Mary Alice says that Bree Hodge had a problem. Yeah? Just one, Mary Alice? Apparently your ability to do math died along with you in your impeccably decorated living room. Mary Alice says Bree's trying hard not to fall in love with Karl, who has bad table manners and parks in handicapped spots and looks at other women's boobies. But since Bree's starting to fall in love with him, she does the only rational thing: She breaks it off. But what's this? Karl has a little present for Bree. No, not his weenis -- it's a cameo brooch. Which belonged to his grandmother. Wow, I'm sure his grandmother would be proud to know that her precious heirloom has been passed down to a married ho who's cheating on her husband with her grandson. Anyone else completely sick of this plot? I'll admit that last season I was like, "Eh? Bree and Karl? Interesting!" But then again, I was excited about anything that took focus away from the beige-haired douchebag story line. But you know what? I get it, Cherry: Bree and Karl are having an affair. They've been having one for like 8 episodes, now where the hell are you gonna go with this, huh!? NOTHING is happening! They sleep together at motels, and then in the next episode they sleep together in motels, and in the next episode they sleep together in motels. That's it! I am at my limit!! Make. Something. Happen!! Credits.

Time to bring out the Kimberly in you and start blowing stuff up.

Uh-ohsies! We're at the principal's office! Her name is Anne Peterson, and I know what you're thinking -- "A woman principal?! Blasphemy!" But you can relax, because she's white, thank god, so it's all good. But now we're leaving the principal's office and headed to the auditorium. Oh! I hope it's a lyceum about staying off drugs performed by actors who were so terrible that they were rejected by even community theater and are now touring Kansas elementary schools in a mini-van! Ah, childhood.

But no, it's a Thanksgiving play put on by the kids at Juannie Sue's school. Carlos is taping it, because this is season 6 and he's boring now. Gabby tells Carlos not to be impressed with Juanita's acting skills, and rightfully so, since Juanita struggles with the word "persecution" and then goes, "Aw --" at which point the screen freezes and Mary Alice says she utters a certain 4-letter word. I, for one, think Juanita dropped the f-bomb. But if you want to pretend it's "shit," that's fine too. You can even pretend it's "darn," if you want, but then you'd be Amish and if you don't have electricity then how could you possibly be reading this recap? Odd.

Hey, it's the Indians that cursed! That's why we killed them all and stole their land. Pick a side!

Meanwhile, Bree and Orson are headed over to someone's house with a pie, because, well, that's what they do. Nothing says "the Hodge family" quite like channeling sexual and marital frustration into baked goods. Turns out they're headed to Susan and Mike's house, and they don't want people to know they have marital problems. So, turns out Bree is wearing the brooch that Karl gave her, and Susan recognizes it as Karl's grandma's brooch that he gave to Susan years ago, before Susan "lost" it. Okay. Why the hell would Bree even wear it over to Susan's? That's just ludicrously stupid. I mean, I just . . . I can't . . . she's just . . . ugh! Dumb! And then Karl shows up to drop off Julie (so, even though she's like 30 now they still share custody?), and then everyone's like, Oh it's so weird that the brooch was lost and now it turned up and Bree where did you get it and why does Mike still have his shirt on?

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Posted in Desperate Housewives by Hypnotoad at 12:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Last Comment: gsensel on Nov 10, 2009 03:52 PM.