Tonight on DIDT: It's the same stuff, with different people, who have different levels of annoying. Will some people learn a lesson about personality vs. looks? Yeah, because ABC told them to. I get a serious gay-boy crush on a girl contestant. Like, seriously. And people act like they're 13 going on idiot in the dark room.
Papa, can you hear me?
First of all, this show has been #1 in it's time slot for the past two weeks. Number freaking one! Also, so according to Wikipedia, the most reliable and trustworthy source of information on the internet, DITD is based on a Dutch show with the same format called . . . wait for it . . . Daten In het Donker! Ha! Hahahahahaha! That's so much more fun to say! How sad is it that this piece of poo is a KNOCK-OFF piece of poo? Way to suck, America!
Rossi explains to us that . . . pretty much what he explained to us last week. If you don't know the format by now, then read last week's recap (added bonus: One of the contestants commented). Or watch the show. Which I don't suggest, unless you like weeping uncontrollably and screaming, "Why? Why?!" at your t.v.
Nancy feels your pain.
Let's meet our contestants!
Jason: 31, a marketing consultant. He usually loves girls who have bubbly personalities.
i.e., any girl who will get drunk off jageritas and show him her ta-tas.
Why is he on this show? He should be on The Real World: Cancun! Or The Real World: Las Vegas. Or The Real World: Key West. Okay, basically any Real World after Chicago. You know, after people on the show stopped being relevant and started being whores.
Matt: 28, a land development consultant. Which is a fancy schmancy way of saying real estate agent. Matt confesses that he has no problems finding girls . . . or crabs, perhaps? . . . but he has trouble finding THE girl. You know, the one who's name he remembers in the morning. He admits he's really critical and puts looks first. Shocker.
"Also, I'm constantly surprised!"
Doug: 31, a pitching coach for the St. Louis Cardinals organization (I'm guessing a farm team or something. And I have no idea what a farm team is, it's just a term I've heard a few times from my dad). He is a bit nervous about a girl just getting to know him just based on his personality. Uh-oh! But he says he can be a charmer. You know what? Doug doesn't seem douche-y.
For now.
On to the women. First up is Megan. 31, studying to become a sommelier, which is actually kind of cool. Not at all lucrative in any way, shape, or form, but still cool. Megan is basically the Bridget Jones of this episode. She's funny, sassy, and she wants to get married and have kids blah blah blah because all her friends are doing it. Megan, sweetie, no. Married people need that one remaining single friend who still goes out and gets drunk on a Friday night and sleeps with random people. That way they can complain to their husbands about "how sad it is" that people still do that after 30, and then think to themselves, "Damn, I wish I could get drunk and screw someone other than my husband," while they scrub green baby poo off the bathroom wall. And this, my friends, is Hypnotoad's pledge: I will be that friend for you. For life. Also, Megan is the completely average size for American women. Which means that by ABC standards, she's effing huge and will henceforth be termed The Thick One. Thanks, ABC, for setting our standards for us! Saves us a helluva lot of thinking for ourselves. You know what? I have a total Will & Grace crush on Megan.
I wanna hag you so effing hard, Megan.
Lindsey, 26, is from Boston, and she's an operations manageuh. She definitely has a Southie accent, but it's strange to hear because the rest of her English is like a Middle American accent - that is to say, "no" accent - until she gets to those pesky "ars." Really, you have to watch the episode to know what I'm talking about. What's that? You don't WANT to watch Daten In het Donker? Well flikker op, hufter! You heard me. Look it up, stumpert. She is nervous, she admits, because this whole thing is weird. Preachin' to the choir, sister.
She'll just have to step up her game in the dahk room.
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Comments (5)
I saw that you recapped this show, so I went & watched it online. I definitely agree with you on the weirdness of Matt & Megan's communication style. Seems mean. And Chrystee and Jason DEFINITELY would not have lasted for long. I'm just disappointed that they never were shown discussing the fact that they have the same flat iron.
I also went poking around abc.com to find out more about the couples, to no avail. I'm glad you mentioned it so I know it wasn't just me.
1 of 5 | Posted by natpatben | Posted on July 31, 2009 10:50 PM
Hip-no-toad,
You are my hero once again. Loving your recaps, sweetie.
2 of 5 | Posted by hypnotoads#1fan | Posted on August 1, 2009 12:01 AM
I get it, Hypnotoad really means: hip, no toad. You are hilarious!
I thought for sure that Matt and Lindsey were meant for each other since they have the same surprised expression. Definitely not Botox users.
3 of 5 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on August 1, 2009 12:46 AM
After reading the recap of the first episode I had to watch the second just to see if this show really was as lame as you make it seem.
Well.
It's even lamer. What a stupid concept. Leave it to the Dutch. (Although the Dutch gave us Big Brother and a host of other reality formats so...)
Watching M&M was like watching 10-year-olds on a 'date'.
And you got to wonder why the producers bother bringing an uber-christian on a show like this. Who wants to 'date' a superstitious wacko?
4 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 1, 2009 1:09 AM
Thanks Hypnotoad for another hilarious recap! I didn't even bother tuning in to this train wreck this week. It's much more fun to hear it from your point of view!
5 of 5 | Posted by patriciammiller | Posted on August 4, 2009 9:39 AM