This week on DITD: 6 more singles try to answer the age-old question: How much more of this crap can a recapper take? It's the same old same-old, but this week the contestants look through each others' cars to get a glimpse of his/her personality. Also, no one brings fruit to the DR! I know!
Although someone has a box of condoms. In the cup holder. Of his car.
Okay, peeps. I'm in the midst of packing alllllllll my shit up and moving 2 states away, so this is going to be a short, nuts-and-bolts type of recap. Probably more nuts than bolts cuz we all know how this show rolls! Let's get it started in here.
Tonight's contestants:
Dion, a photographer, 37. He's gone from woman to woman, and from penicillin to pubic lice shampoo, but is ready to settle down and get married. He's excited because on this show he can meet someone based on personality. And then she'll reject him. Look, I'm not making a blind statement -- look at this show's track record! The guys are ALWAYS willing to meet on the balcony, and the girls ALWAYS reject. And by "always" I mean "usually."
Party of Five called. It wants it's early-90s hair back.
Leo, 26, graphic designer and "hardcore nerd." He wants to find a nice girl, and it wouldn't hurt if she was into all the nerdy stuff he's into. I'm interested to find out what constitutes him as a nerd. According to Hypnotoad's Levels of Nerd-ness: Harry Potter is only very slightly nerdy, and kind of cool, but Lord of the Rings? Full on Nerd-ness with an extremely high factor of dork. Don't even get me started on World of Warcraft, people, because that is such a high factor of nerd that it can be seen from space.
Chris Gaines called. He wants his late-90s hair back.
Malek is 29, and he's a teacher and a musician. Malek is from Tunisia. He says his looks help him get dates, but as a Muslim, he's always being judged. Welcome to America, dude. He's excited to be on the show or something.
Jacket + belt + collar = NO, okay? Just NO.
Lisa is 39 and is a divorcee. Ooooohhh, interesting. You know, as interesting as this show gets. Which is not very. She doesn't say what she does for work, so I'm guessing she went to college and got a degree in English, then married for money, and did absolutely nothing except maybe plan a breast cancer awareness barbecue or something. She says her looks help her find men, but she's ready to find someone based on personality. Where have I heard that before? Oh, right, from EVERYONE IN EVERY EPISODE OF THIS SHOW.
Paula Abdul + Cindy Crawford = Her.
Tanya is 24 and an executive assistant. She's a little scared because she says that guys are attracted to her personality first, and "the looks come after." Well, Tanya, frankly you shouldn't be scared, because, well, that's pretty much the whole concept of this show, mmkay Tannie Sue? Tanya seems very sweet and sincere and not so dumb, and so far I really don't have anything to work with yet, so here's a picture of her.
"Don't worry. I'm sure I'll give you something soon."
Tawny is 29 and, of course, a bartender. Because when your parents name you "Tawny," your career choices are kind of limited.
Case in point.
Tawny totally smokes and takes numerous whiskey shots with all the patrons when she works. She says she needs someone who won't let her walk all over him because she WILL walk all over a guy. Which leads me to believe she wants exactly the opposite here, because she LIKES walking all over guys.
Yeah, total smoker lines. Total.
Group date! Tawny manipulates the conversation in the beginning, and we are not surprised, are we? Nor are we amused. She's all, I'm crazy! I need a man that's as strong as me! Don't make me walk all over you! Dion says she's a little too "boisterous." Well, that's one way of saying it, Dion. Malek says he's a musician and teaches French, Italian, and Arabic. Oh, and he speaks Spanish. Tanya likey. She also tells Leo not to hide his nerdish leanings. The girls discuss the guys, the guys discuss the girls.
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Comments (5)
I wonder how this show REALLY decides who's "compatible." I don't think there's any science involved...it's just the producers sitting around going, "How 'bout putting the chubby girl with the nerd...that should work." Idiots.
1 of 5 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on August 20, 2009 8:29 AM
Okay, I've got to know: What is "the Shopping Cart"?
2 of 5 | Posted by bluzgirl | Posted on August 20, 2009 8:41 AM
I thought Tanya looked a little, um, plain, and then she gets all picky about Malek's receding hairline. Hmmm.
I think you hit on the problem, oh, ok, ONE of the problems with this show. The people are too normal. Or maybe they don't have the time to show their inner craziness or douchiness. Anyhow, it's not entertaining to see fairly normal, nice people on TV.
3 of 5 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on August 20, 2009 1:44 PM
Wow you guys, these are all valid questions/issues.
Cattyfan - I too wonder about the "compatibility" testing. I pretty much don't think it exists.
bluzgirl - The Shopping Cart. It's when you pretend you're pushing a shopping cart, then pretend to grab a can off the shelf, look at it, toss it in your cart, and repeat. And of course you do this in a funkified way, obviously. You can google/YouTube-le "shopping cart dance" to find it, I think, but I can't view any of the videos cuz it appears their server is down or something. So, what I described is the version of the shopping cart that I know.
pixielated - Exactly! This is one of my main beefs with the show: We get one episode with each person, so we really don't get to know who they are. By which I mean, we don't get to truly hate someone evil *cough* Lo from The Hills *cough*. That's what especially sucked about this episode. I have to say, these were the least interesting contestants thus far. Or maybe I'm just in a crappy mood from having to pack, something that I despise more than anything that comes out of Katherine Heigl's mouth. And that's saying A LOT.
4 of 5 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on August 20, 2009 4:36 PM
Well done, Hypy! Even in the midst of packing/moving, you still managed to write a HIlarious recap! Me love you long time.
5 of 5 | Posted by hypnotoads#1fan | Posted on August 22, 2009 4:46 PM