Testimonials

Oh boo, back to the Scavos. Normally, I'd be all about them, but tonight they're kind of a dead cow laying across the tracks, delaying the Gay Train on its way to Fabulousville. Lynette spies Preston on the phone, and is all, hey I called you, why didn't you return my calls? And when Preston offers his phone, all, "You're not even on my call log," Lynette grabs that phone and runs! Heh. It's almost enough for me to take back the dead cow comment. Porter's on the other line, and immediately hangs up when he finds Lynette's on the phone. Preston explains why Porter ran away (P.P.S. Cuz Warren Schilling threatened to kill him). Lynette tells him that she can get a restraining order, that she can handle Warren, if Porter could just come back, and that they'll lose the restaurant if he doesn't return home. Preston questions Lynette's loyalty: Porter vs. Pizza. Well, they both start with a "P" so it's pretty much a crap shoot.

Hey, didn't Mike and Katherine used to be on this show?

What's this? Two housewives actually interacting with each other? Cherry must have gotten a memo, cuz Gabby's sitting in Susan's kitchen. Susan tells Gabby about sleeping with someone, but she doesn't name names. A knock at the door interrupts them, and Bob enters, asking about Lee, and how he and Susan went out, and Lee didn't come home. And Lee said he spent the night at Susan's. Gabby, overhearing this, is so surprised she breaks her coffee (or tea) cup. Susan says that Lee loves Bob, but Bob is all, "Yeah, but when he drinks, he'll sleep with anything that has a pulse and facial hair." Hee! And Gabby's laugh when she hears this? So. Effing. Funny. This whole scene is so funny that I just have no snark to go along with it. That's right. You heard me.

You slept with another gay guy? Jesus woman get it together. Does Seacrest know?

Ahhhh yeah - back to McCluskey and Roberta. They're still waiting for Dr. Heller and insulting Shelley Duvall's daughter. She lets it break that Dr. Heller went on a trip and should have been back a week ago. Curious, isn't it . . . Right after that, Dave calls the Dr.'s office, saying he's "Dave Dash," and asking for Heller and a prescription refill. Meanwhile, Roberta's fed up with the wild goose chase and runs out, and as McCluskey chases after her, we hear the secretary confirm "Dave Dash's" new address for his prescription refills: Wisteria Lane. D'oh!

Back to Bree. It's dinner party time! Or, for Bree, Tuesday. Just before dinner, Melina begins Battle of Where the Gay Sons Should Live, Pt. 2, and tells everyone that she told Dr. Harvey in Oakdale that Alex is moving there and can take over his practice. This ain't sittin' well with Bree, who needs Andrew at home so he can be her go-fer, and when Alex and Andrew mention kids, she blurts out that she bought them the Adams's house in Fairview! Oh, dip! Maybe it's my computer screen, but due to the lighting and Bree's choice of a dark sweater, it kind of looks like Bree has lost her body, and only her head is left, floating above the dining table. Bree exits to call Edie re: the Adams' house. Nothin' like putting the cart before the horse.

AAAAHHHHH!

Carlos enters his house to find Bradley and his wife over for dinner. Brad's wife gets all drunk and insulting, and we find out how much of a facade their marriage is. Because Brad is a high-powered . . . oh, it's the same old crap we've seen before: The rich man's wife is unhappy because he's always gone and doesn't see his kids and she's alone but he works hard so she can buy things and money can't buy happiness. On television. In real life, it sure as hell can. So, pretty much Carlos is unconvinced and still wants to help people and actually make a difference in people's lives. Idiot.

Oh, hey, it's Edie. She wakes up in the middle of the night, alone (bet that hasn't happened since the mid-70s) and walks downstairs to find Dave talking to his imaginary (and really, really dead) daughter. He hits her or scratches her or something when she disturbs him, and Edie finally realizes what the rest of us have known for quite some time: Dave's hair looks really, really beige. Oh, and he's crazy.

OMG your head is the same color as the lamp.

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by Hypnotoad at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: Nemesiis on Jan 13, 2009 12:45 PM.