We see our contestants and whhaaa?! Why are they wearing the same outfits as the night before?! Grrrooosss! They were all sweaty in those things the night before and now they wear them again?! I'm sure Penn's used to wearing the same thing everyday but come on - this is TV!

Tom introduces the first of a bajillion recap clips. Penn and Kym bitch about the judges making fun of the size of Penn's feet:

Kym now knows what the floor of a cheap whore-house smells like.

A very sweaty and/or greasy Guttenberg tells us he's already won because he gets to dance with Anna - she doesn't seem as excited:

Is that my mother's lip gloss on your face?!

Carolla and Julianne try to do the math of their scores but lil' Julianne just can't seem to piece it together. Adam comments, "It's ok, you don't need to know math - you're hot!"

Sadly, she takes this as the best compliment EVER:

We then see Cristian and Cheryl - and HE'S sweaty/greasy too!

EW! Ok -is there not a make-up crew on this show or is it that they are put directly under French fry lights? Gross. If I wanted to watch Cristian get this sweaty I'd tell him the INS was backstage waiting for him.

Priscilla says she's better off when she dances if she just "Lets it go and doesn't think". Well... I'd say 95% of the people on that show should be able to do that with NO problem.

Mario thanks Carrie for calling him "HOT" to which Karina gets pissed and shoves him off.

In the meantime her stomach looks like Larry King's forehead. Ouch.

Jason cries that he'll have to go back to playing football for a ton of money if this doesn't work out. Must be rough.

Meanwhile Edyta has a permanent smile on her face. I'm guessing it has something to with something that's black and roughly the same size as a bread box.

Tom goes to the judges and asks Len to choose a couple to dance again. Since Len obviously has a permanent Viagra-induced boner for Jason - he asks for him and Edyta to dance the Mambo again.

They perform their Mambo again. No difference from the night before - except perhaps for some added sexual tension. Those two are totally doing the horizontal mambo.

Tom goes over the ranking of the gentlemen. Penn's at the bottom (where he should be) and Jason and Mario are at the top. Apparently white men can't jump OR dance. But who didn't see that coming?!

Tom and Useless Samantha introduce the first elimination segment and tell us that "having combined the judge's scores with your votes we will reveal the first couple to move on". WHAT?! The judges scores actually count!? Wait - so if 100,000 people vote for Cristian they add all 41 points from the judges to make it 100,041? That makes no friggin' sense. Do the judges votes count more?! Someone explain this to me?! The math is stifling. Such excelled shit for reality TV.

The first couple safe is the Gut and Anna! Steve's just as surprised as I am. He's screwed once Penn is out of the competition.

Before commercial break we see a shot of the "Jonas Brothers" who are about to perform.

They look like the Cohen brothers with their trannie sister in the middle.

After commercial the Jonas Brother perform their totally wretched cover of "Take on Me". Umm - do these guys have any talent other than the ability to raid Billy Idol's closet? And God help us when their voices change. It's going to be like Hanson all over again. And the trannie looking one reminds me of Cher with a very bad haircut:

Whoa!!! It's a hot trannie mess!

And what's up with mutton-chops!

Better be careful little one - there's a cougar on the block named Priscilla - and you don't want to know what happened to the last guy with mutton-chops that crossed her path!

All things aside, it was nice to see the professionals dance to the song since they weren't being bogged down by their deadweight celebrity partners. Bravo!

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Posted in Dancing with the Stars by bBitz at 2:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Last Comment: oodle_noodle on Mar 31, 2008 06:28 PM.