Back at the hospital, someone sprays mist on McCluskey as she's sleeping, and McCluskey's all, "Geez, Roberta!" Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod! Roberta is played by Lily Tomlin! Skinny and sweet! Galaxy Glue! Cussing out David Russell on the set of I Heart Huckabees! What is there not to love about Lily Tomlin? Finally - a season 5 I can get on board with! Bless your Log Cabin ass, Cherry. Roberta is smoking and drinking bourbon out of a coffee cup, and wearing cheetah print. Ha! Anyway, they shoot the shit for a little bit, and McCluskey asks if she can come live with Roberta for a while, and gives her the skinny (no sweet) on Dave. Roberta works for Teleshore, a cell phone company, which works out perfectly since Dave's cell phone co. is Teleshore as well (remember when McCluskey went through his mail? That's how she knows.). Roberta agrees to look into Dave's records. McCluskey asks Roberta to smuggle in a cold beer for her, and Roberta pulls out a tallboy of some cheap domestic beer. Ha! Oh, I dearly hope we get to see more of these two. Gold! Pure gold.
Is a frog's ass water tight?
Susan knocks on Jackson's apartment door, with some pathetic tin of take-out. His apartment door is ajar, and Susan hears the shower running. Thinking it's a good idea, Susan takes off all her clothes and enters the bedroom. Since it's Susan, we all know this ain't gonna turn out like she planned. Sure enough, Suzy-Q opens the shower door to find a naked lady, who in turn squirts shampoo all over Susan's face and eyes. In her blind confusion, Susan accidentally pushes the girl against the shower wall and knocks her out cold. Okay, I totally LOLed, because you guys, that was some funny crap.
Back in Jackson's kitchen, Susan, with radiant and shiny hair, asks if Naked Lady is okay as she holds ice on her head. They're both all, "Who the hell are you?" Susan, audience -- meet Darcy. Darcy - Susan, audience. Susan says she's Jackson's girlfriend; Darcy says Jackson didn't mention a girlfriend at "the club;" Susan calls Darcy a slut. Meow! Jackson enters with a pizza and is all, "Oh . . . crap." Susan is a complete beyotch to Jackson and whines about how he got over her real fast and slept with another girl "15 minutes" after they broke up. The two of them argue about their relationship problems and a future or lack thereof. Three words, y'all: Ross and Rachel.
Lee goes over to Lynette's house with a bottle of some fancy liquor, and says that they should celebrate the fact that The Tom Scavo Experience has found someplace other than the garage to rehearse. Oh, I hope Lynette gets drunk! I love Drunk Lynette. And drunk Lee could be fun too. One of the Damons (damn, long time no see) comes down with his friend Kirby. It's Porter, and he is staying the night at Kirby's; Kirby's mom is Anne. The one who sold Tom the "rehearsal space." Kirby lets it slip that his mom was over there the other day. Oopsies. Lynette is confused, and then pissed in her tight-lipped way. Kirby says his mom was there to help drop off a futon. Lee is all, why does Tom need a bed? Hmmm, interesting point, Lee. Interesting and paranoid. Lynette tries to make nothing out of it and fails.
Bad gay neighbor. Bad.
Over at . . . rehearsal . . . The Tom Scavo Experience is just ending one of their hardcore jam sessions. These are the early days of The Tom Scavo Experience, before Carlos quit the band and tried to branch out on his own with an experimental collaboration album with Yoko Ono. Before Orson got hooked on blow and lit a hotel room on fire. Would the band survive those trying times? We'll find out tonight on VH1's Behind the Music.
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Comments (18)
I literally was like "Well at least he didn't murder anyone" about the guy Katherine slept with. Pretty bad.
Is Porter the Scavo that was cybering with Lynette? I am too lazy to look it up.
I really was so sold on Dave being related to the people Mike killed in the car accident.
1 of 18 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:22 PM
Hi - I love your recaps, and I'm actually not done with this one yet, but I wanted to point out that Bree told Katherine to get a 'pedicure' (or do one or something like that). That's when she said, "What do you bet I take my socks off and see if Orson's already done it for me?"
Still not utterly hilarious, but at least now it makes sense. :-)
2 of 18 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:37 PM
Hi - I love your recaps and look forward to them! I just wanted to point out that Bree actually told Katherine to get a 'pedicure', when Katherine responded with "What do you bet I take my socks off and see if Orson's already done it for me?"
Still not utterly hilarious, but at least now it makes sense. :-)
3 of 18 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:42 PM
I loved the new spelling of Blu. It totally reminded me of Blu Cantrell who sang Hit Em Up Style. Good song. ha
4 of 18 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:42 PM
Sorry about that double posting, I thought I canceled the first :-/
5 of 18 | Posted by nakabe | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:51 PM
nakabe - But see, it still doesn't make sense to me. It's all about the semantics. If Katherine had said something like, "What do you bet I REACH DOWN TO take my socks off and see Orson's already done it for me?" then it would make sense. It's weird that she says she actually takes them off and then notices that they were already off. She can't take off her socks herself and then notice that someone else had already done it.
Or, I may just be crazy.
6 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 2:54 PM
hypnotoad- You're not crazy but what she meant was that Orson would have already done her pedicure for her =)
Great recap as always! I'm with you in ur McClusky love and Jackson hair hatred.
7 of 18 | Posted by corndog | Posted on November 5, 2008 4:02 PM
Holy. Crap. I'm not crazy, I'm just. Frigging. Stupid. Dang. I totally did not get that. I bow down before you, gasmii. I tip my hat to you sirs/madams.
8 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 4:47 PM
I think Porter actually offered to cover Tom's car, which makes that part a little less silly.
And also, are these episodes even good? I have never seen any before this season (because no Gale Harold = no kelsey), so I have nothing to compare them to...but the Dave story is lagging and it makes me crazy.
9 of 18 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:35 PM
Holy crap. Was I even paying attention to this episode? I blame the rum. Partially.
Kelsey - the show was darn awesome in the past. Even season 1, which is arguably the best season of the show. That rarely happens. If you can, I'd check it out. The mystery was much more interesting and fast-paced, and the "evil" characters were much darker. Season 2 was okay, and I really loved season 3. Season 4 was affected by the writers strike, but I felt that the mystery then really kept my interest.
Rent season 1 on DVD. I guarantee you'll be hooked. And also, very surprised about how some of the characters acted back then.
10 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:51 PM
But to add my humble opinion (which I should have done in the first place), this season is completely the weakest of all DH seasons. I really feel that they're not giving Lynette anything to do other than be suspicious/jealous of Tom, and that road has been well-covered. And as for the other ladies, there's just nothing there. I liked it when the actual ladies of Wisteria Lane were involved in the "mysteries," and so far this season, it hasn't really happened.
11 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:56 PM
"and Susan offers to pay him more than she is now."
I took that to mean she felt the new painter was worth more... but I didn't get she would cough it up or anything. Still, it was a nice exchange.
reading on...
12 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:00 AM
Hey DP -- "Is Porter the Scavo that was cybering with Lynette? I am too lazy to look it up."
me too, but I am pretty sure it's the twin bc he looks a little bit different, plus they prob have to give both boys some screen time, contractually speaking, non?
just a guess.
Also, yeah -- Lily fucking Tomlin -- I had no idea and was soooooo psyched to see her! She is such an incredible comedian. If you ever get the chance to see her legendary one woman show - do.
more l8r............
13 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:08 AM
btw, hypnotoad - this is some hilariously snarky shit you've got going on here. loving these recaps.
I've really gotta go to bed..........
14 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:14 AM
Agree this is one of the lamest seasons of DH. I don't hate the 5 year jump, but there just isn't much action ... and it's SLOW. I like always love Neil McDon. (Dave) and was excited for his addition, but it's meandering and ... well, kind of lame.
Lily Tomlin was super, and McClusky is fun this year too. I liked the old Katherine better, she was super last year. Oh ... and Tom & Lynnette drive me crazy. What's up with her hair, anyways? Partial wig? She was best when she was working at the ad agency as super-mom.
OK, that's my two cents.
Enjoyed the recap Hypnotoad..gracias for your work!
15 of 18 | Posted by Yur Mom | Posted on November 6, 2008 9:14 AM
You guys, I totally just scoured the northern Chicago area for "9 to 5" and I finally found it at Barnes and Noble in Evanston. Hee! When she's wheeling that body out of the hospital -- I love me some Lily Tomlin!
Since the Katherine/McCluskey Mystery Hour proved to be a disappointment, I'm glad to see Cherry brought in Tomlin. I have a feeling that the McCluskey/Sister McCluskey Mystery Hour will be even better!
16 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 7, 2008 10:44 PM
Love your recaps! I looked up that Ann Kirby--she is played by Gail O'Grady from NYPD Blue.
17 of 18 | Posted by EllenA551 | Posted on November 8, 2008 6:23 PM
Dude, Dave Williams is in Angels in the Outfield. Don't ask why I was watching that, but seriously. He plays a moron with beige hair.
18 of 18 | Posted by christ911 | Posted on November 16, 2008 12:37 PM