 4 | Posted by wcsdancer | Posted on October 15, 2009 2:04 PM
Thank you SO much for all of the feedback! I appreciate it a TON and love any and all advice I can get!
I'm not surprised I'm not the only one who thinks Boobs is useless. There have got to be pretty girls out there who can actually hold a conversation with someone.
I can totally see why peeps think Lacey is obnoxious. Something about her just sucked me in, what can I say.
I did not know that my future ex-husband Alec is already married, and to gorgeous Edyta, no less! Oh well, thankfully wedding rings do not exist in my fantasyland. :)
I'm concerned that I may have become addicted to DWTS during my viewing/recapping! It's just chock full of great material!
3 of 4 | Posted by happy.housewife | Posted on October 15, 2009 2:24 PM
Great re-cap! One of the reasons to watch this show is to read the re-caps! Welcome!
4 of 4 | Posted by mistichristi | Posted on October 16, 2009 7:00 PM