This week's show embraced the Halloween theme to the hilt: the dancer were decked out in dark, "scary" makeup, pumpkins adorned the stage, and the entire dance floor was covered in smoke -- almost as if it were a veritable graveyard to such hopeful hoofers as Vivica A. Fox, Jerry Springer, and Tucker Carlson. Additionally, an extreme closeup shot revealed that none other than Len Goodman had sprouted a set of fangs in his mouth (personally, I always saw him as more of an unwrapped mummy).

Later we found out that Len wasn't the only one thirsting for blood: all the other judges and Joey Lawrence were rockin' the fangs, and while her teeth looked normal, Samantha Harris tried to hone her inner Dracula too by attempting a labored, awful Transylvanian accent (and evil laugh). In true Sammy Har form, it was awful/amazing.

Yes...

YES...

YES!!!!!

As for the dancing, it was the same old, same old. Each team would again be performing two different styles that were new to them: one ballroom, one latin. Was it me, or did previous seasons have more variety? (And shorter episodes, good GOD!) Anyway, enough carping. On to the show!

Joey & Edyta

This week, Joey's big task was to learn the tango and the paso doble -- two infamously passionate and intense dances. He also had to build on the momentum he had gathered from last week's show, and what better way to do that than to draw some inspiration from the fam. That's right, brothers Matthew and Andy (a.k.a. the Lawrences with hair) stopped by the rehearsal space to lend some support and learn a few steps from Edyta (read: stare at her breasts).

After this goofy video was done, we moved onto the tango, which was performed to the smoldering tune of... The Adams Family? That's right, as the house band sang the famous "They're creepy, and they're kooky..." refrain, Joey and Edyta bounded across the floor in a cartoonish but highly entertaining tango. The entire experience was slightly surreal, but in the end, the judges all loved it, with Len calling it "fantastic." Incidentally, Len also nearly called Joey "Jerry" and seemed to need a few seconds to remember the actor's real name. Nevertheless, Joey earned a ten from Carrie Ann INABA and nines from Len and Bruno for a total of twenty-eight points. As you can imagine, the bobblefangs were going at full force.

Mario & Karina

Next up were Mario and Karina with the waltz. The video package preceding their first dance wasn't entirely interesting. It was merely just an ode to stress as the two bickered endlessly about their upcoming performance. Surprisingly, the segment featured not one family member nor a trip to a spa. Blasphemy! These videos have jumped the shark!

Anyway, Mario revealed to us that in the waltz, he'd be playing a man mourning the loss of his love who gets the chance to say goodbye through the interpretative powers of dance. Basically, it was Ghost on parquet. "Kind of gives me goosebumps," Mario told us in his "This is my humble voice" voice.