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In her new shoes, Gabby tells Carlos she got him a new job with Bradley. But Carlos already got a new job, at the community center helping the blind. And Gabby is so happy and excited for him! Yeah, except totally not. As Carlos skulks off, Gabby calls Bradley and says that Carlos is interested, so why doesn't he stop by for dinner?

Oooh, I see a disco ball! Lee and Susan enter the gay club, which is missing only two things: 1.) That muscled up, shirtless, over tanned 55 year-old guy who can't dance worth a crap, and 2.) Gale Harold. Susan gets a phone call from Jackson, and is all, "What? Really!" I'm sure his end of the conversation was something like, "I can't believe you went to a gay club without me! Can you score me some ecstasy? If you see Justin or Emmett totally text me!"

On Bree's porch, Melina is drinking beers and crushing the cans under her feet. It's pretty awesome, and FYI, I would loooovvve to drink with her. Because you totally know that after 3 drinks, she'd be all, "I'm buying the shots!" And you'd be all, "No, no really, you don't have to do that" but you wouldn't mean it, and she'd be all, "Fuck you, a-hole, I'm buying the shots!" and then you'd get awesomely wasted while she played Styx songs on the jukebox. Buzzkiller Bree ain't havin' none of that, but I riddle you this: Isn't it better if Melina drinks outside rather than bringing alcohol into the house of a recovering alcoholic? Alex and Andrew arrive to say that Edie was showing them houses, and Melina is surprised that Alex and Andrew are looking for houses in the area, and lets them know that where she's from, "Oakdale" (lame), they can get a house for much less money. And so begins another round of Trashy Mom of a Gay vs. WASPy Mom of a Gay, in this, the Battle of Where the Gay Sons Should Live, Pt. 1.

She's just trying to be polite.

Back in the fun plot line, Lee wishes he could figure out some way to get back at Bob. When Lee asks Susan what's up with the sad face (I'm so not going there), she says that Jackson called from . . . Riverton, where his old art professor offered him a job. Okay, I'm sorry, where are these city names coming from? Do the writers just open up Archie's Double Digest and look for mentions of Riverdale High's rival teams? Geez. Also, Suzy Q, love you, love your hag-ness tonight, but have you seen Jackson's paintings? I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Ah, but the stakes have been raised as she adds that Jackson wants her to move with him. Susan says that she's actually considering it, and Lee brings up this "closing time" analogy, where it's like 2 a.m. in a bar and the lights come on and she just goes home with what's available. It doesn't really work, but Susan talks to Lee about how all her other relationships have ended badly and it's time to make things work. And as an ugly man comes over to Lee (he's actually only "gay ugly," which means that in a straight club he'd be fine), he's all, let me throw him off the scent, and asks to grab one of Susan's boobs. And she lets him, and it is hiLARious!

Oh. My. Gosh. The next day, Susan wakes up in her bra, and who's next to her in bed? Lee! Ha! Ahahahaha! As she runs downstairs in horror, she finds 2 empty wine bottles (and crackers and cheese, which I find very funny, although I'm not sure exactly why), and - this is the clincher - she opens the CD player to find a Smooth Jazz CD! Hee! Lee comes down and says, "Bob's going to kill me!" And, "This was fun. Different, but fun." He slaps Suzy Q on the ass before running off. Sweet! Oh, y'all - big ups to Jamie Gorenberg, the writer of this episode.

I slept with a gay dude! AGAIN!

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by Hypnotoad at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: Nemesiis on Jan 13, 2009 12:45 PM.