Jo asks the girls to have a cocktail ready for her when she gets home because she has some deep serious thinking to do. That sounds about right.
Jo and Chris embrace and head off on their date to a lighthouse. Jo has a hard time going up the path because it is, in fact, outdoors and she is, of course, wearing stilettos.
"Couldn't we have just stayed in the hotel lobby? It was clean in there."
By the way, Chris is wearing a very deep V-neck t-shirt and Lucas was wearing an even deeper one before. What is up with that? It is not flattering or masculine at all. Anyway, Chris has set out a little pail full of ice and a champagne bottle. Next to the bottle are some potted hydrangeas, which Jo thinks Chris has brought in just for her. She gushes, "Hydrangeas! My favorite!" Chris is like, "Uh, exactly." My theory is that those are part of the lighthouse grounds and Chris caught a lucky break. Chris goes to pop the champagne bottle, or "shoot" it, and as he struggles with it, Jo does baby talk, "You look kinda sexy when you shoot." Ugh. Shut up. As they sit and sip, they discuss that this would be their life if they were married. What, just sitting around drinking? Probably yes, except you'd hate each other. Jo asks - again! - what Chris wants out of this. This is such a thinly veiled attempt to get Chris to tell Jo how wonderful she is and how much she deserves, and he happily obliges. She tells us she's really impressed that Chris isn't afraid to share all of that with her. Of course you are, Jo. He says something about falling in love, and Jo says she feels safe with him. Then Chris says, "You have my heart. What are you going to do with it?" Jo says her heart melted when he said that. More bad kissing.
Back at the Ivy Hotel, the girls are having drinks at the bar in their suite. Are these people ever sober? Jo bellies up to the bar and requests more alcohol.
"Yeah, all Chris brought was champagne, can you believe it?"
Here are her grand revelations of the day: With Chris she can talk about anything. Like life and real... things. Wow Jo. How long did it take your brain to formulate that thought? With Lucas it's fun, laughing... fun, fun, fun. She's not sure which she wants. Blonde Bangs says Jo has to choose between love and fun. Brunette Friend thinks Jo should get love AND fun. This is getting more profound by the second! What will happen next? Brunette Friend thinks Jo needs someone to play with or she'll get bored. Blonde Bangs disagrees. Jo's dated the fun guys, but it's time to find someone with real potential. Brunette Friend brings up the hectic schedule of Jo the Recording Artist. Will either of these guys be able to keep up? Blonde Bangs' big argument: You can't control who you love. Ultimately all three girls shrug their shoulders and drink up. And I think we can safely assume that about sums up the rest of their lives as well.
The next segment is Jo doing a series of flashbacks tracing her "journey" with each guy. I will certainly not entertain this. It's been seen, written about, mocked, and vomited on. See previous recaps if you would like to relive the horror.
The guys preen to get ready for the Final Decision. They both yammer about wanting to be the winner because Jo is such a prize and a catch. Uh huh. For some reason unbeknownst to humankind, Jo deems it appropriate to call Slade. Wait, I know. She's wasted. This is nothing but a drunk dial. She says she wouldn't feel good about going into the Elimination without talking to Slade first because he's her best friend and like family. So she gets him on the phone, tells him it's time for the Big One, then refuses to tell him who she's choosing. Well, this was another waste of precious brain activity.
"Jo tries desperately to keep her balance and focus her pupils."
Blonde Bangs greets Jo on the Elimination Patio and tells her she's on her own this time. Also that love conquers all. Whatever, here comes Chris. Jo gives the expected speech about how comfortable she feels with Chris, that they have familiarity, that Chris notices all the little things, he makes her feel like a woman, he's romantic and he's swept her off her feet.
"Do I smell whiskey shots?"
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Comments (9)
Is this show STILL on? Seriously?
1 of 9 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:15 PM
Oh - its the last one. Thank God!
Honey Gangsta, I applaud you for recapping such a horrible show.
2 of 9 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:18 PM
Can we please all pray that they don't do this next season with Jo trying to find someone for Slade???
3 of 9 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 11, 2008 3:29 PM
Jo needs to take a step back on the tanning. Her skin is the color of tree bark.
4 of 9 | Posted by Mamablanks | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:06 PM
Honey, great job. You survived, and we with you.
I still can't believe that Bravo made a show about this dumb ho, but who am I to censure them - I'm the idiot who actually watched it!
It is really unbelievable how dumb this girl is. When she was in San Diego with Chris, she proudly told us that they went to the 'BUFFALLO park'. I almost died laughing. It is 'BALBOA park', but apparently she was too busy thinking about making out with the guys (or too drunk already) to read her queue card properly.
Isn't it amazing how much alcohol she can consume? Oh, now I understand why she is whoring herself out for the 15 seconds of fame - because those are her last days to do it. In a couple of years she will look and sound like an old hag who spent her life dancing on the pole inhaling smoke and alcohol fumes.
I knew last week she was not going to pick Chris. It was her little revange for the show producers making her beg him on her knees to stay. When she was begging him, it was written all over her face and in her eyes that he will pay for her humiliation.
I can't say I wish both guys well, since they are obviously idiots - simply by the virtue of coming on this ho-show, but I do not have any ill will towards them. Jo-Ho and Slade-Duchebag are a different story - if they fall off the face of the Earth tomorrow it will not come too soon. They have absolutely nothing to offer human race, and they totally deserve each other. It would be a real unjustice for either of them to be sprang on a 'normal'person. So hopefully they are aleady back together, like they planned from the beginning, and maybe with the money that Bravo gave them they will move to some fucking island in the middle of the Atlantic that lies in the path of all the future hurricaces. Let Mother Nature take care of them.
Alleluja, I'm delighted this crap is O-V-E-R!. Love you honey Gangsta, see ya on your other recaps.
5 of 9 | Posted by renata | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:12 PM
best show ever filmed. In history.
6 of 9 | Posted by Fart_Storm | Posted on September 12, 2008 8:25 AM
I am so happy this dribble is over with ! She is a real winner.. or whiner..
I found myself watching this train wreck in secret, as I could not admit to ANYONE I actually caught some of these episodes. If you noticed, that Slade's house is not the one from housewives, apparently that went into foreclosure. Sad because he was a mortgage broker.
Notice how we never ( that I can remember ) did you see his Hummer or her Mercedes or Beemer - whatever the little twit was driving. Also, that wasn't the same apartment either that Joe and her friend were moving into..
courtesy of Bravo I assume
I hope that I never ever have to see these too reality ho-bags again
7 of 9 | Posted by pyper | Posted on September 12, 2008 1:26 PM
HoneyGangsta - Thank you once again for recapping this awful drivel so I didn't have to watch it in person. You kept me laughing and hating Jo right through the anti-climatic ending.
And your assessment of guys wearing v-necks? Word! I don't get it at all. It's only a good look for someone with boobs.
8 of 9 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on September 13, 2008 9:03 PM
I Liked this show, it looks like i'm alone on that one! They didn't replay the finale and I never got to see it. I do like Slade the best out of all the Dweebs that were his house, and give him props for his patience with all of them. I would have knocked David out long before he made him leave, and I would have kicked Lucas out as well for being such a arrogant a$$-hole. I liked it anyone else?
9 of 9 | Posted by pj0lson | Posted on September 29, 2008 4:00 PM