Tonight, we are mourning the loss of our beloved Natalie Cocklin and her partner, the man whose name we shall not speak, for they have been cast away back into the depths of obscurity.

We are also mourning the exit of Maksim, who is no longer needed due to Ken Doll's triumphant return from the Mattel Factory a severe case of the flu. I am sad, not only because I do not get to drool all over the place everytime he comes on the screen, but also because he seemed like the only guy with the stones necessary to finally smack the cuntiness right out of Joanna Poopa. You know Ken Doll won't, cause he doesn't want to mess up his new manicure. Maybe Michael Irvin will go on a coke binge and whoop the trick for me. That would be some hall of fame shit. A HappyHousewife can dream, can't she?

But the show must go on, and it will, with each of the nine couples performing either a waltz or the jitterbug. After each couple has performed, all of them will be competing in a dance marathon!

According to Boobs, a dance marathon involves all nine couples on the floor at the same time, mambo-ing their little butts off, until they are tapped on the shoulder by choice of the judges. This will continue until there is only one couple standing. Points will be awarded based on place of finish, and added to their traditional score.

Also, please forgive me, but last week I had ten one too many martinis by the end of the show, and forgot to post the final leaderboard. So, this is what it looked like before Cocklin and ---- got sent packing.

Ok, all caught up and ready to go? Right on. We begin tonight with my only lover remaining standing, cabana boy Dmitry, and his partner, Mya. Last week, they slipped from first to second on the leaderboard due to the lack of an emotional connection in their excellent argentine tango. An astute reader pointed out that it seems like Mya really wants nothing to do with Dmitry, but knows she has to put on the happy face to keep winning those votes. I'm thinking either she thinks he's a total dweeb, or she's just used to being in charge and doesn't like some peasant telling her what to do. I do appreciate that, either way, she's able to essentially keep it under wraps and be a class act, which is a rarity on this show.

This week, our happy couple have been assigned the jitterbug. Interesting. I thought for sure the producers would lob them a waltz right up the middle, just so they could hit it out of the park. With her lines and his partnering, they would have killed a waltz. The Mormons must have paid off those producers to keep Donny on top, however, because jitterbug it is. Mya comments that she's okay with that, because it takes away the pressure of the argentine tango, pretty much proving my reader's theory. Why would an argentine tango be more pressure unless you hate the guy you're tangoing with? That's just fine, Mya, be that way then, and send my boy back home, the pool needs drained for the winter anyhow.

I'll keep it short-I thought their jitterbug sucked. They didn't seem together to me, and Mya, who is usually sharp and on point, was all over the place with this style. They had some ridiculous props that instead of enhancing their performance, totally distracted. Twas not impressed. Were the judges?

Len, like usual, agreed with me. He's a big HappyHousewife fan, you know. He even has a t-shirt with my face on it.

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Posted in Dancing with the Stars by HappyHousewife at 6:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: PurpleCows on Oct 30, 2009 07:52 PM.