This week on Dancing With The Stars: we are forced to find a way to go on after the sudden departure of Meth Face and Svetlana, who were the couple kicked off last week.
Meth Face and the Tweaker Turnpike running through his forehead will be sorely missed, and will leave us tonight a lot less cracky.
Even though Clever Tom and ABC will remind you no less than 547 times tonight, let me reiterate that tonight is the semi-finals. There are only 4 couples remaining, and DWTS has helpfully explained your choices for the winner of the mirrorball trophy with an easy to use Manual of the Stars.
I sat down to watch this episode with the ill-conceived hope that because there were only 4 couples remaining, it would only be an hour long. But no such luck, instead, each duo will be dancing three times.
First up to fight his way to a spot in the finals is Donny, accompanied by his partner, Hatchetface.
Donny is trying to bounce back from an off week, one in which he danced a really creepy viennese waltz and a Flock of Seagullsesque paso doble. I finally figured out what creeps me out about Donny, and it's not the Mormonism or the fact that he used to make my mom's panties moist. It's the face he makes when he dances-it's exactly the face I would expect a serial killer to make as he is stabbing me to death. It's this look of extreme calm, that is barely holding back an unbearable sadness but strangely excited at the same time. Creepy McKillerson, this one.
Between the bad dancing and sociopathic vibes, Donny earned low enough scores to put him in dead last heading into tonight's semifinal. Because of this, he makes Hatchetface promise him she will work him as hard as she can because he doesn't want to go home. Why do I feel like this is not the first time McKillerson has solemnly asked someone to work him hard? Anyhoo, they have been assigned the Tango as their first performance of the evening. Hatchetface is rightfully a little concerned with Creepy's ability to exude the passion that the tango requires, so brings in Gilles Marini to help demonstrate. Apparently this dude was on in season 8, and was also in the Sex and the City movie. Neither of which I have seen, which is why I have no clue who in the fuck he is. I figured he was the token "latin lover" character from one of the ABC soaps, but I guess not because he's French. But looks Spanish. Anyhoo. On his season, he got perfect 10's in a bunch of his dances, so he is going to help Donny get in the passionate character he needs. What Creepy gets out of the lesson is that in order to make the dance believable, he has to make everyone feel uncomfortable. Well, if that's the case, McKillerson, you better get a trophy case ready!
Well, he succeeds in making everyone uncomfortable, but in an awkward sense. The dance just did not feel right to me at all. (Dude, I'm starting to fucking sound like Mary Murphy! Is this what judging dance does to you? Does this mean I get a Vicodin prescription like hers, too?) Technically it was on, but Creepy was flashing the Kelly look of "I'm concentrating way too hard".
« America's Next Top Model: Team BEN or Team Laura? | Main | So You Think You Can Dance: A Night At The Museum »
Comments (2)
Samantha is so bad, but can we send her hand-me-downs to Cat Deely? Samantha's wardrobe is almost always gorgeous.
1 of 2 | Posted by wcsdancer | Posted on November 23, 2009 10:48 AM
Mya is an awesome dancer but I just can't warm up to her. I think it's the barely concealed conceit. She tries to act humble but she just can't quite pull it off.
2 of 2 | Posted by DonnaRonna | Posted on November 23, 2009 3:29 PM