When you have a thinking face like this, you try not to do it too often.
A lot of provocative questions were asked this week on Denise Richards. How can Fluffy get out of her single mom rut? Is she crazy? Who is lying to her? But I continue to watch this show in awe of her perfectly flowing tresses and my only question is how the hell she gets that mane so perfect and shiny and full. I'm constantly in awe of its golden splendor. Seriously, is she a mermaid?
Wish I could be part of that wooooooorld.
So we're back with Fluffy and she's hanging with Oldrina like it's her job, all up in the bathroom like a couple of girls at Les Doux. And, hey-o, we're not done with grooming yet. Oldrina has a confession to make. She's about to get her first bikini wax. Record scratch! Come again? First of all, Oldrina is old. How could she possibly never have gotten a wax before? And second, she lives in LA. Nobody except the old ladies at the Korean Spa run around in full bush.
Shockingly vain Fluffy is completely nonplussed about this. She just matter-of-factly whips out her miracle wax kit right then and there telling her she doesn't have to go anywhere. Fluffy will do it! Oldrina is all hello, no. Record scratch, part two. Have you seen how perfect Fluffy is? You know that ho can wax snatch like a pro.
What do you mean "sweaty sideburns"?
(Yes, that was an Ab Fab reference.) Actually that's not the real reason Fluffy knows these things. It's because she doesn't have time to drive to Beverly Hills to get that shit done. Fluffy is up against the wall with things to do.
Such as (cue comical piano plunking): mommy and me class, going to lunch, dance class, and the next day...wait for it... they have a dentist appointment. I think Oldrina is thinking what I'm thinking when she says, Let's just stop right here. You know that Fluffy has the most awesomely chillaxed life evs. But Oldrina wants to know, When do you go anything for you? In the eyes of Oldrina, Fluffy is an over-worked single mother, and she should find the time to get her vadge hairs ripped out. I really need to be friends with these people.
Buy coconut water at Whole Foods, pluck my arms pits. Yeah, I'm full up.
Wellll, sighs Fluff. You're going to get burned out, advises Oldrina. Yes, burned out. Burned out is what you get when you write two TVgasm recaps a week for six months straight. You don't get "burned out" when you're a mom. That's like for swim team practice, not, like, your children. Fluffy rightfully tells her that she's gonna show Oldrina's bush who's boss right then and there to get that ho to shut up. Cue intro montage! Best part of the show!
So next day Fluffy is busy, which obviously goes without saying. She's with Dad and one of her dogs in the SUV and complaining about how assistant Sho didn't give her one of her schedules. And Dad knows that Sho rides the short bus. Sho is slow. Anytime you ask about anything he doesn't know and he acts frazzled (cut to Sho bulging his eyes and wiping his weary brow.)
Scandinavian child hair weave is gonna cost.
So that's why Assistant Two Sabrina is around picking up dog shit. And these days, they haven't been working as a team. It's causing a problem. The last thing Fluffy needs is added stress. Mommy and Me class is a high pressure commitment and Oldrina just wouldn't understand being childless and non-martyr-like.
What are these two rascals trying to get done this week? Well, they have a lot of clothes to return. Fluffy doesn't actually fit clothes in her budget with all the waxing and pig sperm she's buying. And who knew Barney's doesn't do layaway?
Fluffy comes in to the Assistant Chamber and asks if Sabrina will also look into swim lessons for the girls. Sabrina says yes. How's the sitch with returning all my fabulous designer clothes? Oh, Sho is on top of that, I think. Is everything okay? I think soooo.... Okay, well I'm going out with the girls. And exit Fluffy. Wow, she's giving last week's hug scene with Dad a run for its money.
I'm a method actor. So I pretty much work the wooden angle all the time.
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Comments (7)
Being the reality show junkie that I am, I can tell you than Dr. Stan was previously on Starting Over, a weekday daytime reality show about women trying to get their lives in order, usually with a fair degree of success. On the show, I couldn't stand Dr. Stan-- he was superfluous. There were two "life coaches" who helped the women a heck of a lot more than he did. I like him even less now-- he's trying to extend his 15 minutes.
1 of 7 | Posted by natural redhead | Posted on June 20, 2008 11:22 PM
natural redhead:
i remember dr. stan! i watched the first season religiously. in fact my roommate and i taped it on a ghetto vcr to watch at night on days when we had to report to work. i was devastated when it got cancelled. i thought it would live forever. i still think about amy, the senator's daughter and lynn and haley, the mother-daughter trainwreck.
i love reality tv.
2 of 7 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on June 21, 2008 8:20 AM
I tried watching this show last night - made it through 2 minutes. That woman is annoying. I'm enjoying the recaps, however, without the pain and agony of watching the show.
3 of 7 | Posted by clair | Posted on June 23, 2008 9:14 AM
Great recap! I dont watch the show but the recaps always have me cracking up.
I also remember Dr. Stan - not only from Starting Over, but he was the one that called the authorities on Michael Jackson after interviewing the kid that MJ supposably molested. Psychologist? Sounds more like media whore to me.
4 of 7 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on June 23, 2008 10:56 AM
I was roommates in '91 with Sho in Modesto, Ca.
He left me with a large long distance bill and claimed he "owed me nothing"
Nice to see he's still handling things well.
What an ass!!
5 of 7 | Posted by dandylion | Posted on June 26, 2008 7:33 PM
Ladyx YOU ARE MY HERO! :)
6 of 7 | Posted by sweetsimplicity | Posted on July 31, 2008 5:58 AM
Do people really WANT to watch this garbage!?! I came across this show the other day and was sickened by DR amazing ability to talk about her 'problems' that any normal person would love to have.... I'm glad CS is no longer with her, if she were my g/friend I would be in solitary for killing her self-absorbed butt!
7 of 7 | Posted by cmblair76 | Posted on July 31, 2008 10:41 AM