Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Porter and Preston get all Parent Trap-y with Lynette and Tom; Carlos and Gabby argue about money (what a wonderful and refreshing change for those characters!); Edie gets wind (kind of) of Dave's crap; McCluskey and Roberta return . . . for 30 seconds; and in what is possibly the best plot line this season, Lee takes Susan out for a gay old time! AND. I actually liked this episode!
All it needed was like five more scenes with this chick.
Hey guys! Remember that show, Desperate Housewives, the one that was pretty good for 4 seasons and then got really lame in the 5th one? Well, after a loooonnng break, those Wisteria Lane bitches are back. Let's hope Cherry took a long, hard look at the season so far during the break and decided to make things awesome again. Let's hold our breaths, shall we?
Well, it's looking promising so far. Howdee doo, Miss Cassidy!
And . . . exhale. Previously on Desperate Housewives, stuff happened and I recapped it. And Flipit has ever so kindly kept them online for your reading pleasure. Mary Alice voiceovers about important events in family lives, specifically Bree's, whose own life was full of stuff just like your own family life if your husband died from poisoning, you married the man that killed him, you almost got shot by the next door neighbor's son, and/or your daughter got pregnant and then gave the baby to you and then came back five years later to reclaim it. Ah, memories.
Today, though, Bree is meeting the in-laws. As in her gay son's gay boyfriend's mother. Her name is Melina, her hair is high, and her legs are fishnetted. And true to form, Bree gets pissed off in the first 5 seconds. It seems Melina, eager to divvy up the holidays, "called" Christmas to spend with the boys. And Thanksgiving, leaving Bree with Easter, which is kind of like the bastard holiday. I mean, yeah, it's got deep religious meaning, and yeah, you get ham, but there's no stuffing and you get like one present. And it's a giant chocolate rabbit. And you get sick of it like after 2 hours and then by the time you say to yourself, "I want chocolate. Oh my gosh! I forgot about the rabbit!" it's already turned gray and has those weird gritty things falling off it. And forget about Peeps. Those things are just nasty. When Bree suggests going to the boys for their opinion on the holiday sitch, Melina gets up in her face and is all, you go over my head, and I'll hate you like Focus on the Family hates the HRC. Apple-y credits.
What are Peeps?
Mary Alice blahs about realtors. Which means Edie. Which means hilarious slut. We're at Edie's house -- Dude, Dave has serious face pubeage, and big-ass gin blossoms. He's also rifling through a big bag full of pills. I believe the bag is from the Karen Walker Collection. How awesome would it be if Karen moved to Wisteria Lane?! Okay, I take back the gin blossom comment, and now I do believe Dave has put on waaayy too much blush. I mean, I've seen drag queens who were more subtle with the makeup. Edie would love to go out and celebrate some big house sale, but Dave's just not up for it. And thank god, because I really don't think he needs to go out in public looking like the love child of Ryan Seacrest and Jerri Blank. Edie says Dave's been acting weird. If by "weird" she means "vaguely creepy in a very predictable plot line," then yeah. Agreed.
You're looking very poorly written.
Over at Suzy Q's, she's putting away groceries and listening to a message from Jackson, when she overhears a fight between Bob and Lee out on their lawn. Lee wants to go out tonight, Bob doesn't, and Lee's all, "Well, I'm going clubbing and wearing my not-coming-home-alone jeans!" Hee. Bob's all, "Oh, by 'wearing' you mean 'squeezing into?'" Double hee. Oh my gosh, I hope Susan goes to a gay club with Lee! That would be so great! So, I doubt we'll get to see that.
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Comments (7)
Hypnotoad, I don't even watch DH and your recap had me hysterically laughing... :-) But, with the whole Susan/Lee sitch, it is possible for a gay man to have sex with a woman, whether they dress in kimonos or work at a construction site.... A cool story would be Lee to be on the reverse DL, living as a gay man but banging the middle aged horny desperate broads on Wisteria Lane.
1 of 7 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on January 7, 2009 10:00 AM
After watching this episode, I was ready to take the show off my DVR list (despite all the McClusky time). It was a LOT funnier seen through your eyes. Thanks!
2 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 7, 2009 10:58 AM
recap was def funnier than the ep, but I am hanging in there.
3 of 7 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on January 7, 2009 11:58 AM
My favorite part of your recap:
"Also, Bob should only be allowed to wear speedos. Along with Carlos. And Mike. While they wrestle. Oh, my, I'm sorry about that."
4 of 7 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on January 7, 2009 12:41 PM
Really, the only thing that saved this episode for me was the Susan/Lee storyline. The rest were meh. Honestly, I do NOT see the point of having McCluskey and Roberta in the episode if all they're going to do is sit around and wait at a freaking doctor's office and then give up. That was ludicrous.
However, I'm really looking forward to the 100th episode (this was the 98th). From what I understand, there's going to be a lot of old, familiar faces in that one.
5 of 7 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on January 7, 2009 4:38 PM
I'm only on the third page, but as one of the (only?) Gale Harold fans, I must say: if he had been in the gay club (I know there isn't any reason for him to be actually be there) I would have died.
6 of 7 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on January 9, 2009 11:17 PM
Omg, just had to sign in to say HILARIOUS recap!
LOVED the gay in a kimono listening to opera bit...
I've fallen off the DH bandwagon for a few episodes and this one was just what I needed to get into it again.
Good times WITH THE GAYS!
7 of 7 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on January 13, 2009 12:45 PM