November 15, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Oops. Methed Up.

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results, Len makes this face. I cannot stress enough: botox doesn't make you look younger. Just scarier. STOP IT, AMERICA!

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November 14, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: Decades of Dancing Nightmares

This week on Dancing With The Stars: the final five "stars" get down to business with two dances each.


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Apparently, their business involves shiny plastic vaginas.

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November 8, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Same Ole Song

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results, MethFace gets puddin' on his face, Courtney Cox is a Visitor, and Bruno stains his pants.

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Help Rod Stewart! He's having some sort of an attack! Wait. He's singing some raspy ass bs song? Let him go.

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November 5, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: What Else Can We Come Up With to Fill Two Whole Hours?

This week on Dancing With The Stars: In order to fill the two hours we're allotted with only 7 couples remaining, we're going to have a team dance competition!


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Should have named them Team Douche-o and Team Wango.

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November 1, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Dance Off!

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results: illegal alien band, hate crimes against handicap people, and a midget suicide! Come on in!

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Better be careful wearing that shirt around MethFace. He's totally gonna try to break you open.

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October 29, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: Who Cares, Maks is Gone Again

This week on Dancing With The Stars: With the threat of a double elimination looming, our dancers settle their differences by virtue of a dance war!


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Whoever originally said the quote, "Make Love, Not War" definitely did not have this in mind.

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October 26, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Norah Jonezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This week on Dancing With the Stars Results: Nora Jones pulls a Flash Forward and America revolts against skinny blondes.

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They should have made her sing "Thriller".

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October 25, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Flu Invades (Too Bad it Wasn't The Plague)

This week on Dancing With The Stars: The Flu Attacks. Mark Balls and Ken Doll are infected, Ken Doll overwhelmed to the point of temporary decommission. Will we ever be able to Paso Doble or Argentine Tango without our favorite Dancing Doll Action Figure?

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Replace the "F" with a "G" and the "LU" with an "AY" and you've got Ken Doll's real problem.

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October 18, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Honk for Shakira

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results, people dance! And then get kicked off!

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Hey! I want one!

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October 15, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: Four new ways to make an ass out of yourself!

This week on Dancing With The Stars: Our couples will be assigned one of four never before seen dance styles! Lambada! Cheesier than porn! Bolero! What the eff is that? Country 2-Step! Get the soon to be released instructional video at Walmart! Charleston! Just for Donny Osmond!


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This is my excited face. You just can't tell because it's had more work done on it than an '85 Ford Truck!

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November 15, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Oops. Methed Up.
November 14, 2009:Dancing With The Stars: Decades of Dancing Nightmares
November 8, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Same Ole Song
November 5, 2009:Dancing With The Stars: What Else Can We Come Up With to Fill Two Whole Hours?
November 1, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Dance Off!
October 29, 2009:Dancing With The Stars: Who Cares, Maks is Gone Again
October 26, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Norah Jonezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
October 25, 2009:Dancing With The Stars: The Flu Invades (Too Bad it Wasn't The Plague)
October 18, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Honk for Shakira
October 15, 2009:Dancing With The Stars: Four new ways to make an ass out of yourself!
October 3, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Flying Midgets and Stefani Cinnabons
September 28, 2009:Dancing With the Stars Results PicCap: Beautiful in its Own Bizarre Way
September 26, 2009:Dancing With The Stars: Fruit Bar
September 23, 2009:Dancing With the Stars: Five Hours a Week is a Part Time Job
December 1, 2008:Dancing with the Stars Updated: "Samba la Vista, Baby"
November 22, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Just Do It Right!
November 13, 2008:Dancing With the Stars: Solo-tary Confinement
November 9, 2008:Dancing With the Stars: Screwin the Looch
November 1, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Mark Your Calendars, Today is the Day Hip-Hop Died
October 24, 2008:Dancing With the Stars: Seriously, Let's Just Give the Trophy to Brooke Burke Already
October 19, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: A Second Chance and No Thanks
October 9, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: You Started Like a Twinkling Twinkie!
October 2, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Rocco's Stallion Runs Out of Juice
September 26, 2008:Dancing With The Stars: I'm Way Too Manly for This Show
September 24, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: The Most Ungangly Carnage Since Cloverfield 3
May 21, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Round the Corner...
May 10, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: ONE! Hundreth Episode of Dancing, Drama and D-Listers!
May 7, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Judges Don't Drink the Black and Tan
May 2, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: OOhh! Cool Leather Undershirts! Oh God. They're Not Wearing Undershirts!
May 1, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: When Good Bodies Go Bad
April 29, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Someone Call the WAAAAAmbulance!
:Dancing with the Stars: Rootin' Tootin' Cluster-Fuck!
:Dancing with the Stars: Raise Your Hand If You Support Child Labor Laws in Dance Competitions!
April 21, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Peek-a-Boo! It's Me... Len. And I'm Waaaaatching...
April 10, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Laugh Until You Die A Little Inside
:Dancing with the Stars: Gonna Make You Sweat!
April 3, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: A Believer Does Not a Dancer Make
April 2, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: SHOCKING!
March 31, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: ARIGATO ROBOTO!
March 29, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Penn is an Asshole
March 21, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Domo Arigato "Monica" Roboto!
March 19, 2008:Dancing with the Stars: Steve Guttenberg Lives!
November 26, 2007:Dancing With the Stars: Show and Results: Three! Three! Three Weeks In One!
November 3, 2007:Dancing With the Stars: Show and Results: Cheetahs Never Prosper
October 28, 2007:Dancing With The Stars Results: Jennie From The Block Goes Slumming
October 27, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: On The Floor In More Ways Than One
October 20, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: The Smile Has Left Your Eyes
October 19, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: You Lift Me Up
October 13, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: Will The Crazy Swamp Bear Run Amuck?
October 11, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: Like Chicken Man, It's Everywhere
October 6, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: The Easy Way Out
October 4, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: Triple Sevens...Great For Slots; Unsatisfying For Scores
September 28, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: The First Cut Is the Deepest
September 27, 2007:Dancing With The Stars...Who The Hell Are These Guys?
September 26, 2007:Dancing With The Stars: Dancing With the Past-Their-Primes and Somewhat Familiars
November 16, 2006:Recap: Dancing With The Stars: The Grande Finale! Twinkle Toes vs. Dimple Face!
November 14, 2006:Recap: Dancing with the Stars: Not So Strictly Ballroom
November 8, 2006:Recap: Dancing with the Stars: We Have Our Finalists!
:Clipgasm: Say What? Edition
November 7, 2006:Recap: Dancing with the Stars: Best Semi-Finals Ever?
November 2, 2006:Recap: Dancing with the Stars Results: Girls Night Out?
November 1, 2006:Recap: Dancing with the Stars: The Dance Macabre!
October 26, 2006:A Ten-uous Situation?
October 18, 2006:Panic At The Disco!
October 13, 2006:Boogie Nights & Sara Evans: A Little Too Close To Home
:She's Never Gonna Dance Again...
October 11, 2006:TVgasm Infiltrates Dancing With The Stars!
October 5, 2006:Fox Trotting Away?
September 27, 2006:Breakin' All The Rules!
September 20, 2006:Whoa!
September 13, 2006:Everybody Dance Now!
September 12, 2006:Why No One Will Be Better Than Joey Lawrence At Dancing This Fall
September 11, 2006:Super Mario!
September 8, 2006:Let the Campaigning Begin!
May 10, 2006:Time With Tom Bergeron
February 27, 2006:Save The Last Dance
February 24, 2006:Dancing With The Stars Cowboys Up
February 23, 2006:Nearing The End...
February 15, 2006:It's A Dance, Dance Revolution!
February 9, 2006:I Don't Think You Can Handle This
January 30, 2006:It's A Thriller!
January 24, 2006:Oh Stewardess! I Speak Jive
January 16, 2006:All Sizzle, All Sausage!
January 7, 2006:Don't Quit Your Day Job
January 6, 2006:Hold Me Close My Crazy Dancer
December 28, 2005:Once More, With Feeling!
September 21, 2005:The Dance-Off to End All Dance-Offs
July 28, 2005:Is Kelly's Win Really That Bad?
July 7, 2005:Kelly Monaco: 13 Going on 30
July 1, 2005:Crazy Like a Fox(trot)
June 30, 2005:Spicy!
June 23, 2005:Let Me See Your Samba Roll
June 9, 2005:Let's Get Ready to Rumbaaa!!!
June 5, 2005:Dancing with the Stars - Great Ratings, Average Show