Lee catches Susan spying on him, and after Lee yells at her, she's all, "Uh, if you're interested I have dirt on Bree!" Ha! Loving it. But, actually she doesn't, she's just proving a point that Lee is just as bad as she is. She asks him if she can go clubbing with him tonight (oh please, Cherry? I've been ever so good!). There's some very witty remarks exchanged (Susan: "Gays love me." Lee: "Name 3." Susan: "You, Bob, Andrew." Lee: "That's 2."), and then Lee says yes! Oh, you guys, we may be getting set up for the best scene this season! Or, a big fat letdown.
You forgot to mention Seacrest!
Mmmm, sexy Bob is helping the Scavos with the Preston thing, although it's actually Porter since Preston ran away. Bob is grilling Porter about Preston's alibis and crap, because he'll be acting as Preston at the trial. Porter. Preston. I just wanted to say those names again to piss you off. Look, I know what I just typed was confusing, so here's the gist: Porter ran away, and Tom and Lynette are trying to pass Preston off as Porter. In other news, people who name all their kids with the same first letter are evil and must be destroyed. Also, Bob should only be allowed to wear speedos. Along with Carlos. And Mike. While they wrestle. Oh, my, I'm sorry about that. Anysnooch, Penny comes out and is all, "Preston! Give my back my tape recorder! Parker saw you take it!" And Lynette's all, ummmm, that's Porter, sweetie -- get it straight or you're going back in the basement for three episodes! Penny insists that it's Preston, and then Lynette's all weird and she's like, honey, no - that's Porter. Me confused. I'm assuming there's some twin switcheroo going on, Hayley Mills style.
Ugh, Gabby needs to start getting gussied up now that Carlos can see. Oh, dip, Carlos quit giving massages at the country club, because, as he puts it, "old people are gross." After much talk about how wonderful the world is now that he can see it with new eyes (barf), Gabby goes to get Carlos the want ads. And, scene. That was what, 15 seconds?
I would talk longer but I need to get to work on this giant Tootsie Roll.
Back at Bree's, she and Orson discuss how much Bree hates Melina, and how Bree must get along with her, because pretty soon she'll be family. Except not really, since gay marriage is neither legal nor binding. Thanks, Latter-Day Saints!
Lynette and Tom tell Bob about the Porter/Preston situation. Bob ain't happy with that, since he's obligated to tell the D.A., and if he doesn't he could be disbarred. Wow, this is not a good day for Bob. Tom and Lynette, apparently, will lose all their income if Porter's not found or if Preston doesn't pretend to be Porter, and as much as Bob feels for them, he's giving them two days to find Porter. Or else. Or else what? Exactly.
Gabby looks longingly at fancy clothes and runs into some dude named Bradley Scott, who used to do work with Carlos. Back before he embezzled and did insider trading and gay-bashed and then went blind. Even with all that, Bradley still wants Carlos to come work for him when he finds out that Carlos needs a job. Gabby happy. Gabby shoppy. For new shoesies.
I . . . I . . . don't know what to say. Are my eyes deceiving me? Is it . . . could it really be true? Yes! McCluskey and Roberta are back! Yaaaayyyy! I'm so happy, I'd buy you all a drink if we were together at a bar. And, you know, if I liked any of you. I kid, I kid, I love all of you because you've hung in with me so far in this crap season! So, they're in Boston, and at Dr. Heller's office, looking for, well, Dr. Heller. P.S. He died when Dave killed him. The secretary, who I think is totally Shelley Duvall's daughter, is all, he's not in, and I can't talk to you about Dave Williams or clients. Wow, Lily Tomlin is really butch in this ep. Me likey! They decide to wait for Dr. Heller, and McCluskey cracks open a 40 right there in the office. Ha! You guys, you may actually want to watch this episode for reals. I know!
Come on. Just one entire very special episode starring these two. PLEEEEASE!
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Comments (7)
Hypnotoad, I don't even watch DH and your recap had me hysterically laughing... :-) But, with the whole Susan/Lee sitch, it is possible for a gay man to have sex with a woman, whether they dress in kimonos or work at a construction site.... A cool story would be Lee to be on the reverse DL, living as a gay man but banging the middle aged horny desperate broads on Wisteria Lane.
1 of 7 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on January 7, 2009 10:00 AM
After watching this episode, I was ready to take the show off my DVR list (despite all the McClusky time). It was a LOT funnier seen through your eyes. Thanks!
2 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 7, 2009 10:58 AM
recap was def funnier than the ep, but I am hanging in there.
3 of 7 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on January 7, 2009 11:58 AM
My favorite part of your recap:
"Also, Bob should only be allowed to wear speedos. Along with Carlos. And Mike. While they wrestle. Oh, my, I'm sorry about that."
4 of 7 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on January 7, 2009 12:41 PM
Really, the only thing that saved this episode for me was the Susan/Lee storyline. The rest were meh. Honestly, I do NOT see the point of having McCluskey and Roberta in the episode if all they're going to do is sit around and wait at a freaking doctor's office and then give up. That was ludicrous.
However, I'm really looking forward to the 100th episode (this was the 98th). From what I understand, there's going to be a lot of old, familiar faces in that one.
5 of 7 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on January 7, 2009 4:38 PM
I'm only on the third page, but as one of the (only?) Gale Harold fans, I must say: if he had been in the gay club (I know there isn't any reason for him to be actually be there) I would have died.
6 of 7 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on January 9, 2009 11:17 PM
Omg, just had to sign in to say HILARIOUS recap!
LOVED the gay in a kimono listening to opera bit...
I've fallen off the DH bandwagon for a few episodes and this one was just what I needed to get into it again.
Good times WITH THE GAYS!
7 of 7 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on January 13, 2009 12:45 PM