Testimonials

It's night, and Lynette is driving Preston around, ending up at some place I don't recognize. She explains to Preston about how a mother's love for her children is unbreakable, and how she never thought she could love someone so much that she would be willing to do anything and everything to make sure that someone was safe. She goes on to say that it's at this place, a bar, where Warren Schilling goes every night, and she's going to do whatever she has to do to keep her kids safe. It's very chilling, peeps, cuz you know Lynette don't mess around when it comes to her kids. She tells Preston to get out of the car because he can't be there when this happens. Lynette is planning to run over Warren Schilling, but Preston stops her because he's scared shitless and tells her he'll call Porter and get him to come home. I really think Lynette actually would have run over Warren. I mean, once you're bribing 11 year-olds to throw a little league game, it's really just a downhill slope to Homicidetown from there.

Over at the Solis', Carlos "lays it out" for Gabby. Either soul-fulfilling work or a soul-crushing job. Gabby, on the other hand, wants Carlos to earn money to support his family, like she did when Carlos was blind, and they couldn't afford to pay bills. Brow-beaten, Carlos picks up the phone and calls Bradley, telling him he wants the job. Did Carlos really call Bradley? Or did he actually call MovieFone to see when Marley & Me was playing at the AMC? We'll never know.

Buy me those shoes or I'm gonna poke your frickin eyes out.

Susan goes over to Lee's to confront him. Lee is a.) listening to opera, b.) in a kimono, and c.) making tea. Yeah, even Elton John is all, "Damn, queen!" Susan asks if they got it on til the break of dawn, and Lee is all, "Hello! Gay! Listening to opera! In a kimono!" Well, I for one am glad he actually said what we were all thinking. Because we were ALL thinking it. Suzy Q is relieved and ready to move in with Jackson, and when Lee asks if she loves him, she says she's "Getting there." Lee questions her sincerity, and tells her that she shouldn't rush in to a situation like this. Aw, they hug! Lee suggests Susan tell Jackson that she's not ready, and they share another tender moment. Aw!

Preston gets Porter on the phone, but Porter won't tell Lynette where he is, and he doesn't want to come home, even when Lynette says Bob can get the charges dropped. All of a sudden a hand comes out of nowhere and snatches up Porter's phone. I completely thought it would be Anne Schilling, but it turns out, it's Lynette's mom. Don't worry - the plucky, happy violin strings in the background mean we're in for some good natured mishegoss, not evilness and doom!

I made the mistake of trusting your mother and now I'm in wallpaper border hell.

It's the morning after DaveTalkingToDeadPeopleGate, and Edie's all, what the hell, freak? Dave says it's because he's "stressed out." And he then explains that he was married before they met, she died, and last night "she was on his mind." Edie is upset at the news that he was previously married and tells him that he has to pack his bags and leave. Tonight. Whoa. Now, that I did not see coming! Honest to goodness.

Ah, yes, the end of the episode voiceover. What's it all about, Mary Alice? It's about homes and the people behind them. The ladies stare out of their windows, but the only important one is Edie, who stares out as Dave leaves. McCluskey arrives back just in time to see Dave leaving. That's a pretty lame cliffhanger, Cherry.

And with that, the first post-holiday ep is over! Next week: Susan and Edie get locked in a basement (oh, brother); Lynette and her mom reconnect cuz of Porter; Bree argues with Melina. Probably like 5 times. Again...and Mike and Katherine, I don't know, are in the episode. Isn't that enough?

Hurry Edie! They're cutting away! You can do it! You can do it! CRRYYYYYY! No? Ah well maybe some other time. I'm sure the Emmy board bought it.

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by Hypnotoad at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: Nemesiis on Jan 13, 2009 12:45 PM.