So here we are, our second season of Dancing With the Stars. For most of the shows that promise to breathe life into minor celebrities, I tune in simply to take pleasure in the misfortune of others, but I can't say that with Dancing With the Stars. Public speaking is difficult, and public dancing is not much better. When you consider that everybody has to do this live in front of millions of people without a script to follow and almost no skill for the event which they will be judged, I sort of have to give all of these people a hand. Then, of course, they actually make it on to the dance floor, and open their mouths and I am ready to make fun of them. This season, the producers have changed the elimination. The audience will vote on the same performances as the judges, with a results show to be aired Fridays for elimination. That takes care of one of the biggest evaluation mysteries from last season, and should give people more incentive to vote. After the success of the show this summer, appearing on Dancing With the Stars holds a little bit of cachet now, although as we will see, the prestige of the event means more to some people than others. Nevertheless, it was a great first episode, and I think we'll have plenty to talk about over the next eight weeks.
Tom Bergeron is back, and I think after audience reviews from last summer, he has been allowed to right his own jokes. Considering his other gigs are Hollywood Squares and America's Funniest Home Videos, I hope the audience re-surveys him out of that role, because he was really bad. That might be why the networks decided to get rid of co-host Lisa Canning, now entering her fortieth year of existence with the younger Samantha Harris, who you may know as the host of The Next Joe Millionaire and correspondent from E! News. To tell you the truth, I am not sure why they got rid of Lisa Cannon, but between Samantha and Tom, there can't be any more than a few dozen brain cells between the two of them. Luckily, this is ballroom dancing, and there would be no play by play, which might seem sad because I would pay just to see Keith Jackson say "Whoooaaa Nellie!" any time a woman's skirt reached her knees, but in the long run it's probably better for all of us.
They called the stars to come down the stairs, and we first caught sight of George Hamilton, although I think he can officially change his name to Orange Hamilton. I wasn't aware that those self-tanning lotions came in "Oompah Loompah", but now I know. George was followed by the rest of the celebrities, including Kenny Mayne, who looks quite dashing in a puffy shirt, as well as Master P, oh, I'm sorry, P. Miller. I am not sure if there was some reason P was requesting they use his government name, but a few more weeks of "P Miller, also known as Master P", and I'll be tattooing a prince sign to the back of his ass. Everybody looked good, and Tia Carrere looked pregnant, but actually she just had a baby, so I will ease off the Rachel Hunter impersonation jokes for a few weeks. Overall, everybody looked really good, and with that we got right to the dancing.
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Comments (23)
What good fun. Nice job J-Unit. Word to the David Carradine sighting. That's the first thing I thought. But, would that be one Madam Heidi Fleiss sitting behind Nick Latchkey in the pop-up pic? Methinks so.
1 of 23 | Posted by Lizardqueen
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Posted on January 6, 2006 3:37 AM
Lisa Rinna is an old soap opera veteran from years ago and she had those huge lips way back before Botox. Naturally huge!
2 of 23 | Posted by wornsey
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Posted on January 6, 2006 4:34 AM
Once I spotted Carradine I was wracking my brain trying to figure out why he would be there - what could possibly connect the dots to have him land in that audience. Oddness abounds.
I love that you noted the singer on Tia's dance. That song was so distractingly bad that I was having a hard time paying attention to the dance for trying to see behind them to see who really WAS singing.
Lisa Rinna gave me nightmares last night...something about how her neck looked and the way her lips looked dry and crusty. (shudders)
3 of 23 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on January 6, 2006 5:41 AM
dogwood and pussywillows!
Sorry, I have my radio on and Beyonce is talking about her new movie. I thought nothing would be worse than hearing her sing until I heard her talk. Beyonce, Begone.
Anyways she's done now and I can concentrate again. Loved train-wrecks-in-progress George Hamilton and Master P. Did he get that name because he is a master at peeing? Please let these two stay on the show. If only for the snark factor.
My favorite was the female wrestler. Damn she is HOTTTT!!!! in a dress. She looks like a man on WWE so I was floored when she came out in that belly revealing dress. She can dance too.
4 of 23 | Posted by America's Next Top Fan
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Posted on January 6, 2006 6:50 AM
Please someone enlighten me -- who is david carradine and why is it odd he's there?
oh it was almost painful to watch M.P. plod through that dance, it was like frankenstein's first prom,
i thought kenny was hilarious, i hope he stays.
jerry rice did dance better the second half, once he loosened up, i think he could do well.
5 of 23 | Posted by hardly@work
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Posted on January 6, 2006 7:21 AM
Jonathan Roberts IS YUMMY!!!! I thought so last season and I still think so.
I have not LAUGHED so hard in a long time, when Kenny was dancing. What great FUN!!!!
6 of 23 | Posted by is
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Posted on January 6, 2006 7:32 AM
Tom Bergeron is a complete moron. I can't believe they brought him back again. Wouldn't Chen bring some elegance to this ballroom debaucle? Contractual obligations be damned.
I hope Master P gets kicked off, but you know everyone from the 'hood is going to vote for him. The one who I'd like to see win is Drew Lachey. Us shorties have to stick together (What is he, 3'7"?)! Plus, it was interesting to see Nick sans Jessica in the audience.
I was also caught off guard when I saw Carradine. I will be dancing with the stars, grasshoppa.
7 of 23 | Posted by Krizzatch
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Posted on January 6, 2006 7:41 AM
ohhh... the guy from kill bill...
8 of 23 | Posted by hardly@work
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Posted on January 6, 2006 7:49 AM
Lisa Rinna may have always had big lips, but they've been helped along in recent years. Catch a episode of her on Blowout on Bravo, they've gotten much bigger.
I thought Tia Carrerre's partner's comment "at least it wasn't digusting" was pretty funny.
9 of 23 | Posted by Laurie
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Posted on January 6, 2006 7:57 AM
kenny mayne just looked like he had another joint between his knee and hip--like his leg comes in three segments.
but hey, cant fault him for that, some tall people just have legs like that, but i really thought he tried at least.
master p is a fucking lame ass no talent tool. AT LEAST TRY! he has my favorite partner from season one (ashley delgrosso) and i'm bummed we wont be seeing much of her i suspect.
10 of 23 | Posted by jash
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Posted on January 6, 2006 8:05 AM
ashley danced her ass off last night, poor thing, you could tell she knew she probably wouldn't be coming back, i think she is just too sweet to tell master p to get his butt in gear, imean goign from joey mac to master p. hopefully america will take pity on them and bring them back for one more week
11 of 23 | Posted by hardly@work
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Posted on January 6, 2006 8:11 AM
It was totally Harry Hamlin booing the judges in the background after Lisa danced.
Thank you for putting a name to the "Kung Fu guy" that I kept seeing in the background.
Kenny Mayne was painful but good fun. I hope he gets to stick around.During his interview I thought he might be this year's J. Peterman until I saw him move. Yikes! My favorite was when he waved off the steps in the middle of the routine.
Master P needs to go. He barely even tried.
12 of 23 | Posted by mountain_girl
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Posted on January 6, 2006 9:19 AM
I missed the David Carradine sighting but did see it when Master P and Jerry Rice were standing chest to chest, sizing each other up, and George Hamilton was behind them doing all of the crazy gang hand signals, showing how 'down' he was. Oh George, you had me at "I broke my ribs falling off my yacht" but this definitely pushed me over the edge to full blown reality tv love. Hopefully he will last a couple more weeks before he has a heart attack, but from the way he was huffing and puffing last night in between gasps of "Call 911!", I doubt it.
13 of 23 | Posted by Aries
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Posted on January 6, 2006 9:37 AM
Ashley was a total cutie last season. I kept wanting her and Joey to reveal that they were now dating in real life. Oh well... can't always have the kind of reality tv luv that Brigitte and Flava had.
14 of 23 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on January 6, 2006 11:13 AM
J-Unit:
I am not sure if you were serious or not, but watching Tatum talk at the end of her dance made me think she on something. I missed her dance tho ...
15 of 23 | Posted by D-Hoffs
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Posted on January 6, 2006 1:07 PM
Dang, I missed this!
Hm, according to awfulplasticsurgery (hugely entertaining and actually pretty interesting if you haven't yet come across it), that is indeed collagen, just she's had it forever. Lisa Rinna must've been an early adopter, I reckon.
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005610.html
16 of 23 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on January 6, 2006 9:13 PM
Everyime I see George Hamilton, I chant, "Two bits, Four bits, six bits a peso, all for Zoro, stand up and say so!!!"
17 of 23 | Posted by Helenann
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Posted on January 7, 2006 1:44 AM
I feel bad hating on people's appearance (Who'm I kidding? Anyone fall for that?) But Lisa Rinna gives me the ultimate creeps. When someone's mouth looks like a cows butthole it causes me to cringe and look away. Lisa Rinna and I could not have dinner together. Incidentally Harry Hamelin makes me do this too, the cringe and turn.
18 of 23 | Posted by Lizardqueen
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Posted on January 7, 2006 5:22 AM
Problem with Lisa Rinna/Harry Hamlin is that they rather look alike (lately they even have the same freakin' hairstyle), which always manages to thoroughly creep me out. They do seem quite happy though, if there's a lesson to be learned.
http://www.filmstew.com/Users/PhotoFinish/307/HarryHamlinLisaRinna.jpg
(Noah Wyle and his wife absolutely take the cake in this department, though *shudder*)
19 of 23 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on January 7, 2006 8:49 AM
Chronic,
I checked out that web site and couldn't see the photos. It sounds interesting though. Anyone know why I wouldn't be able to see the photos?
20 of 23 | Posted by suebee
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Posted on January 8, 2006 6:05 PM
Oop, not sure why the link doesn't work. But you can always just skip the middleman and do a google image search for Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin; you'll find plenty of damning evidence lickety split.
Oh, Tommy Hilfiger and his ex-wife are another troubling example. Could only find this photo (google). Sick. http://www.americanphoto.co.jp/pages/celebrity/H/Hilfiger_Tommy/Previews/Plans-59539.jpg
21 of 23 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on January 9, 2006 8:15 AM
Chronic,
I didn't realize you posted the other link. I was referring to awful plastic surgery. Thanks for responding, though.
22 of 23 | Posted by suebee
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Posted on January 9, 2006 9:37 AM
Chronic,
It works. It must have been my home computer. I am doing this at work now which is exactly what I don't need to be doing!
23 of 23 | Posted by suebee
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Posted on January 9, 2006 9:40 AM