And then Lysol acidly tells her that she doesn't know how to put it gently, but with all her drama over the past few years, she would believe ANYTHING said about Itchy. That's cold, Lysol. Well, how much of it do you think is true? You've never met me, reminds Itchy. Yes this is true, says Lycia. But my job is to make up shit about people that I don't know, so what's your point?
And since Itchy doesn't really have a point she just decides to talk about how there's children involved. Ah, yes. When in doubt, talk about your kids. Don't play the parent card, says Lysol. Exactly. Because what do children have to do with banging Heather Locklear's man?
And then Lysol reminds that they were all on Itchy's side and that she was in the tabloids' good graces with her divorce with Chuck, but then she "tipped off" the paps and was seen kissing Richie. Tipped off the paps? Bitch, what? Itchy calls BS and argues that no one in their right mind would fuel their own bad press.
Okay, let's back up. It's time to give a condescending lecture. Itchy tries to tell her that it might be hard to change a public image that she herself helped create. In the public eye, her image has backfired because people think she was in cahoots with the paps to create it. Let me explain, she cajoles. Yes, please do, this is gonna be rich, Itchy says. Itchy is ready to pull up a chair and hear all about how Lycia can tell her how to change it. So maybe these two are gonna get along after all.
Let me use a hand to illustrate my point.
Oh, I'll meet you one hand and raise you two, puta.
I spoke too soon. We have a very abstract conversation about The Truth. At this point, does Itchy even know the truth? Heather, paparazzi, blah blah blah. Then Lysol brings up the seventeen page "tell-all" Itchy did, but the "tell-all" was to a judge with a lawyer, which seems less gossip rag and more official court document, but whatevs, Lysol. I'm sure this isn't the first time you've spun a word or two. The document was public record and she couldn't help that it got out.
Itchy has the upper hand and right when things are getting real, ol' Lysol gets a phone call and DARES to answer it, in the presence of Itchy.
Hold on. This might be my Perez Hilton. He says the funniest shizz about you.
Lysol even cuts her off with a "hold on a second". Itchy, NOT amused, says that she'll be right back, but then doubles back and says that she's DONE. Lysol gets off the phone with "Whitney" pretty quickly, but it's not quick enough for Itchy. She's kind of lost it now.
Itchy sort of leaves then comes back, it's like a lover's tiff when the girl wants to leave but hangs around thinking she can get in one last zinger, and says "There's children involved" one more time as if that's what this is all about. She brings up the seventeen page document she never wants her kids to see. But seeing this embarrassing display on basic cable, hells yeah!
This is also probably the best day of Lysol's life.
This is the best day of my life.
Lysol assures her that this is working really well for her career. Oh, sarcasm! Well played, Lysol. That just enrages Itchy more and she tells her to do her f*cking homework, you f*cking c*nt.
No eres la estrella de mi telenovela, puta!
The damage is done. Itchy is crying as she leaves and when she gets back to the car tells Oldrina that it went horribly and that she called ol' Lysol c*nt. How Oldrina didn't see this coming, I don't know, but as expected it was a complete disaster and Lysol can only be wishing she could run a cover story in People on this. At least for once she would have first hand information.
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Comments (7)
I don't really like her and she seems like a crazy person. Also, that was a cop out when she said, "How does one steal somebody's husband?", you could tell the woman interviewing her was like Bitch,please. Anyways, great recap IS, loving the spanish phrases.
1 of 7 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on June 5, 2008 3:02 AM
I agree...regretfully...I do kind of like her, I don't know, she just sort of says what she's thinking and I can appreciate that. Most of what she's thinking is delusional, but that's ok!
2 of 7 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on June 5, 2008 6:54 AM
i'm with you lady s. i'm diggin denise more than i thought i would.
seriously, how DO you steal somebody's husband? steal their wallet, steal their car, but stealing a grown man who is (semi) capable of making his own decisions and blow drying his own hair? laughable. (brad pitt can attest to this. don't sell him short. he has free will and there wasn't a gun to his head that we know of).
women have a way of siding against the other woman in such a catty way...totally letting the guy off the hook in these situations. what a show of female comradere. see you next tuesday ladies. gotta keep yourself in check.
men make more money and run the world...but a great pair of breasts will make them ditch their wives and lives? hardly. ok, i'm not saying NEVER....but c'mon. who's the villain here?
maybe i side with her a bit because we have a few things in common. (though my interaction with heather locklear is much, much less...or possibly not at all). my single motherhood, penchant for a kinky dude and love of all curse words puts me right up there ripe for criticism. i can't imagine what it'd be like to do all that AND have to worry about someone watching and blasting it all over the press. i suppose her millions would comfort me in a way only cold hard cash can.
the one thing i find comical is that we get reminded often of the bond film and wild things (both of which i haven't seen). lets be honest here, to me she'll always be the chick with the lips in starship troopers.
go get'em denise. fuck'em if they can't take a joke.
3 of 7 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on June 5, 2008 7:03 AM
She does have a perfect nose.
I am finding her to be much more likable than I thought I would, and your first recap was so hilarious that I set a series recording for this show on my DVR.
4 of 7 | Posted by mle428 | Posted on June 5, 2008 1:57 PM
While it is true that men have he capacity to make their own decisions, women know that if they really want a man they can get him so I think that there can be such a thing as stealing another person's SO. Catty and breaking female camaraderie or whatever as it may seem. Anyways, I don't know, I just don't like her, I obviously don't know her so I'm just saying from the little I've seen of her show. She just seems fake to me. But everyone's entitled to their opinion.
5 of 7 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on June 7, 2008 12:43 PM
ugh...i wrote 5 paragraphs and then somehow i managed to click on that damn floating Yahoo 'Y' and it killed everything i wrote and took me to the babelfish translation page. balls. thanks for nothing yahoo.
anyhoo, mitchypr - i hear ya...but i just think you're selling an entire gender short if men are really that easy. (although i will accept that MOST of them are). i also accept the fact that we're talking about richie sambora here...and that denise is hot. locklear always looked like an older carolanne from poltergiest to me.
if a man (even married) already has one foot out the door...i don't think it's "stealing" per say. those rat bastards would hop on the first acceptable piece of tail to cross their path. the bottom line is he has a choice.
ps: i do commend you on the proper spelling of comaraderie. ech. i butchered that with bells on.
6 of 7 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on June 7, 2008 6:25 PM
k37744, I agree with what you said, I guess "stealing" is a strong word.I just feel for Heather Locklear cause they were married for a long time and that's gotta suck. And the fact that Denise says that they weren't really friends anymore, IMO, that could hurt even more because you lose a friend and then your husband to said friend. Although that depends on how good of friends they were. I don't know, I guess I always side with the dumped woman. I feel bad for her, it can't have been easy.
7 of 7 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on June 10, 2008 8:16 AM