As much as I am going to make fun of this obvious attempt by ABC to distract viewers from the Big Brother finale, I do have to say that I really loved hearing that music once again. If you need a reminder, listen to it again. And then we have the return of our hosts, Tom Bergeron and Lisa Canning. Who would dare laugh at their desperate attempts at legitimacy? You know who? THIS GUY!

But to be completely honest, it's not like we need to pick on Tom and Lisa, because the dancers are enough entertainment on their own. Take Kelly Monaco (please!). Her first outfit consisted of a red dress that sort of looked like she painted licorice on herself, except that Rachael Ray had seen it first and nibbled a bunch of holes in it. But there I go getting ahead of myself again. We can't have a dancing segment unless we first do a flashback and look at all the hard work it took to get there.

For Kelly Monaco, Dancing With the Stars was a real accomplishment. I know nothing about her career, so maybe I am wrong when I say that her career was headed towards Daytime Emmy levels of prestige. In other words, she would only be popular amongst a subset of our society that considers a recurring role on General Hospital and appearances in Playboy lingerie shoots as the pinnacle of show business. Kelly learned something else when she became a dancing star, and she was not the only one. The viewers at home learned a lesson when she won, namely the people that consider a recurring role on General Hospital and appearances in Playboy lingerie shoots as the pinnacle of show business outnumber the people who think J Peterman rocks. These are sad times we live in.