Previously on Desperate Housewives: I wrote a recap about it, so you should read it. Because it's fun!

Mary Alice blahs about certain ladies in the suburbs, basically saying that all women in the burbs dress like crap when they run errands because they have no real jobs and nothing better to do than pop out some kids and make dinner. Which is bullshit. I mean, just look at . . . Lynette . . . Huh.

Gabby's at dinner, looking all frumpy, which on this show means Eva Longoria Parker is wearing a t-shirt and a scrunchie. Oooh, she's so fugly now! Whatever. Also, the restaurant they're at isn't exactly Old Country Buffet, it looks kind of upscale, so I don't know why Gabby wouldn't at least try to throw on a nice shirt. Juannie Sue throws some food at Gabby, making Gabby seem 1/16th more frumpy. Ana's listening to her ipod. Rude. All of a sudden, who should walk up but John the Gardener, the kid Gabby slept with in season 1 and season 2 or something, who then got married last season. Or something. He's not a kid now, though, cuz he got divorced and now owns the restaurant. Ugh, it's hard just to look at Carlos with that haircut. Credits.

You guys need any eyebrow wax? Cuz I've got a ton and I just can't get through it all no matter how hard I try.

Mary Alice blahs about how the day starts with coffee, and y'all, Katherine desperately needs some, because she looks like crap. Ha! Dana Delany funny.

You have no lines today. Go back to bed.

Lynette, Susan, and Gabby hang out outside and talk about the new neighbors over coffee. Bree would join them, but I guess she's too busy giving hot Karl a hot Richard over at the Sleep Eazy Motel. The Bolens pull up in their driveway, and it looks like Hot Gay Bob is their lawyer. Oh, Bob. Just take your shirt off already. Seriously, I would not give a crap about how bad the plot lines or scripts are if every guy just walked around without a shirt.

Susan's totally fine with the fact that Bob is the Bolen's lawyer. Except not at all. So in typical Susan fashion she whine-yells (whells?) at Bob and then when Angie's all, Let's talk about this, Susan decides to cause a scene. What is up with the people on Wisteria Lane? It's like they can smell drama four houses down, because for some reason like 15 people are outside now. I bet they don't even set their alarms -- they just listen for the shrill, annoying sound of Susan Mayer whining at 7 in the morning and say to themselves,"Oh, it's Susan Mayer bitching about something. Time to wake up. Listen, I'm going to snooze for a little bit. Wake me when you hear Lynette Scavo yelling at her poor husband again, because that means I have half an hour before work." Susan's all, "Her son tried to kill my daughter and that means no one on this street is safe!" at the top of her lungs. Everyone's like, "Meh. What are you gonna do? At least they're white."

Over at the motel (told you), Karl brings over a breakfast burrito for Bree, who'd rather have a "croissant." And of course she pronounces it in that hi-falutin' Frenchy way. Bree has an event today so the two of them can't hang tonight, but Karl wants them to blow off their engagements so he can take her to Vegas. And Bree's like, "LAS Vegas?" No, sweetie, Canada Vegas. Dumbass. I swear that Karl says, "I can lose my 'shit' in the casino and then I can come up to the room and you can lose yours," but the third time I listened to it, I can tell he says "shirt." Which is disappointing. People should be allowed to say "shit" on non-SNL TV, if you ask me. But you didn't, so back to the recap. Bree says Boreson would notice if she's gone for a weekend. She doesn't see her and Karl having a romantic weekend together as something that should happen and wants to keep things uncomplicated.

I don't have the energy to deep clean another hotel room, k?

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by Hypnotoad at 1:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Memete on Oct 18, 2009 10:23 AM.