First is Chris, 26, Commodity Trader, CEO. That sounds like an actual job, do they have those in LA? No they don't. Chris flew in from Chicago because Jo is someone he can see himself being with for a long time. Wait a second. Chris flew in from Chicago for this nonsense? And not only did he make a cross-country trek, but he did it because he can see Jo being a long-term keeper? Is he joking? There must be something in this for him. His company must be getting a plug. His dad must be one of the producers. His mom must have lost a bet to Jo's mom in high school. This is ridiculous. Blonde Bangs brings him into the kitchen to make breakfast and tells him that eggs are his bit. Next comes Micah, 27, Artist, also known as unemployed. These guys all must be trying to be actors and that's why they have all this free time and have agreed to spend it pretending to like Jo. Micah says that he can describe himself in one word: conundrum. Oh boy, another guy who thinks he's an unsolvable mystery. The jig is up, Micah. You're here and that tells us all we need to know about you. Riddle, or conundrum, solved. He says he has no expectations as far as Jo is concerned. Micah meets Chris and immediately wonders if he is at all adventurous or spontaneous, like he, the glorious artist. Finally we meet Vlad, 24, Marketing Coordinator (finally a real LA job!), and Russian. He says he doesn't want Jo to think of him as just the Russian, but that there's no way she'll be able to resist him. Vlad is assigned to fruit salad. Vlad claims that he's used to ladies cooking for him and not the other way around. Ah, communism.

The three new suckers carry their hard work out to serve it to... David, Lucas and Zack, our three dubious winners so far, and of course there sits King Slade on his throne of douchiness. The guys all start sizing each other up and patting themselves on the back for being hot crap. Slade asks the newcomers if they know what he does. Vlad says, "No, what do you do?" Slade explains that he is very good friends with Jo and Micah asks if they dated. Slade says, "She's my ex-fiancée." And he says this jerking his head this way and that all proudly. Oh Micah, how could you not know such important information? Vlad goes, "I'm sorry, what is it that you do again?" HA! LOL, Vlad. That is a question to which no one has an answer. Slade is not happy and informs everyone that he's here to make sure that Jo's best interests are attended to. Also to get face time with the camera, of course. Blonde Bangs explains the rules to the newcomers, then Slade takes them to their barracks. Chris tells us that he lived in a fraternity house with 76 guys, so he doesn't think this little situation will be a problem. Knowing the fraternity houses I've been so unfortunate as to see, I'm guessing that Chris and his 76 brothers shared a four bedroom house.

And over at Casa de la Airhead, a brand new hot pink polka dot hat box is arriving. Jo takes a break from her strenuous task of slicing an orange to read the note. It says, "Jo, planning a date is truly an art form. Hopefully you won't give me the brush-off. -Micah." She pulls out a ruffly pink apron. I'm sure she'll put that right on over whatever thong-free outfit she chooses today.

"You'll never solve me."

« Big Brother: The Judas Colony | | Million Dollar Listing: And so it Began »

Posted in Date My Ex by Honey Gangsta at 7:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: Fart_Storm on Aug 19, 2008 07:15 AM.