This week on Dancing with the Stars, teams had to either perform the fox trot or the much more intriguing paso doble -- a dance that always calls for italics, no matter what the situation. As usual, we had our share of memorable moments. Kind of. Well, let's see. Lisa Rinna put her hair back in a bun, and actually looked hotter for it -- so that's something. Oh, and Master P managed to turn walking into a dance move. And, of course, how could anyone forget the Pussycat Dolls? Okay, don't answer that last question.
George and Edyta
Kicking off the evening's festivities were George and Edyta, and as we braced for yet another joke about the 'hood, our favorite dancing senior announced that he wanted to cut down on theatricality and focus more on technique... which is why he came out dressed like his trademark character, Zorro the Gay Blade. Yes, nothing says low-key like brandishing a sword, a mask, and a feathered cap.
Nevertheless, George's paso doble was still fun to watch, and the ever silent Edyta looked quite sexy in her Spanish gettup. Grrrowl. The crowd was certainly into the performance, giving a long ovation at its end. Even Tom Bergeron was moved to comment: "Antonio Banderas, if you're watching, this is you in twenty years." And in other news, Billy Bush, if you're watching, Tom Bergeron is you in twenty years. I know, tough break.
Before we could get to judging, Bergeron asked Len what to look for in a paso doble, and oddly enough, Len responded by quoting both Michael Jackson AND the Pointer Sisters: "Blood on the dancefloor! Fire!" Impressive! But no love for Patti LaBelle? Maybe he should have referenced the need for a new attitude. Just a suggestion.
Well, the judges enjoyed Georgie's dance, even if it was lacking a bit in technique. Bruno, of course, provided the obligatory forced analogy by saying, "Yes, it was a bit more Anty'opkins than Antonio Banderas." At which point Gwenyth Paltrow popped up on screen and sighed, "Oh, Antony Hopkins..."
Then it was time for George to go backstage, but before he left, he had one last thing to say: "I had a prop problem... I had a horse, but he lamed up in the parking lot." Well, at least it wasn't another 'hood joke.
As George and Edyta (or Gedyta) finally retreated to the Den of Samantha Harris, Tom reminded us to call in and vote for our favorite celebrities after the show. "We advise you to use your calls wisely because, you know, the White House is listening," he said. Whoa, whoa! That's some risqué political humor for Dancing with the Stars. I'm surprised we didn't get a test-signal for twenty seconds as ABC execs contemplated shutting the whole thing down. Tom Bergeron: the Mark Russell of the ballroom community.
Anyway, Gedyta pulled in straight sevens from the judges for a combined score of twenty-one. "I'm gonna go cut my throat now," George said. Awww. Wait, that's really grim. Somebody keep an eye on George. You know how depressed those senior citizens can get.
Tia and Maksim
The big news in Tia's life was that she and Maksim had to spend the week on the road. They flew to New York for a little morning gab with Regis and Kelly, and then they headed to Max's classroom where we could all meet his fleet-footed students. Yes, Max has students, and they were all insane dancers -- especially one guy whose foot seemed to be moving at the speed of sound. It was all very children of The Matrix to me, except instead of bending spoons, they were just really, really good at shaking their hips. I guess it's appropriate -- after all, on the season premiere, Max did describe himself as Neo. I'd really love to see The Matrix: Ballroom Edition. Max could have a dance off with Agent Smith.
Anyway, Tia and Max performed a nice little fox trot, which was received rather well; although, apparently there was some sort of blunder, according to Len and Bruno. Carrie Ann didn't see the misstep, but she did have some rather terrible news: THE CHAINÉ WAS OFF!!! Dunh dunh DUNH! (And yes, I had to look up "chainé.")
Tia ultimately garnered solid scores: a nine and two eights for a total of twenty-five. When asked to comment by Samantha Harris, she simply cocked her head back and said, "Well, you know, P talks about the 'hood, George talks about the 'hood. I'm from the original 'hood: MOTHERHOOD." Wah wah wah. That wasn't rehearsed at all! I guess we're at Hood Jokes 2.0.
Well done, Tia. Well done.
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Comments (21)
Overall, I think this was an OK episode. I'm pretty sure that Tia will go next week.
(note my posting time vs. the post of the blog :)
1 of 21 | Posted by Exarius
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Posted on January 30, 2006 3:58 PM
Rene Russo+The Joker=The Roker=dead on=tears of delight streaming down my face. Thank you B-Side.
Exarius=impressive=E=mc2
(how do yo make an exponent on the keyboard anyway?)
2 of 21 | Posted by Lizardqueen
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Posted on January 30, 2006 4:15 PM
I think I'm really going to miss watching the train wreck that was P each week. It just won't be the same without him standing in the middle of the floor with Ashley dancing around him...
3 of 21 | Posted by mere2142
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Posted on January 30, 2006 5:09 PM
FrankenP is gone. It's about time.
So that was Scarface he was doing? I kept picturing Razor Rrrrramon, who probably got the schtick from the same movie, but pfffft, some of us have never seen it.
4 of 21 | Posted by Tabby Lavalamp
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Posted on January 30, 2006 7:29 PM
Great recap B-Side. And like you, I am counting the days until Survivor - I want me some Jeff Probst and I want it now!
5 of 21 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on January 30, 2006 8:15 PM
I'm excited for Survivor starting this week!!!! It's about damn time!
as far as this show, it was the first time I watched it. Master P looked like a nervous 7th grader at a school dance. He was horrible. I'm glad that he left.
6 of 21 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on January 30, 2006 8:31 PM
Lisa did have a new look, but did anyone else but me think she looked exactly like Anne Bancroft? It was scary!
7 of 21 | Posted by Linintenn
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Posted on January 31, 2006 12:10 AM
Why the 60 minute filler? In England the results are dealt with the same night and in 15 minutes. Then again thanks to dancing with stars/ strictly come dancing we now have a weekly "celebrity" ice dancing show. In betwen the actual show and the results one there is a 1 and 15 minutes filler on the cable channel, piss poor is the kindest thing i can say about it. Will Master P rap about his dancing from now on?!?
Since i cant post on old prison break posts, the posteboards for them are quite good including Dr. Tancredi. For some reason they are trying to pass it off as more of an emotional drama than the modern day mcgyver.
8 of 21 | Posted by bob
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Posted on January 31, 2006 4:02 AM
B-Side: Great Recap, in tears the whole read! Laughing aloud= not stuff for work...
Wasn't there an interview, in which Master P said that white people would riot if he were to win? Well, thank goodness he did America a favor and really stunk up the floor with his performance. I could just imagine how angry and riled up the white viewers would have been if Master P had won. I could imagine WASP's left and right throwing bricks painted with "Screw Ballroom Dancing" into store front windows, because of a t.v. reality series.
9 of 21 | Posted by AvaMarie
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Posted on January 31, 2006 5:52 AM
Correction: I said that Master P said the following statement, but it was really one of his delusional and avid fans. According to allhiphop.com...
IC member Da 404 Soulja posted, "First off, I just want to give big ups to P and all the people that voted for him. If Master P ends up winning this, the White people are gonna start a riot and get P killed. I want to see P win this s**t!"
Also, on the abc.com message boards, a poster: merrykerry admits to using software program, so he can wrongfully cast 400,000 votes for Master P. What a controversy!
10 of 21 | Posted by AvaMarie
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Posted on January 31, 2006 6:23 AM
Did anyone else notice Jerry's face during the horrible Scarface impersonations? He looked embarrassed to be black. And that Pussycat Doll looks like a tranny.
11 of 21 | Posted by tvismylife
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Posted on January 31, 2006 6:25 AM
Does anyone remember that show "Pop Girls" (they became the short lived band called "Eden's Crush")? It was before the original Making the Band and Nicole (main singer of the PussyCat Dolls) was the main singer of Eden's Crush.
12 of 21 | Posted by nycid
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Posted on January 31, 2006 8:20 AM
WHOA!! That caption for the picture of that redhead in the Pussycat Dolls was freaking dead on. Too funny.
nycid, I remember the show! I knew I had seen that girl somewhere before Pussycat Dolls. Nice that she found another group. :) AND she's the sole singer!
13 of 21 | Posted by stacyrocks
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Posted on January 31, 2006 8:57 AM
i don't know what is going to haunt me more the trannie or george's gunit, when watching the show was thinking "did they just shoe george's tightey whitey's' poor tan little man
looooved drew's thriller
on p- it was time for him to go, the nerve to just stand there and walk around the dance floor...
next week....BARRY MANILO...
great recap bside...hoping for copa cabana?
14 of 21 | Posted by hardly@work
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Posted on January 31, 2006 9:06 AM
I'm so glad Master P is gone! He was truly painful to watch.
Now I don't care as much who wins (unlike the first round of DWTS where it had to be John for me). I'd say, though, Drew is my fav with Stacy very close and George is my least fav.
15 of 21 | Posted by livemusicjunkie
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Posted on January 31, 2006 10:00 AM
The Thriller dance was great, but am I the only one distracted by Drew Lachey's almost complete lack of a neck.
Boosucks to P. I can almost handle the bad dancing, I mean there's no way that man could ever do well at ballroom dancing. But his lazyass, indignant 'tude was appalling. Good riddance, finally!
16 of 21 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on January 31, 2006 1:22 PM
I love Tia and Max! They seem to have true romance, yes I know they don't really, but watching them dance is what dancing is all about! Any other Tia and Max fans? Does Tony freak anyone else out but me?
17 of 21 | Posted by mistichristi
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Posted on January 31, 2006 3:52 PM
#12 and #13- I remember that show and Nicole b/c I watched it. She always did have a great voice, and now she seems to have found her niche.
18 of 21 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on January 31, 2006 3:53 PM
19 of 21 | Posted by monkeypeanut
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Posted on January 31, 2006 10:03 PM
Drew rules ! As far as the boy band contestants go, I think he's even blowing away Joey Mac from last season.
I was so relieved for poor Ashley, though I must admit the end of "P Miller" will make the show a little less interesting.
20 of 21 | Posted by Shoe-In
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Posted on February 1, 2006 10:59 AM
How about next season we have Ashley from O-Town and Jessica Simpson. Would love to see the 2 air heads dance = although it would be even better if they were skating....
21 of 21 | Posted by auntieboo
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Posted on February 7, 2006 7:32 AM