This week on Dancing With The Stars: the final five "stars" get down to business with two dances each.
In case you didn't see Flipit's Pic Recap of the Results Show (bad, bad dog! Go read it now!), we ended up losing Mikey Irvin right off the bat, followed by Karate Kid after he lost the dance off to Meth Face.
So that means Meth Face will live to dance another week, which means we wait to see if the Tweaker Turnpike busting out of his forehead chooses tonight to burst all over the stage!
Because it's now only the final five dancing, they had to fill two hours they had to intensify the competition by requiring each duo to dance two individual routines, one traditional ballroom, one latin. The latin dance will be decade themed, just to make sure the dancers look absolutely ridiculous as they are salsaing away their dignity.
Our poor 'stars', who are obviously not used to working, are fighting fatigue, illness, and stress to fight for the Mirror Ball Trophy.
But the competition continues, so let's welcome our stars!!!
On another side note, as this show was starting, my 4 year old was playing and somewhat heard the beginning...as they were announcing the couples, she asked, "Mommy? Is that show called Dancing With The Farts?" Ha freaking ha. We start them young around this HappyHousehold. Anyhoo.....
Back to our 'stars'!
Because the four couples that make it out of this week alive are headed to the finals, apparently our judges are going to pull their mouths off the wine boxes they have stashed underneath their podium and turn up the heat on the judging.
They also have been giving blowjobs totaking lessons from the guys over at ESPN, because they want to illustrate how serious they are with a breakdown of every dancer, what styles they will be dancing tonight, and what they are looking for in those dances. For the ballroom round...
Donny will be dancing a Viennese Waltz. The things Len and Scary Ann are looking for are gracefulness and posture. For Joanna Poopa and her quickstep, they call her out again for the stumble in her dance with Maks (yes!) and say that keeping her technique in the fast quickstep will be key.
Kelly will be dancing a fox trot tonight, and the thing she needs to focus on is technique-they say she hasn't improved on technique since week three and mediocrity is not good enough to get her into the finals. "Grow, or go," said Len, and I presume he mistook Kelly for one of the lady boys he hires to come home with him after the show.
Mya's been assigned the quickstep, and Scary Ann bitches that she doesn't put enough effort into her footwork, instead relying on showmanship. So she needs to try harder or something. Doesn't matter, Len's going to give her a five anyway.
As for Meth Face...well, Len says he is the boy that has become a man. I can only presume how Len knows this, and now I will begin bleaching that out of my mind. MF will also be dancing the Fox Trot tonight, and his key to succeeding will be to restrain himself and stay in the zone.
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Comments (6)
Just out of curiosity HappyHouswife, why do you hate Poopa so much? Mind you, I hadn't heard of her prior to this season of the show and therefore know nothing about her. Anyway it's hilarious, but at least you're still able to judge her objectively. *ahem*
I wish the judges would score the contestants by professional standards and give the dancers 2's and 3's. I hate how they give out 6's in the first week and then continually score higher for the same caliber of dance as the season progresses just because they don't want the dancers to be discouraged (I also think they're too worried about getting booed by the audience). It makes all of those cheap 9's and 10's completely meaningless.
1 of 6 | Posted by ohhhyeah | Posted on November 14, 2009 9:19 AM
Why do I hate Poopa so much? Well, she's tall, blonde, and a model for starters. Then she was on some reality show called The Superstars before this where she was partnered with Terrell Owens, and was such a c*@t she made HIM look like a saint. Seriously. What personality she does have is totally shitty, and therefore she sucks. I decided. And luckily, I'm just a recapper, not a judge, so I don't have to be subjective (not like those three are anyway, ha!) And yes, I do enhance my hatred some for entertainment value...gotta have a target, you know?:)
2 of 6 | Posted by happy.housewife | Posted on November 14, 2009 10:52 AM
Happy.Housewife - I'm with you on the Poopa dislike. I actually caught the episode of the show Poopa was on this summer. I said to my husband who is that potty-mouthed girl yelling at TO. They had to bleep out every word from her mouth. Then she shows up on DWTS - she must have done someone right.
I definitely see a Donny, Mya, Poopa finale. Hard to tell if Mya or Donny will run off with the mirror ball. Mya is the better dancer, but I still can't get over my little girl crush on Donny.
3 of 6 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on November 14, 2009 11:40 AM
As much as you hate Joanna, I can't solely based on the fact she's partnered with Derek. I think he is the best choreographer on the show, even if his partners fuck it up a lot. That's just about the only reason I'm rooting for Joanna to win this season is so Derek can join the double winning partner crew.
4 of 6 | Posted by jarthon | Posted on November 15, 2009 5:37 PM
Well. I have to admit that I rocked Dmitri's porn start look. I think he should keep it. Of course, I WAS a child of the 70s so it wasn't really porn, it was just the fashion! And I thought his and Mya's dance was perfect.
And I just like Derek. I thought the robot dance was great. I think Joanne does really well on the latin dances, but on the ballroom sets she dances like a paint-by-numbers. Foot goes here. Hand goes here. No feeling it - just following instructions.
I, too, have a little girl crush on Donny. But I don't think he can ever top the Argentine tango. Face it, that was muy sexy!
5 of 6 | Posted by baffled | Posted on November 17, 2009 8:47 AM
I totally agree with the Derek comments--I make fun of him because he's SUCH an easy target, but he's a really exceptional choreographer and partner. If I was to ever go on the show, him or Louis would be the ones I'd want to be partnered with. Cause if I got put with Maks, they'd have to start broadcasting on Skinemax instead.
6 of 6 | Posted by happy.housewife | Posted on November 17, 2009 9:01 AM