This week on Desperate Housewives: Orson is pissed that Andrew makes more than he does; Susan goes ape-shit regarding MJ spending time with Katherine because, let's face it, she's a better mother (barring the whole daughter-getting-crushed-by-furniture thing); Lynette and Tom fight about money (shocking!); and Gabby and Carlos find out about a secret. And Edie has like 4 lines.
Tough gig.
Mary Alice voice overs about mothers who work outside the home; you know women who dress like slobs, eat like slobs, put their makeup on while they drive. Wow, stereotype much? Anyhoo, it's Suzy-Q's first day at her new job and wouldn't you know it? MJ is sick and barfs all over the floor. She runs over to Mike because, well, it's what Susan does in a crisis. Or, you know, for anything. They argue about jobs and school and junk, and long story short, Mike ends up taking MJ so Susan can be an art teacher's assistant. Is it just me or does Mike's chest look a little buff-er today? I kind of wish I could stay at home with Mike so he could make me soup. Naked. While he's on top of me. Okay, credits.
It's night now, and Susan sees a note on Mike's door saying that MJ is over at Katherine's. Well, that's just great, because we all know how good she is with kids. Oh, but hey, I guess a bureau didn't fall on MJ because he's fine. This time. I guess Mike had a plumbing emergency or something, so Katherine taught the kid black-jack and how to "always double-down on a pair of aces." Hee, that's kind of cute. Kids are cute.
On TV. The real ones piss me off.
Alex (you know, Andrew's boyfriend) has Bree and Orson over for dinner at their new place, which seems to be painted in baby poo green. Andrew's running late, and the talk leads itself to Andrew's expensive taste because of his new raise. Which Orson didn't know about apparently, and when Alex breaks out the 96 Chateau L'Expensif wine, the stick in Orson's ass slides all the way in. Why does he care so much about Andrew getting a raise?
Meanwhile, Gabby and Carlos are having dinner out with Carlos' boss and his wife, you know, the ones who fought Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf style at their house one evening. Gabby and Carlos are still excited about the bonus he's going to get, and then things get awkward because there is no bonus. Because of the "economy," which means that, given that this show takes place 5 years in the future, we're all still going to be fucked in 2013. Yay for stimulus! I'm so looking forward to $8 more per week so I can buy 3 more boxes of Kraft mac & cheese when I go grocery shopping. Whoo. Hoo.
The company isn't giving out bonuses this year, but Gabby takes it all in stride, saying that it's okay because what's important is that Carlos has a job and can provide for her family, because she doesn't need any fancy jewelry or anything like that. And if you believe that last sentence, this must be the first episode of Desperate Housewives you've ever seen and I'll fill you in on a little secret: Gabby is shallow. Well, not so much a secret as a hardcore rule. Also, Cherry? LAST WEEK's episode was about money. Get with the program. Also, you maaaaayyy want to start moving the story arc and plot along. Just a suggestion.
Stop staring at that candle or you'll go blind. Again.
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Comments (6)
uh, you were a boy scout? Do you have pictures of yourself in your uniform? If you do, you can post those for us all. I think we would all enjoy seeing them.
I feel like I'm watching this show out of habit. You need to ask for a raise, baby.
It kind of creeped me out when Tom and Lynette were making out. I never think of Tom wanting to have sex with Lynette. Lynette is just SO old and saggy and wrinkle-y.
1 of 6 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on February 20, 2009 8:10 AM
I feel really bad, because I love DH as a whole, but this season is just not doing it for me. I just want it to be over already, not so I can stop recapping it, but so that I can have hope for the next season (even if Edie's not on it, which=me sad.).
And yeah, I was a Boy Scout for like 5 years (well, first Cub, then Webelo, then Boy Scout), but I gave it up to play basketball. THAT'S how much I hated it - I left it for freaking sports. I have no pictorial evidence of my Scout days. I'm sure my mom does, though.
2 of 6 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on February 20, 2009 12:38 PM
I think the child labor laws are less stringent when it is a family business. BTW - If I want to watch depressing economic stuff, I can listen to the news or just look into the mirror and think about my own lousey situation.
Thanks for the recap!
3 of 6 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on February 20, 2009 3:40 PM
Why am I hating this show, oh yea, no Mrs. McClusky, and Edie's leaving. I really hope Dave takes all three of 'em out (sorry if you're lusting for the plumber, hypno) and when he get's home he should take out Susan too, then we're off to a good start. Also can't stand Tom . . . I wish they didn't make him look like an idiot and I liked it better when all these people were fucking around . . . . I agree with Mr. Dangerous, you need a raise!!!
Hearts and Flowers!
4 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 20, 2009 5:07 PM
Hey y'all! There's no DH ep this week, because the show was freaking cancelled!! I read all about it --
Oh, I'm just kidding. This beyotch is a gold mine for ABC, so she ain't goin' nowhere. I'd like to thank the academy for giving me another break this week, because recapping "The City" as well as this show is depressing at times.
So. What do you think's going to happen on the camping trip? I'm betting on a little mutual soft-kissing between Dave and Mike. Apparently, according to my good friend Wikipedia, they don't even go camping until two episodes from now. Which, given the pacing of this season, is par for the course. I curse the day you were born, Season 5!
5 of 6 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on February 24, 2009 8:43 PM
Remember this show? No? Well, apparently, ABC wants to forget about this season too, because there's no episode this week. Again. Is there another Oscar telecast? One where "Slumdog Millionaire" doesn't win Best Picture? That would be sweet.
Anyhoodles, I'll see y'all next week! If you're jonesin' for some DH, I suggest the episode "Bang" from Season 3. Because it's awesome.
6 of 6 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on March 3, 2009 4:30 PM