So, who are they gonna call? Klassy Kim. Kim is her best friend since she was sixteen. She is quirky and crazy and yells in public places that Fluffy's butt looks hot. Somehow in Fluff's mind this makes her "klassy".
So they go shopping and all Fluffy wants to do is show her cleave. Every button-down she unbuttons to show her tatas. Its defeating the purpose, they cry! I'm just seeing, insists Fluffy, as if she forgot what her cleave looked like from two minutes ago. She would feel more comfortable in a tank and I always feel more comfortable in a tank, so I don't know what's wrong with that, but I'm not known for being a dumb ho. I think when you're a smart ho, you can get away with tanks.
Dang. Does that thing have a zipper?
All the conservative outfits make her feel like a mom/substitute teacher and they kind of do make her look like that. I wouldn't wear some of that shit either. So she finally settles on a yellow button down under a black sweater, which is a little bumble bee, but whatevs. Maybe Joel Silver will want to make some honey with her.
Have her and you will sting for a long time to come.
So now it's time to prep dad for his red carpet debut and that requires to do massive The Swan-style plastic surgery. Kidding. Dad is totally a-looker. They just have to go to update his look at the Ona spa on Beverly Blvd. He's never been to a day spa, which in this day and age is practically unbelievable. But he did go to a "spa" in Vietnam. And then in front of the Asian staff she finds it totally appropriate to crack a joke about how her dad is a huge fan of happy endings. Okay, Fluffy is funny.
C*nt.
And then he goes in for the scrub. And he just can't believe that people would come in to get rubbed down with 120-grit sandpaper. Silly, Dad. This is a decadent treatment! says the lady. This is a messy treatment, corrects Dad. When the lady bows at the end and says it is always a pleasure to do the body work, Dad makes a face like she is koo koo for coconuts. "That was weird," he concludes.
But I still have a boner.
Back at home, Fluffy puts on her new outfit just to see her sister's reaction. She doesn't know that Fluffs went shopping or what the occasion is. She's just going to see if she even notices. Like Sis is her boyfriend and she got a new haircut.
And Sister Michelle just starts laughing. Why are you wearing that? She doesn't even seem to like it. Nobody like Fluffy Girl when she has clothes on. Any ol' shmoe can wear clothes, but Fluffy was made to be a ho!
Cant turn a ho into a housewife
Hos dont act right
She asks Fluff to undo some buttons and that's when we learn that there's not actually a shirt under there. Fluffy couldn't even commit to buying a whole shirt that wasn't slutty! That's dedication. And Fluffy is very pleased because her sister doesn't recognize her, her dad loves it and she's uncomfortable. Joel Silver will take her seriously for sure! And if all else fails, she'll just start to take her clothes off. Always have a plan b. And that plan b should always involve using your sexuality. Mine does at least and look at the plum movie roles I'm getting offered!
And now the moment we've (I've) been waiting for! Joel Silver meeting! He immediately says she looks beautiful, so clearly this outfit is paying off.
I wonder if Joel spent a day deciding on the tent he's wearing.
They sit down with Susan Downey, another movie producer, and proceed to talk turkey. Fluffy just starts right in. She wants some advice. She knows that her personal life has dominated her career life these past few years (i.e. she's been busy showing the world she's a man-stealing sperm-chaser) and wants to know how to change her image. She mentions the Playboy offer she just got and how she's debating that one.
Joel Silver mentions that when she came on the scene she was so good in Spin City...uh, wasn't that Heather Locklear's show? A quick trip to imdb says she was on four episode to Heather's sixty-two. Fluffer's face says she's thinking of Amanda Woodward, too. Is he not confusing them? Out of all her roles, he remembers a four episode arc from eight years ago?
You should check out Two and a Half Men. It was brilliance.
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Comments (3)
Is it just me or does she look 14 in that last picture? And yay! I'm glad I'm not the only one rooting for her. For some reason, I want to believe she's just misunderstood. Maybe it's Wild Things. It changed me.
1 of 3 | Posted by lillybaby | Posted on June 18, 2008 11:08 PM
I don't dislike her b/c that would require me to care whether she lives or dies. However, she is not going to "Jessica Simpson" herself with this show. She is going more the "Whitney Houston" route. There are only 2 outcomes to doing a reality show. She will either be wildly popular and relateable, or you will come across as f'ing lunatic who will eventually do the Surreal Life to send your kids to private school. I think Denise is the latter but time will tell. Her best work ever was playing the daughter of the NBC executive on Seinfeld when George got caught starring at her cleavage. She should mention that more, it might win her some fans. And also tell people she is a Ninja! Yeah, a Ninja..that's happening
2 of 3 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on June 19, 2008 7:50 AM
Finally someone mixes in a little Luda with the recap! And too fitting.
"hey ho, how you doin' where you been? probly doin' ho stuff, cause there you ho again!
HAHAHHAHA
Love the recap! Can't wait until next week.
3 of 3 | Posted by kasey_v | Posted on June 19, 2008 10:41 AM