Chris's theory is that Slade isn't really sorry, it's just that his ego got in the way and he had to explain himself. He also says that whoever ends up dating Jo is going to be dealing with Slade all the time. Oh Chris, you are way over-thinking this. Meanwhile Slade is headed for a lounge somewhere else in the hotel to hit up the girls. I'm so glad these people got out of wretched LA so that they could clear their minds sitting around inside the lobby and bar of a hotel (of which LA has none, obviously). Great thinking, geniuses!
"I'm like, so glad we got out of LA. I just can not THINK in the hotel lounges up there."
The girls are working on ridding themselves of their own sobriety when Slade approaches to proudly announce that he is the bigger man and has apologized to the guys and is here to say good luck.
"Gosh I'm incredible."
Jo does her puppy dog smile-pout and stares at Slade for an extended period of time before telling us how proud she is of Slade for being so amazing and impressive. Yes, the entire nation is in awe. He is a selfless hero and we should all take a day off of work to celebrate Slade Smiley. Smiley Day. It's a three day weekend! Slade drives away patting himself on the back with vigor.
Blonde Bangs joins the boys 20 feet away in the bar and tells them that they are going on one last date with Jo before she makes her Final Decision. Do we really have to hear everything three or four times on this show? We know! There are more dates and then Jo won't be able to decide. She'll put on more makeup and scrunch up her face, say everything is cute and she doesn't know what to do. Please. It's hard enough to watch, let's not have to talk about it over and over. Anyway Lucas will have his date first. He's really sad to have to stop hanging with Chris, but he'll do it for the good of the show!
Upstairs Jo is busy putting on a tank top that she claims is a dress. Even the Dingbat Duo tell her that they can see her hoolahay and she needs to put on pants. Jo says they're being silly - she's wearing boots, isn't she? And it's downstairs to meet Lucas! They have a joyful reunion and head off to a park to sit around and coo at each other. She tells us that Lucas is so wonderful because she can have so much fun with him and just be herself. As they sit there, Jo says to Lucas that their outfits kind of match. No, Jo, Lucas actually got dressed. Lucas decides to make a speech proclaiming his intentions. He talks about how much fun he's had since the beginning, but now he's realizing how real this is for him and that he's falling for Jo. Jo is thrilled to hear that someone is falling for her and she tells us that her heart dropped when he said that. Oh look, Lucas has a present. He's visited the Build-A-Bear Workshop and made Jo a teddy bear wearing a dress so short you can see its privates. It's a Jo Bear!
"How CUTE! It's not wearing pants!"
And there's more. When you push on the bear's little clutch purse there is a recorded message from Lucas. I was totally expecting it to be something like, "Jo's a hottie." Or "Hey Jo, I miss you." You know, just a sweet little phrase. But the recording goes on and on - Lucas first introduces himself, then says he hopes she likes the bear, then that he's thinking of her, and then that he can't wait to spend more time together. Wow, I bet she'll be pressing that little clutch purse day in and day out to repeatedly hear that speech. Jo thinks it's... CUTE.
It turns out there's a wishing well and so Jo and Lucas both go and throw pennies into it. Jo says that her wish was that she can figure out whom to choose. Shocking. Ew, it's kissy time. Jo perches on Lucas's lap and does some of her signature bad kissing. Jo says, "You're cute." Lucas says, "You're cute." Man, these two would have an exciting life together!
For Chris's date, Jo decides to actually wear pants. That's nice of you, Jo. America says thank you. Chris tells us he wants to show Jo more about himself and become more vulnerable. No thanks, Chris.
"Where is Lucas to shave my back?"
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Comments (9)
Is this show STILL on? Seriously?
1 of 9 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:15 PM
Oh - its the last one. Thank God!
Honey Gangsta, I applaud you for recapping such a horrible show.
2 of 9 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:18 PM
Can we please all pray that they don't do this next season with Jo trying to find someone for Slade???
3 of 9 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:29 PM
Jo needs to take a step back on the tanning. Her skin is the color of tree bark.
4 of 9 | Posted by Mamablanks | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:06 PM
Honey, great job. You survived, and we with you.
I still can't believe that Bravo made a show about this dumb ho, but who am I to censure them - I'm the idiot who actually watched it!
It is really unbelievable how dumb this girl is. When she was in San Diego with Chris, she proudly told us that they went to the 'BUFFALLO park'. I almost died laughing. It is 'BALBOA park', but apparently she was too busy thinking about making out with the guys (or too drunk already) to read her queue card properly.
Isn't it amazing how much alcohol she can consume? Oh, now I understand why she is whoring herself out for the 15 seconds of fame - because those are her last days to do it. In a couple of years she will look and sound like an old hag who spent her life dancing on the pole inhaling smoke and alcohol fumes.
I knew last week she was not going to pick Chris. It was her little revange for the show producers making her beg him on her knees to stay. When she was begging him, it was written all over her face and in her eyes that he will pay for her humiliation.
I can't say I wish both guys well, since they are obviously idiots - simply by the virtue of coming on this ho-show, but I do not have any ill will towards them. Jo-Ho and Slade-Duchebag are a different story - if they fall off the face of the Earth tomorrow it will not come too soon. They have absolutely nothing to offer human race, and they totally deserve each other. It would be a real unjustice for either of them to be sprang on a 'normal'person. So hopefully they are aleady back together, like they planned from the beginning, and maybe with the money that Bravo gave them they will move to some fucking island in the middle of the Atlantic that lies in the path of all the future hurricaces. Let Mother Nature take care of them.
Alleluja, I'm delighted this crap is O-V-E-R!. Love you honey Gangsta, see ya on your other recaps.
5 of 9 | Posted by renata | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:12 PM
best show ever filmed. In history.
6 of 9 | Posted by Fart_Storm | Posted on September 12, 2008 8:25 AM
I am so happy this dribble is over with ! She is a real winner.. or whiner..
I found myself watching this train wreck in secret, as I could not admit to ANYONE I actually caught some of these episodes. If you noticed, that Slade's house is not the one from housewives, apparently that went into foreclosure. Sad because he was a mortgage broker.
Notice how we never ( that I can remember ) did you see his Hummer or her Mercedes or Beemer - whatever the little twit was driving. Also, that wasn't the same apartment either that Joe and her friend were moving into..
courtesy of Bravo I assume
I hope that I never ever have to see these too reality ho-bags again
7 of 9 | Posted by pyper | Posted on September 12, 2008 1:26 PM
HoneyGangsta - Thank you once again for recapping this awful drivel so I didn't have to watch it in person. You kept me laughing and hating Jo right through the anti-climatic ending.
And your assessment of guys wearing v-necks? Word! I don't get it at all. It's only a good look for someone with boobs.
8 of 9 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on September 13, 2008 9:03 PM
I Liked this show, it looks like i'm alone on that one! They didn't replay the finale and I never got to see it. I do like Slade the best out of all the Dweebs that were his house, and give him props for his patience with all of them. I would have knocked David out long before he made him leave, and I would have kicked Lucas out as well for being such a arrogant a$$-hole. I liked it anyone else?
9 of 9 | Posted by pj0lson | Posted on September 29, 2008 4:00 PM