Lynette is in her master bedroom, and Tom bursts in all antsy, asking if Porter is still at Kirby Schilling's house (now, let's remember that Kirby's mom is Anne, whore of the Blü Odyssey rehearsal space). He says that he thinks he left the freezer door open at Scavo's so he better check. Lynette tells him to hurry back. Cut to Anne Schilling lying in the futon at the band's loft, draped in a sheet. She says, "I'm so glad you could get away. I didn't think you'd make it." And who is she revealed to be speaking to? None other than Porter Scavo! Homeboy pulled a John Rowland! There's a noise outside, and Porter discovers it's his dad. Tom rushes in just as Porter is putting on his shoes. Tom figured it was someone in Blü Odyssey until he remembered that Porter had a key. Porter convinces Tom not to burst in on the bedroom, saying it's "some girl from English class," so Tom gives Porter 60 seconds to get her the eff out of Dodge. However, Lynette "Can Never Ever Trust My Husband" Scavo has pulled up just in time to see Anne leaving. Great.
Katherine's walking back to her place, and on her way she spies Mike, and comments on how handsome he looks (in a neighborly way). Mike says he was on a disastrous date, and says he just wants someone nice to have coffee with. And although Katherine says it's too late for coffee, she does have lemonade. Yeah, Mike will settle for lemonade. See Katie? Leftovers.
Tom and Porter arrive back home, and have a heart to heart in the driveway, Tom saying that he doesn't think Porter is emotionally ready to have sex. That's kind of insulting. And true. As they hug, Porter sees Anne's car, and excusing himself to pull Tom's car around - which is actually in the driveway, I might add - goes to his cradle-robbing girlfriend. Porter tells her Tom doesn't expect anything, and that she's worth any trouble that may arise.
What's there to be jealous of? You're like twins!
As Mary Alice voiceovers, Lynette angrily packs her bags. Mrs. Hildebrand brushes her hair (Mary Alice: "Some [women] are predators, deviously setting traps to get what they want."). McCluskey pulls up to her house and Roberta hands her a manila envelope, telling her Dave is keeping a little secret. Well, we should find out what that is in the next 11 or so episodes.
Allegedly on the next DH: The truth about Dave, the truth about Porter, the truth about Katherine . . . it's pretty much all about truth.
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Comments (18)
I literally was like "Well at least he didn't murder anyone" about the guy Katherine slept with. Pretty bad.
Is Porter the Scavo that was cybering with Lynette? I am too lazy to look it up.
I really was so sold on Dave being related to the people Mike killed in the car accident.
1 of 18 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:22 PM
Hi - I love your recaps, and I'm actually not done with this one yet, but I wanted to point out that Bree told Katherine to get a 'pedicure' (or do one or something like that). That's when she said, "What do you bet I take my socks off and see if Orson's already done it for me?"
Still not utterly hilarious, but at least now it makes sense. :-)
2 of 18 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:37 PM
Hi - I love your recaps and look forward to them! I just wanted to point out that Bree actually told Katherine to get a 'pedicure', when Katherine responded with "What do you bet I take my socks off and see if Orson's already done it for me?"
Still not utterly hilarious, but at least now it makes sense. :-)
3 of 18 | Posted by Nakabe | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:42 PM
I loved the new spelling of Blu. It totally reminded me of Blu Cantrell who sang Hit Em Up Style. Good song. ha
4 of 18 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:42 PM
Sorry about that double posting, I thought I canceled the first :-/
5 of 18 | Posted by nakabe | Posted on November 5, 2008 1:51 PM
nakabe - But see, it still doesn't make sense to me. It's all about the semantics. If Katherine had said something like, "What do you bet I REACH DOWN TO take my socks off and see Orson's already done it for me?" then it would make sense. It's weird that she says she actually takes them off and then notices that they were already off. She can't take off her socks herself and then notice that someone else had already done it.
Or, I may just be crazy.
6 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 2:54 PM
hypnotoad- You're not crazy but what she meant was that Orson would have already done her pedicure for her =)
Great recap as always! I'm with you in ur McClusky love and Jackson hair hatred.
7 of 18 | Posted by corndog | Posted on November 5, 2008 4:02 PM
Holy. Crap. I'm not crazy, I'm just. Frigging. Stupid. Dang. I totally did not get that. I bow down before you, gasmii. I tip my hat to you sirs/madams.
8 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 4:47 PM
I think Porter actually offered to cover Tom's car, which makes that part a little less silly.
And also, are these episodes even good? I have never seen any before this season (because no Gale Harold = no kelsey), so I have nothing to compare them to...but the Dave story is lagging and it makes me crazy.
9 of 18 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:35 PM
Holy crap. Was I even paying attention to this episode? I blame the rum. Partially.
Kelsey - the show was darn awesome in the past. Even season 1, which is arguably the best season of the show. That rarely happens. If you can, I'd check it out. The mystery was much more interesting and fast-paced, and the "evil" characters were much darker. Season 2 was okay, and I really loved season 3. Season 4 was affected by the writers strike, but I felt that the mystery then really kept my interest.
Rent season 1 on DVD. I guarantee you'll be hooked. And also, very surprised about how some of the characters acted back then.
10 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:51 PM
But to add my humble opinion (which I should have done in the first place), this season is completely the weakest of all DH seasons. I really feel that they're not giving Lynette anything to do other than be suspicious/jealous of Tom, and that road has been well-covered. And as for the other ladies, there's just nothing there. I liked it when the actual ladies of Wisteria Lane were involved in the "mysteries," and so far this season, it hasn't really happened.
11 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:56 PM
"and Susan offers to pay him more than she is now."
I took that to mean she felt the new painter was worth more... but I didn't get she would cough it up or anything. Still, it was a nice exchange.
reading on...
12 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:00 AM
Hey DP -- "Is Porter the Scavo that was cybering with Lynette? I am too lazy to look it up."
me too, but I am pretty sure it's the twin bc he looks a little bit different, plus they prob have to give both boys some screen time, contractually speaking, non?
just a guess.
Also, yeah -- Lily fucking Tomlin -- I had no idea and was soooooo psyched to see her! She is such an incredible comedian. If you ever get the chance to see her legendary one woman show - do.
more l8r............
13 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:08 AM
btw, hypnotoad - this is some hilariously snarky shit you've got going on here. loving these recaps.
I've really gotta go to bed..........
14 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 6, 2008 1:14 AM
Agree this is one of the lamest seasons of DH. I don't hate the 5 year jump, but there just isn't much action ... and it's SLOW. I like always love Neil McDon. (Dave) and was excited for his addition, but it's meandering and ... well, kind of lame.
Lily Tomlin was super, and McClusky is fun this year too. I liked the old Katherine better, she was super last year. Oh ... and Tom & Lynnette drive me crazy. What's up with her hair, anyways? Partial wig? She was best when she was working at the ad agency as super-mom.
OK, that's my two cents.
Enjoyed the recap Hypnotoad..gracias for your work!
15 of 18 | Posted by Yur Mom | Posted on November 6, 2008 9:14 AM
You guys, I totally just scoured the northern Chicago area for "9 to 5" and I finally found it at Barnes and Noble in Evanston. Hee! When she's wheeling that body out of the hospital -- I love me some Lily Tomlin!
Since the Katherine/McCluskey Mystery Hour proved to be a disappointment, I'm glad to see Cherry brought in Tomlin. I have a feeling that the McCluskey/Sister McCluskey Mystery Hour will be even better!
16 of 18 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 7, 2008 10:44 PM
Love your recaps! I looked up that Ann Kirby--she is played by Gail O'Grady from NYPD Blue.
17 of 18 | Posted by EllenA551 | Posted on November 8, 2008 6:23 PM
Dude, Dave Williams is in Angels in the Outfield. Don't ask why I was watching that, but seriously. He plays a moron with beige hair.
18 of 18 | Posted by christ911 | Posted on November 16, 2008 12:37 PM