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And now the montage of how much Fluffy loves doing everything with her girls. Dance, gymnastics, dentist! Are her kids teeth rotten? They act like that's one of the daily activities before playground and after Zaboomafoo. (Yes, I know what that is.) Even her family is telling her she needs to get out there and wreck another marriage. She's too selfless these days. Everyone likes Fluffy better when she's a ho.

I just need a bit more footage for the 'bloids.

So she's going to Dr. Katz today. Her divorce mediator who doubles as her therapist. And the role of "Dr. Katz" will be played by Dennis Miller. Seriously. I thought it was a joke.

The writer's strike has been a bitch for everybody.

So Fluffy spills her guts about how she felt vulnerable at first, and yet now it feels normal to be a single parent and yet...now she's in a rut. What's a home waxer to do? And Dr. Katz is about to blow her mind Joel Silver style. Here's his breakdown: your marriage didn't work, your relationship didn't work, you lost your mom. (All these truth bombs/facts are making Fluffy uncomfortable. She's starting to sweat.) He like it when Fluffy sweats so he doesn't stop there: She has a sleep disorder. She lives her life by fear. She has baggage AND accessories.

Which can only lead Fluffy to ask herself the burning existential question: Am I fucked up?

Can we add "fucked up" to the intro montage? That will definitely one-up the telenovelas.

Your life if not balanced! declares Dr. Katz. You're supposed to be a ho, he explains gently. This is boring America. Us Weekly gives a very thorough Romance Report. Just whip it open and pick a home to wreck. Josh Duhamel is a totally hot piece and that girl he's with pees on herself. I think you have a fighting chance. His exact words are "get out in the world and engage with it". But we all know that what he's saying.

So she comes back to the ranch more defeated than ever. Now she's feeling more effed up than she thought. She gives Dad this dramatic metaphor about being in the ocean and she needs a life preserver. Maybe you just took it wrong said Dad. Like maybe it was about being a mermaid and you have awesome hair. Do you think I'm crazy? asks Fluffy. And Dad takes a good five minutes getting back to her on that one.

This is off topic, but what conditioner do you use?

In the end, he decides she's not crazy. Just take it all with a grain of salt, he says. Ah, Dads. Still so great afterall of last week's humiliation. So what's the solution to this you ask to this existential crisis: to build something. Who doesn't just want to build when they get all fired up? I prefer to just act out passive-aggressively with those closet to me, so I'm really impressed with Fluffy's constructive response to the matter.

So she goes to Sabrina who is never allowed to leave her desk and tells her that she's ready to build ROME. It can't be that hard to put together a playhouse for the girls? She tells Sabrina to get one not assembled because her next show is going to be a Ty Pennington-like selfless shelter building reality show and this will be the moving back story about how it all began with two girls with a whore-loving father whose mother sacrificed all to get them a playhouse.

And within minutes the "folk art playhouse" has arrived by the next scene, clearly the smarter, faster assistant at work. From now on she shall be referred to as Sabraina. As the house is sent into a flurry of activity in anticipation of the Folk Art Playhouse, Dad predicts the man delivering this will be older than him and alone. And behold:

I didn't know there would be so many pigs in heaven.

And Fluffy comes out with enough excitement for a twenty person cheerleading squad. She comes out guns blazing, ready to go and right away the old man shuts her down. Grumpy old men do not like happy young persons.

Of course Dad and Sho do the unloading, but Fluffy is still amped about putting this thing together and showing the world she excels in things other than shouting expletives and personal grooming. But, of course, life is never easy for Fluffy. The old man informs her that there are no instructions for this endeavor. Would Ty Pennington need instructions? Buck up, ho.

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Posted in Denise Richards by InternetSensation at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: cmblair76 on Jul 31, 2008 10:41 AM.