Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Carlos gets a huge promotion that comes with a huge blast from the past; Lynette looks for a new job; Susan looks confused when she's hit on by a lesbian; and Dave finally prepares for that camping trip that he's been talking about for like 5 episodes.
Oh yeah, and Juanita beats down Bree.
Carlos and Gabby, wearing black, are headed to a funeral, and Mary Alice says that Gabby hates funerals because she doesn't look good in black (actually, she does), crying makes her depressed (um, isn't that why you cry in the first place? I know that's why I can't stop crying right now. Oh, wait, that's because I'm watching season 5 of Desperate Housewives), and lilies make her sneeze (can you be allergic to just one type of flower? Isn't that like saying, "Oh, I'm not allergic to dogs per se, just shih tzus.").
Mary Alice also says that Gabby hates funerals because she's not the center of attention, but all that changes when Skinny McRedhead asks her about what went down with Brad's stabbing (oh, yeah, they're at Brad's funeral). The CEO of Brad and Carlos's company comes up to Carlos and says that Brad had called him before he died to talk about Carlos's performance. Long story short, the CEO never found out that Brad fired Carlos and now wants him to replace Brad -- as President of the company.
Yeah well I want Gabby "fat" and poor again, but we can't all get what we want.
Mary Alice voice overs about agendas, which leads us to Edie walking into the offices of the Mount Pleasant Gazette, the paper that brings you such riveting stories as "Arlie and Ramona Friesen Celebrate 50th Wedding Anniversary," and "VFW Pancake Breakfast Enjoyed By All." Seriously -- I grew up in the smallest, Mennonite-iest town you can imagine, and that's pretty much what every single newspaper looked like. Edie wants to look someone up in the archives. Oh, hey! The old guy helping her is Patty Duke's dad from "The Patty Duke Show!" Cuz they're cousins, identical cousins! Implausible? Definitely. Enjoyable? Hell yes.
Edie's looking for info on Dave Dash, and the old dude pulls out the obits and finds Lila Dash, who was killed three years ago in a car crash. Car crash?! Didn't Mike and Susan kill a couple people in a car crash?! And didn't we all put those two things together in episode 2?! Yes. Yes we did. Also, there was a Paige Dash who died in the crash as well. This is news to Edie, who didn't know that Dave had had a daughter. But we did, so this really isn't thrilling.
But this still is!
Bree pulls up in her fancy car to get in on the dishy action between Susan and Gabby, who are actually dishing about a dish. A candy dish that was stolen from Susan's house. They both think Gabby's daughter did it, because we all know how much senorita Juanita loves her candy! But no, Susan says she remembers seeing it a while ago because Orson complimented it. Ugh, seriously? Usually I'm one for continuity, but I wish the writers would just drop this stupid z-plot and make it go away. It's not intriguing, or interesting, mmkay? Susan's hair looks good today. Bree quickly backs up and heads for home. She calls Andrew and tells him to cancel her lunch because Orson's misplaced a few things and she needs to find them. Hey, while you're looking Bree, can you try to find a good episode from this season? No? Well, keep looking, honey -- there's a good 5 or so episodes left before this season ends.
Over at an ad agency, Lynette sits and waits for an interview, calling Tom to see if any other agencies have called back. They haven't. Two ladies, also interviewing for the position, bitch about being almost 30 and how after 35, in this industry "they take you out back and shoot you in the face." Hee. Lynette's up for her interview.
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Comments (10)
You guys, I'm sorry, but the last couple episodes have been completely lame. The Orson story line is probably the worst one this show has ever had. And Lynette returning to work and fearing that she's too old to do it? Well-worn territory from 3 seasons ago. I feel like the whole writing staff of the show has gotten really lazy. Some of the dialogue is great, but it can't make up for the complete lack of originality that I've come to expect from this show. I've gone from really loving it to only (barely) liking it, and it makes me sad to say that.
1 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on March 18, 2009 11:55 PM
"Lynette is at an interview, and the guy wants to know how old she is"
In real life, it's totally illegal to ask someone their age in a job interview...just sayin'
2 of 10 | Posted by mariabird522 | Posted on March 19, 2009 6:04 AM
Hypnotoad, you took a boring episode and made it really, really funny. You rock!
"stupidexia lameeosa" - hee!
3 of 10 | Posted by Clair | Posted on March 19, 2009 9:22 AM
Lately, I haven't even bothered watching the show. It's lame and boring and over the edge of ridiculous. Orson stealing stuff? Really? DUMB. DUMB. DUMB!!! I never liked his character and now I really hate him. Kill him off. Maybe the storyline would be more interesting.
As much as I'm doing to miss Edie (because she gives every scene she's in a little more flavor in an otherwise bland episode), I'm NOT going to miss Dave. I'm sorry, but anyone who doesn't know that he's a nutjob with alterior motives to everything he does is a dumbass. If he even said "Hi" to me, I'd be reaching for my baseball bat to protect myself.
We need McClusky back. And more Lee time. Can't have too much Lee.
4 of 10 | Posted by crmsnkatt | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:41 AM
Hypno, did you not see the tongue in that kiss (kidding, I started epi late and missed the lip lock)
I agree, this season is lame, and I doubt I'll watch after Edie's gone. I've really liked the times they got deep with Edie and explained her slutty ways etc, I still want a spin off with her and McClusky--they could be private eyes catching cheaters!!!
Okay, how many ways can we ask Cherry to make Carlos strip!!! I hope he has an affair with Lucy, coz affairs are the only time these peeps get their grove on . . .
The arson/murder investigation has been very sloppily resolved, or not, but since it's only been a couple days, as the camping trip was for the weekend, I guess it could still be ongoing. What a difference a day makes, and how come Edie isn't camping anymore . . . I was expecting her to take a bullet heroically to stop Katherine's murder.
I also agree about the kid . . . .he should kill him (arghhhh--see how much I'm hating!)
But kuddos to you, Hypno!!! Thanks for slogging thru this poo for us!
5 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 19, 2009 11:34 AM
Episode not that bad. I liked the awkward kiss, the roundtable discussion afterward, Gabby realizing Carlos had done the fat chick when the fat chick was fat AND the Lynette/Gabby porch scene.
Not a great episode but better than all episodes of the last month combined.
Uh, How can Patty Duke's TV father still be alive? He should be dead. What is he? A 110?
Regarding that love situation you don't have, uh, have you thought about a pet? BTW: Love is overrated. They always expect you to stay home and spend time with them. OY. Oh, and they frown upon you going out and drinking and picking up some hot cutie for a quickie.
I'm single. Can you believe that?
6 of 10 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on March 19, 2009 12:36 PM
I'm sorry but I was totally offended by Susan's "lesbian" boots. First off, wasn't it already established that you can't tell that someone is a lesbian by the way they dress (Susan cluelessness towards her boss). Second, those boots are like, $550 at Barney's. SHE THREW THEM AWAY? SHE WORE THEM BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD RAIN??? Come ON costume dept!!!! Try a little harder. This show stinks.
7 of 10 | Posted by firecrackered | Posted on March 19, 2009 2:36 PM
Hey guys, bad news: the next recap will be pretty late. I was pulling out the wire to my speakers, and it broke off. In my macbook's speaker jack. So now, I have no sound at all. It's getting fixed (for free, thank god), but I don't have cable or a DVR (yeah. I know, right?), and without sound, I'd just have to guess what everyone's saying, and the recap would look like this:
"Susan and Gabby are arguing about something. I think it has to do with canteloupe. Or 18th century Russian literature. Dave wants to go camping really bad. I think Katherine is saying something about his beige hair . . . or maybe she said 'baby care.' I don't know. Lynette is bitching about something. Probably saying something about, 'in today's economy...'"
Flipit and I have decided that the best thing for me to do is recap the March 22nd and 29th back to back, or, I'll recap the March 22nd ep if my laptop gets fixed soon. I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, pray for my laptop and my iTunes, and God bless Apple Care.
8 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on March 23, 2009 1:50 PM
Also, juddfan, I'm with you on the arson storyline. How did that all end up? I guess no one involved with the show cared. I'm sure in the last 5 minutes of the show someone will wrap that up with a sentence of dialogue. Convenient.
I hope they drop the Orson klepto plot point. Even without a resolution, that would be fine. It's just so dumb. I remember the last season of Felicity, when Felicity plagiarized a term paper, and it was the dumbest thing ever and pretty out of character (if you ask me). And then on the last episode, Felicity was like, "Yeah, she just handed me my grade and said, 'congratulations on graduating.' I failed the paper but passed the class." And that was it. And it was awesome. They should do something like that. Orson could be all, "Oh, by the way, I'm not stealing any more."
9 of 10 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on March 23, 2009 2:03 PM
You know these episodes are painful to watch. Edie only DATED Carl and Carlos and hired private detectives to follow them. Dave was as squirrely as he could be yet she did nothing!
What did Jessie see in Susan's bony ass? I swear Susan always looks like she stinks. When she was dancing and trying to get the kids to paint? I'm with Jessie: for 22,000 I need a knick knack, pencil holder, something!
The whole Orson plot is lazy writing and stupid. He deserves more. What a bitch though! He needs to find his own thing instead of whining about Bree being the breadwinner. Better yet, sit back and hng with Lee, Tom and Gabby.
I love your recaps. I look forward to these more than I do the actual show.
-r
10 of 10 | Posted by msrachee | Posted on March 31, 2009 7:45 PM