Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Orson develops what is supposed to be a bad habit, but it's mostly just lame and ridiculous; Gabby wonders whether lying about Brad's affair is worth having shiny things; Susan and Katherine fight over a crappy painting as she and Mike move in together; and Tom and Lynette vie for the same job position. And Tom Scavo? Asshole. Through and through.
And McC gets a line!
Guys, I'm SOOO sorry for the lateness on this one. Next ep will be up ASAP, okay? That's my promise to you. I wish I could promise better episodes, but, well. . . you know.
Mary Alice tells us about Orson, and how he's always polite, which we can see when he says hello to McCluskey walking by (keep your pants on, she doesn't get to say a damn thing), helps a woman with a lot of packages into her car, blah blah. He's stopping by Scavo's Pizza to see if he can help Tom pack up his pepperoni pipe dream. Remember when Scavo's closed last week? Now where are people going to get the same quality pizza? Oh, yeah -- in the frozen foods section of the grocery store. It's called Jack's, people, and even though it costs $3.00, it tastes like it costs $2.00.
Orson sees a salt shaker that belonged to Tom's grandfather and offers to buy it, but it's not for sale. Oh, the suspense! Tom is in a really pissy mood, you guys. Orson says he wants to help because he remembers what it's like to have your livelihood taken away, since he used to be a dentist before that whole icky attempted vehicular homicide thing. Tom's insulted since, you know, his business closed cuz of a bad economy and his son's alleged arson, and not cuz of an actual guilty charge and jail time. He has a point, but still, how big is the calzone shoved up Tom's ass? Credits.
I'm sorry, but that represents what Lynette will look like in fifteen years. Not for sale.
Mike's moved in to Katherine's house, and Katherine thinks it's a good idea to throw a housewarming party. She gives invitations to Bree, Gabby, and Edie, but then Susan comes up and is all in their business. Gabby's all, "We were talking about the federal deficit! Whoo, that sucker's big." You know, it will probably always be big, but I think it was a jibe about how the economy sucks today, and I'm really sick of this show bringing it up. Because, as I said earlier, if I want to hear that crap I can listen to Morning Edition or All Things Considered on NPR, because that's ALL they freaking talk about nowadays. Turns out, Susan is invited, and Edie's wondering where the cat-fight is. Me too! Also, where's Lynette? Isn't she like out of a job now that Scavo's gone the way of Showbiz Pizza Place? Seems to me like she has nothing but porch-and-bitch time.
Edie's still wondering why Susan and Katherine are down with each other, and is all, "Hey Gabby, remember when I was with Carlos?" and Gabby's all, "Shut it, bitch." Hee! Now THAT, says Edie, is normal. I'm sure neither Katherine nor Susan are harboring any deep bitchiness towards each other that will not boil over and come to a head in bitchslap form at the housewarming party. Are we taking bets on what Susan will fall on or have thrown on her? Hors d'oeuvres? Alcohol? Cake/pie? Feces? My bet's on food or liquid, but it would be awesome if someone threw poo at her.
Over at Scavo's Pizzeria of Shame and Liquidation, Lynette's hair is trying to escape from her body, as if the hair itself has finally given up on this season and wants to get as far away from it as possible. Also, some dude is offering her $6,000 for a $12,000 pizza oven. She caves in at $6,200. The good news is that they'll have enough money to pay the creditors and give Bree back the $20,000 she let them borrow, but the bad news is they won't even be able to afford generic wieners made from chicken, beef, pork, and other. The asshat offers $50 for the $200 cappucino maker, which Lynette ain't down with.
Kinda missing the wig right now.
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Comments (4)
Great Recap as always Hypotoad!
Wow i'm pretty confident in labeling this one of the worst episodes of Desperate Housewives...ever.
The only good part was with Edie and Gabby and the "Shut it Bitch" line..
And yes...Orson and his kelpto thing...worst.storyline.ever.
season 6 you can't come soon enough!
and yay Marc Cherry said he's planning to give Kathrine a bigger part in season 6! yay for something to look forward too!!
1 of 4 | Posted by travi360 | Posted on March 14, 2009 10:30 PM
So I was switching over to Desperate Housewives and I went too far and ended up on Fox. Family Guy was on and Peter had gone GAY. Then Stewie and Brian tried to get him de-GAYED. Then Peter stopped being GAY but it happened while he was engaged in an ORGY with 11 other GAY guys. Worst GAY stereotypes ever. Very Funny. Very GAY.
I did watch the second half of Desperate Housewives. Orson's klepto storyline (yawn) pretty lame-o. You know, I liked it last season when Katherine was being threatened by her creepy ex-husband. I also liked it when Jackie (Roseanne's sister) took hostages in the super market. I remember Dixie Carter was pretty funny too. That storyline was good.
Maybe, MC is out of ideas? I don't know. Next season I hope we go back to the past because this five years in the future stuff has been crap.
Thanks for the recap Hypnotoad.
2 of 4 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on March 15, 2009 10:06 AM
Yeah, I really enjoyed the Family Guy ep (and I usually hate Family Guy). And you made some good points: Those past plots and guests were great (I also loved Valerie Mahaffey as Orson's ex-wife).
These episodes have been completely lackluster. There's been nothing remotely interesting this season at all. It had potential with Dave, but the writers haven't been doing the show, or the fans, justice. All of my friends who loved the show have stopped watching it, and they always ask me, "Well, so what's happening now?" And I always say, "Nothing. I wish I could say you're missing something, but you're not." It's really sad.
3 of 4 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on March 15, 2009 11:25 AM
At church (huh?) Edie walks over to the priest from earlier (oh, now I get it) to talk to him. The priest freaks out and throws holy water on Edie, shouting, "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!!"
LMAO--you're so appealing to my sick twisted catholic guilt self!!!
I think Edie and Mrs. C should do a spin off, I would gladly watch that over this.
I just can't buy Mike and Katherine as a couple, sorry Dana, and I can't buy her turning from that uptight shrew to the nicey nice GF. No it's not as off the mark as Hero's persay, but too jarring, and boooooring for me.
More naked Carlos, I liked it better when everyone was cheating.
I hope a giant anvil drops from the sky, landing on the Scavo house and killing them all instantly, and then Susan walks by and Lynette's hand grabs her and pulls her into the depths of hell (maybe I shouldn't give MC any ideas . . . )
Thanks Hypno!!! Esp thanks for sitting through this however many times it took to cap!
4 of 4 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 17, 2009 2:15 PM