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So she commits to going out for one hour and Oldrina leaves them. And these two are in pain. They have nothing to say to each other.

Well. This is normal.

But finally! And ice breaker. How did she meet Oldrina? Well that just brought on more awkwardness. She met Oldrina because Richie referred her to his chiropractor and Oldrina's his wifey. And thus begins the uncomfortable line of questioning. Does she still talk to Richie? No. It upset the Ex (Lady Locklear) too much. Is she still friends with Perfection Herself? Oh, yeah! She's over for coffee every Sunday. Oh, humor again! Denise was so robbed of her rightful role playing opposite Ashton in "What happens in Vegas".

So Austin, who even I would not thought was a good match for Itchy, then practically says point blank he doesn't date divorcees. Well, this was fun. He then adds that the first movie he saw her in was Wild Things. Yes he remembers Wild Things. That had Matt Dillon in it. Austin loves Matt Dillon. And now that's just weird. No one remembers anything about that movie except for the hot pool scene where she hooks up with Neve Campbell. I was convinced I needed a boyfriend AND a girlfriend when I saw that scene. But not Austin. Austin just thinks of what stellar acting choices Matt Dillon made in that film.

You're so funny you could have been in You, Me and Dupree. With Matt Dillon.

So of course she comes out of the date asking Oldrina if he's gay. What red-blooded man says that they loved Matt Dillon in that bi-curious classic? Gay or not, that guy was lame anyway. I wouldn't have gone out with him either and I'm not a famous actress. That said I do only date directors and photographers. What can I say? It's complicated. She can't help it if she's attracted to hot, sexy guys with big dicks. OMG. Me, too again! Maybe Itchy is as complicated as ME!

And the next day she's in down home fambly mode again. She's throwing a backyard BBQ for her dad. And dad points out that she doesn't actually have a grill to throw a backyard BBQ. Oops! Celebrities don't keep track of that kind of thing, silly dad! So they trot off to the BBQ grilling store and Itchy wants to get the most expensive grills, while midwest dad wants the oldfashioned kind. They meet in the middle and another celebrity-regular person shopping trip has ended happily.

And now we're at the BBQ and we get to see what a family gal Itchy is. Forget about the pigs and dudes with big dicks. This is what Itchy really cares about. Itchy basically wants her dad to know he's here to stay. She's made a lot of mistakes and wants she and her dad to have a fresh start. She wants to take care of him. She wants a free babysitter.

This is all making eyeball itch.

Her cute little daughter asks why she's sad and she says that she's not sad, she's happy. Aw. I hope her kids aren't whored out on this show. We've barely seen their faces and I hope it stays that way. But enough of that family crap. It's pig time. And Bob is right on top of Charlotte. He's half her size and he's going after her like, well. Let's talk about something else.

So that's it for today, but what can we expect this season? Well, lots of typical single mom behavior: pole dancing, bikini modeling, covering up tattoos and screaming at people. Ah, Itchy. You are a card.

So what do you guys think? Is she a self-absorbed beeotch or just a family gal who likes pigs? I have to say, I still don't hate her. She's a hot itchy mess, but I think it works for her.

See you next week.
xoxo, Lady S.

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Posted in Denise Richards by InternetSensation at 10:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: melpadgett on Jun 3, 2008 11:05 AM.