"We're totally over each other."
So here we are, back for another excruciating episode of Date My Ex. We have to first backtrack and watch Jo pretend to be shocked again that Slade has the gall to participate in this ordeal she's going through - as if they didn't come up with this together. So after reliving last week's horror, we join Jo and Brunette Friend doing charity work at a homeless shelter. Yeah right! They're shopping in Beverly Hills. Jo answers her phone to Slade calling her "Chiquita Banana," which of course she thinks is precious, but I find slightly racist, or at least highly idiotic. Slade wants to know if she's ready for Round Two. What do you think? Is Jo ready for more camera time? Slade teases that her next date is with a dwarf. Oh these two. Who wouldn't love them? You know, I'm pretty sure Slade has nothing to do with selecting the dates because he seems genuinely curious to meet them as they arrive at "his" house.
First we meet Lucas, 26, Business Development Manager. So he's in sales. Can they be any more vague here? I mean he might sell marijuana at the side of the road and that could be construed into Business Development Manager. Anyway, Lucas is wearing a necklace that goes down to his belly button and he has a big scar across his left cheek. He plans to keep Jo laughing. Next is Ali, 28, Musician. That one's pretty clear... unemployed. Ali thinks he has an advantage being that he and Jo are both "aspiring musicians." He wants to fall in love. And finally we have Tyler, 29, Realtor. Well, there's plenty of real estate in LA so Tyler may actually have a legitimate job. He thinks he's going to give Jo a "real original experience." How about a "real ESTATE experience," Tyler?
Date My Ex Barbie
Blonde Bangs explains that each guy will go on a date with Jo and then she'll choose one of them to stick around. I'm afraid we're going to get this speech every week. I'm a little puzzled that there are only three guys, but at this point I'm thinking that David, who won last week, will be the fourth guy and take Jo on a second date. And speaking of that genius, here he comes strutting out from the back hallway to make his presence known. And I do mean strutting. Someone thinks he's already graduated to Slade Status.
"Did someone call for a manager?"
Ah, and here comes Slade. He poses in the middle of the room with his arms folded and his weight on one foot. He looks over each guy in turn and then says, "Gentlemen, for your sake I hope you ARE gentlemen. And there's a reason you were brought here. Because nobody gets to Jo without going through me. And the one suggestion I have for you all... is watch yourselves. Because I'm going to be watching you." When he finishes he breaks into his self-satisfied smirk. My gosh, I wish I had someone this charming to speak for me. I want everyone to think I rely on the whims of a complete moron. With no life of his own. Except his son who is in the hospital with brain cancer, but no time for that now - Jo has blind dates to go on! This guy is just a turd.
And you can't polish a turd.
Slade hands the new guys off to David to take a tour of their living quarters. David smugly announces that he has been upgraded to a bedroom with only two twin beds instead of four. This means he has advanced past first date status. He tells the guys they are staying in the B-List room, and they must now try to make it to his glorious level. When Ali announces he's a musician, David says he started out his managing career in music, but quickly realized there is no money in music. Jeepers, I could have sworn that last week he said he wanted to manage Jo - who is recording an album - but what do I know? I'm no Jo De La Rosa.
Bachelor #1 - Tyler
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Comments (9)
Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE this bitch, and Slade makes me ashamed to be male. This show is nothing but a Tool Parade featuring The Worst Of L.A. Fake. I love how you're spinning it, Honey...
love, J-Mo :)
1 of 9 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 30, 2008 7:40 PM
I LOVE you Honey Gansta!! Your in depth point of view into the lives of these people who's lives are so real and true is so amazing!!! Thank you for your wonderful insight!!! GO HONEY GANGSTA!!!!!!
2 of 9 | Posted by wjod | Posted on July 31, 2008 10:26 AM
Don't watch. Your recaps do not inspire me to start.
Keep up the good work!
3 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 31, 2008 11:04 AM
Yay, finally a show I have no desire to watch, and yet still want to make fun of, so I can just read the recaps. Really funny stuff, keep it coming :)
4 of 9 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on July 31, 2008 11:17 AM
I have to agree with the previous commenters, I actually feel like I'm completing a public service by NOT watching this show ... the recaps are TOP NOTCH! Well done, HG! :)
5 of 9 | Posted by chelle | Posted on July 31, 2008 12:48 PM
THANK YOU~
For mentioning that her apt looks like Heidi and Lauren first apt. Any Hills connection makes a recap A= for me! Love it, love you!
6 of 9 | Posted by fnllover | Posted on July 31, 2008 3:14 PM
I will NOT watch this show because I NEED my brain cells. But I WILL read your recaps--they're hilarious.
(and every time I think of Slade's RHOOC house in foreclosure, I smile a little).
7 of 9 | Posted by silver | Posted on July 31, 2008 8:28 PM
Not sure if anyone remembers this, but on RHOOC Gina convinced Vicki to let Slade keep his stuff in her garage temporarily. I wonder if it was related to the forclosure.
Also, I wonder if his storage unit full of bizarre costumes was seized by the bank to pay his mortgage. Am I the only one that remembers this? I think it was season 1 of RHOOC
8 of 9 | Posted by cherin | Posted on August 1, 2008 8:50 AM
That hat! It looked like he had his lunch stored under there. Loved the way it rested to the side of his head. Maybe his fruit slid down. I couldn't stop laughing or rewinding when I saw that. How can he take himself so seriously?
9 of 9 | Posted by PBandJ | Posted on August 1, 2008 10:37 PM