Oh, hey, Mike's in the band. When they all break for a beer, Dave compliments Mike on "having the heart of a blues man." Mike says that that's what the big house will do to you, and Dave says that yeah, he'd heard about Mike's stint in the slammer. Dave wants to amp up the rehearsal schedule. Seriously. Mike's not sure about that, and Dave asks what's more important than The Tom Scavo Experience. Um, how about everything, Dave? Geez, taking a crap is more important than your stupid band. Mike talks about his work, son, and apparently he just started seeing a girl. Dave insists, and Mike calls him out on being weird about the band. As sinister music plays in the background, Dave says he just likes to have fun. Ugh, lame. We knew Betty Applewhite's secret in the first episode of season 2, you stupid writers! Mary Alice shot herself in the freaking pilot episode! Please, give us something to latch onto besides stealing a cat and returning it, re-arranging pictures on a wall, and really really wanting to form a band (really really with Mike).
Lynette sits by herself at home. Welcome to the club, lady. She answers the phone, and it's Tom on the other line, who says that they just really got "into a groove" at rehearsal and he'll be home tomorrow morning, which is okay by Lynette. Although, it's odd, because outside her window, she sees Mike and Orson. So, our little lonely-hearts goes down to the loft and what does she see? Tom making sweet, sweet love . . . to his video games. And seriously, the special sound effects sound like Pong.
Oh shit. You're not the sexy cheating husband. You're just a really sad sad dork.
Tom tells Lynette he wanted to hang out for a bit, and Lynette freaks the eff out and is all, You're having an affair and you're leaving me and moving out! Tom says that he just needed some time away from everything, but if all this new stuff like the car (which is actually not new, by the way) and the band is making her bat-shit crazy insane jealous (which, actually, Lynette has always been, by the way), then he's done with it all. Atta boy, Tom. Cave like you always do. Lynette wants him to come home and while they're hugging, Tom spies a condom wrapper on the floor and hides it with his foot. Oh, dip! Is Tom having an affair? I actually kind of hope so. There. I said it. Lynette says, "Maybe when you come home you can teach me how to play that video game." It's Pong, Lynette. Can't be that hard. Man, Lynette looks beat. Tom picks up the condom wrapper and stares at it, as if to say, "Extra large? Who was I kidding. Next time I'll get a medium."
Hey, remember Gabby? Yeah, she's back and at the country club, looking for Carlos. She finds Clay, and tells him all about the Mrs. Hildebrand/Europe thing. She's happy about it until Clay tells her about the orgasm thing. Which Gabby's not too cool with. Clay says Carlos is at Mrs. Hildebrand's, giving her his magic touch.
At Susan's, Jackson says that the two of them need to talk. About your hair, Jackson? Because that'd be a conversation worth having. They argue about the same old crap - oh, where's our future? Why did you push me away? Why can't you let me in? Why are you jealous when YOU broke up with ME? Susan wants to start over, and asks Jackson if they even can. Jackson leaves without saying goodbye, and Susan sits for a second, wondering if it's time for one of her patented squeals. No, Susan. It's never time for that. The phone rings, and who's on the other end? It's Jackson. He re-introduces himself. They pretend they're just starting out and set up a first date. It's so cute it makes me want to throw up. Repeatedly. And then throw up again when I see Jackson's hair.
By the way, when did Julie turn into a fifty year old black man?
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Comments (18)
I literally was like "Well at least he didn't murder anyone" about the guy Katherine slept with. Pretty bad.
Is Porter the Scavo that was cybering with Lynette? I am too lazy to look it up.
I really was so sold on Dave being related to the people Mike killed in the car accident.
1 of 18 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:22 PM
Hi - I love your recaps, and I'm actually not done with this one yet, but I wanted to point out that Bree told Katherine to get a 'pedicure' (or do one or something like that). That's when she said, "What do you bet I take my socks off and see if Orson's already done it for me?"
Still not utterly hilarious, but at least now it makes sense. :-)
2 of 18 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:37 PM
Hi - I love your recaps and look forward to them! I just wanted to point out that Bree actually told Katherine to get a 'pedicure', when Katherine responded with "What do you bet I take my socks off and see if Orson's already done it for me?"
Still not utterly hilarious, but at least now it makes sense. :-)
3 of 18 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:42 PM
I loved the new spelling of Blu. It totally reminded me of Blu Cantrell who sang Hit Em Up Style. Good song. ha
4 of 18 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:42 PM
Sorry about that double posting, I thought I canceled the first :-/
5 of 18 | Posted by nakabe | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:51 PM
nakabe - But see, it still doesn't make sense to me. It's all about the semantics. If Katherine had said something like, "What do you bet I REACH DOWN TO take my socks off and see Orson's already done it for me?" then it would make sense. It's weird that she says she actually takes them off and then notices that they were already off. She can't take off her socks herself and then notice that someone else had already done it.
Or, I may just be crazy.
6 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 2:54 PM
hypnotoad- You're not crazy but what she meant was that Orson would have already done her pedicure for her =)
Great recap as always! I'm with you in ur McClusky love and Jackson hair hatred.
7 of 18 | Posted by corndog | Posted on November 5, 2008 4:02 PM
Holy. Crap. I'm not crazy, I'm just. Frigging. Stupid. Dang. I totally did not get that. I bow down before you, gasmii. I tip my hat to you sirs/madams.
8 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 4:47 PM
I think Porter actually offered to cover Tom's car, which makes that part a little less silly.
And also, are these episodes even good? I have never seen any before this season (because no Gale Harold = no kelsey), so I have nothing to compare them to...but the Dave story is lagging and it makes me crazy.
9 of 18 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:35 PM
Holy crap. Was I even paying attention to this episode? I blame the rum. Partially.
Kelsey - the show was darn awesome in the past. Even season 1, which is arguably the best season of the show. That rarely happens. If you can, I'd check it out. The mystery was much more interesting and fast-paced, and the "evil" characters were much darker. Season 2 was okay, and I really loved season 3. Season 4 was affected by the writers strike, but I felt that the mystery then really kept my interest.
Rent season 1 on DVD. I guarantee you'll be hooked. And also, very surprised about how some of the characters acted back then.
10 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:51 PM
But to add my humble opinion (which I should have done in the first place), this season is completely the weakest of all DH seasons. I really feel that they're not giving Lynette anything to do other than be suspicious/jealous of Tom, and that road has been well-covered. And as for the other ladies, there's just nothing there. I liked it when the actual ladies of Wisteria Lane were involved in the "mysteries," and so far this season, it hasn't really happened.
11 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:56 PM
"and Susan offers to pay him more than she is now."
I took that to mean she felt the new painter was worth more... but I didn't get she would cough it up or anything. Still, it was a nice exchange.
reading on...
12 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:00 AM
Hey DP -- "Is Porter the Scavo that was cybering with Lynette? I am too lazy to look it up."
me too, but I am pretty sure it's the twin bc he looks a little bit different, plus they prob have to give both boys some screen time, contractually speaking, non?
just a guess.
Also, yeah -- Lily fucking Tomlin -- I had no idea and was soooooo psyched to see her! She is such an incredible comedian. If you ever get the chance to see her legendary one woman show - do.
more l8r............
13 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:08 AM
btw, hypnotoad - this is some hilariously snarky shit you've got going on here. loving these recaps.
I've really gotta go to bed..........
14 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:14 AM
Agree this is one of the lamest seasons of DH. I don't hate the 5 year jump, but there just isn't much action ... and it's SLOW. I like always love Neil McDon. (Dave) and was excited for his addition, but it's meandering and ... well, kind of lame.
Lily Tomlin was super, and McClusky is fun this year too. I liked the old Katherine better, she was super last year. Oh ... and Tom & Lynnette drive me crazy. What's up with her hair, anyways? Partial wig? She was best when she was working at the ad agency as super-mom.
OK, that's my two cents.
Enjoyed the recap Hypnotoad..gracias for your work!
15 of 18 | Posted by Yur Mom | Posted on November 6, 2008 9:14 AM
You guys, I totally just scoured the northern Chicago area for "9 to 5" and I finally found it at Barnes and Noble in Evanston. Hee! When she's wheeling that body out of the hospital -- I love me some Lily Tomlin!
Since the Katherine/McCluskey Mystery Hour proved to be a disappointment, I'm glad to see Cherry brought in Tomlin. I have a feeling that the McCluskey/Sister McCluskey Mystery Hour will be even better!
16 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 7, 2008 10:44 PM
Love your recaps! I looked up that Ann Kirby--she is played by Gail O'Grady from NYPD Blue.
17 of 18 | Posted by EllenA551 | Posted on November 8, 2008 6:23 PM
Dude, Dave Williams is in Angels in the Outfield. Don't ask why I was watching that, but seriously. He plays a moron with beige hair.
18 of 18 | Posted by christ911 | Posted on November 16, 2008 12:37 PM